Ethel quotes from I Love Lucy

Lucy

Once you get to know Ethel, you'll find she's more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

Ethel

Monkeys that seldom get invited out of their barrels, that is.

Lucy

We're in the egg business together, so half of those eggs belong to Ethel. Isn't that right dear?

Ethel

Yes, the shells.

Ethel

[referring to Ava Gardner in a restaurant] She's just people Fred, remember? Just like you and me.

Fred

She may be people, but she's not like you and me.

Lucy

You were just up here and said it sounded great.

Ethel

Well, I'm down here now and it sounds lousy!

Ethel

[referring to hamburgers] At least we put meat in ours.

Lucy

And just what are you insinuating we put in ours?

Ethel

I'm not saying, but you can bet on it in the afternoon and eat it at night!

Ethel

Thanks for the present!

Lucy

YOU'RE WELCOME!!!!!!!

Ricky

[reading to Ethel from a script Lucy wrote] Is there something wrong with your lover?

Lucy

LIVER!

Ethel

[later on, to Ricky] I think you go out to meet your liver.

Lucy

LOVER!

Ethel

Fred, I got a confession to make. Remember when we got married and I said I was 18? I was 19.

Fred

Well I got a confession to make too. You were 24.

Fred

What do you need a new lamp for? Abe Lincoln read by candlelight.

Ethel

Don't drag your boyhood friends into this, Fred.

Fred

What about ten dollars?

Ethel

What's the matter with twenty dollars?

Ricky

Well what's the matter with thirty dollars?

Lucy

Well what's the matter with fifty dollars?

Fred

What was the matter with ten dollars?

Lucy

Ricky!

Ethel

Fred!

Lucy

We're revolting!

Ricky

No more than usual.

Ethel

I wanted a toaster!

Lucy

Well Fred told me that but I couldn't believe you could be that dull!

Ethel

Listen, I'd look better wearing a toaster than I would those checkerboard britches!

Ethel

Ethel to Tillie, Ethel to Tillie, come in Tillie. Over.

Fred

Well done, Medium Raya.