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SEASON 2

Hotel Hell · Season 2

Hotel Hell Season 2 quotes

11 quotes

S2 E2Monticello Hotel

Tell me about Phillip's management style.

DDebbie

Well, when he's sober, I get along with him just fine. When he's drinking, I avoid him at all costs.

Does he drink a lot on site?

DDebbie

Yes. He does.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how bad is he drinking now?

DDebbie

A 10.

A 10?

DDebbie

This week, he was arrested.

For what?

DDebbie

DUI.

You are. Fucking. Kidding me.

DDebbie

I'm not kidding. [Shows Gordon the newspaper]

Oh my God; Monticello Hotel owner jailed. Jailed?!

DDebbie

He was kept overnight in jail.

Bloody hell. Why would he not tell me that, when it just happened; hours ago?

S2 E3Applegate River Lodge

Uh...so, are you making money here?

DDusty

Yes sir.

How much money do you make a month?

DDusty

Last month, I made about $12,000.

Wow. So you make $150 grand a year.

DDusty

With everything working right, yeah.

And you don't pay a dollar profit to your mother.

DDusty

Profit? Excuse me?

The business is a million dollars in debt, you make a shitload of money, and your mom gets nothing.

JJoanna

(interview) I was shocked that Dusty makes that much and that bothers me because he should help me out financially.

Knowing full well that you stand to inherit this business, there's still not a penny going in to reducing debt and this is your mother!

DDusty

Correct. (interview) I really devoted my life to this place and to be treated like I don't care about my family and I don't care about this business, it really cut to the core and I have no problem telling him to get the fuck out of here.

I'd give you a kick up the arse if that was my son.

I'm embarrassed. I'm amazed you're still open. There's no fucking standards in here.

DDusty

I don't believe that there are no standards.

You've got a river running outside your patio with salmon in it and you're serving frozen salmon! Where's the standard then?

DDusty

What we do is not shit.

You may be able to manipulate your mother. But you're not going to pull the wool over my eyes. Because you're playing at running a restaurant that's been given to you and you don't actually work for this. You grew up here so, "Hey mom, I want to be a restaurateur this week!" Without your mother in this lodge, you're fucked!

S2 E5Calumet Inn

(Voiceover) At the heart of Pipestone, Minnesota stands the historic Calumet Inn built in 1887. Calumet is the native American word for peace pipe. But sadly, peace is something short of supply at the Calumet Inn. The hotel is owned by sisters, Rina and Vanda Smrkovski. Nine months ago, their father, Jim, or "Daddy" as they call him, purchased the hotel for the sisters.

JJim

(interview) I'm not sure Rina and Vanda know how privileged they are.

(interview) Just because we dress nice doesn't mean we're spoiled.

JJim

(interview) They are definitely a little bit spoiled.

(Voiceover) Rina's not just a little bit spoiled, she's also a bit of a crybaby.

(crying) There's just too much trash talking going around here and I can't work with people like that! I'm so sick and tired of being judged!

JJim

You're going to have to come down to earth.

(interview) God, I cry a lot. I don't know, what was I crying about? I don't even know.

(Voiceover) After owning the hotel for just six weeks, Rina found working a bit much, so she took the weekend off in Minneapolis, 200 miles away...and she didn't return for three months. While she was away, the hotel was left at the mercy of her younger sister, Vanda. Vanda considers herself very hardworking, although she doesn't get out of bed until 3:00 every afternoon leaving the hotel understaffed.

(interview) A lot of times, I feel like people come to work just to make tips and for their paycheck, and they're not necessarily here to take care of this historic artifact.

JJennifer

I used to love my job... and now I hate it.

I can see. What's not working for you?

JJennifer

The owners.

I'm not going to tolerate disrespect. You know; we're not getting paid, we're not paying ourselves!

You can't, as owners, complain about not getting paid. You fucking own the place! They don't have ownership of this historic building - their daddy is not paying for everything!

Can I tell you something, Gordon? Jen has called herself the best cook in town. She has...

Stop picking on her! You have turned... every fucking member of staff against you.

I used to be really chirpy and happy, and I've; I can't even smile anymore.

It's not about you!

Yeah, I can't even; I can't even motivate myself to do my projects anymore...

But... again, just listen to you, both of you!

JJoselyn

Kill me, kill me, kill me!

You're only as good as the team underneath you. Whether you are here three months a fucking year or three hours a day; it doesn't matter!

Yeah, yeah.

Grow up!

Mandy, what kind of effect does it have on the team where you can't get a word from your owners?

MMandy

It's really annoying. It's past aggressive behavior. It makes people just, you know, they don't want to talk to you. "Fine, you don't want to talk to us, we don't want to talk to you."

There's attitude. I do, but when they do, there's attitude.

MMandy

Okay, first of all, that shit starts with you two then!

See, there's emotion.

I want people who are committed!

MMandy

Committed?! FUCK YOU!! I've been here for three and a half years! I've done everything from bartending the fucking pub, to housekeeping, to front desk, to serving!

We want to know if you'll be here, that's the thing.

MMandy

FUCK OFF!! I'm fucking done! I'm fucking done! Fuck off! Committed? You stupid bitch, you just got here! (walks out of the inn) (interview) I work 65 fucking hours a week, sometimes 70 and I have two fucking kids, I'm a single fucking mom!

It feels like I'm in a women's fucking prison!

MMandy

(interview) I'm leaving. I'm done. (drives off in her truck)

[Mandy has walked out of the inn frustrated over the owners' inability to run the place]

Our general manager has just walked out.

You know, the funny thing is--

No, no. This isn't funny. That girl dedicated her life into keeping you in a hotel. Have you ever employed one member of staff?

JJennifer

Like, she even worked a day in her life.

How can you say that, Jennifer?

JJennifer

If you were here for two seconds! I've been running my ass off the whole fucking day!!

You guys don't see me do those things. I do them but you don't see it! You don't know the life I live. You have no clue. [more arguing by the staff]

Fuck’s sake! One of you step up! If you were my daughters, I'd kick you out! (Vanda smirks) You can laugh all you fucking want. I'm not your father but what I do know is, you don't fucking deserve this! Thank you for the first meeting in nine months.

(interview) I thought Gordon was going to be nice to me!

(walking back to his room) That was extraordinary. The only person who actually cared about this place, Mandy the general manager has gone. Those daughters are absolutely screwed.

Do you honestly think that you are capable of running this hotel?

When I want something bad enough, and when I have my mind up to it, I always, I always accomplish.

At 32 years of age, tell me one thing that you've accomplished in your life, on your own.

I worked when I was 14, at a fast food place...

Are you serious? You want me to get impressed with that?

No, I; no, but I'm just saying...

Vanda. Do you honestly think that you and your big sister are capable of running this hotel?

I wanna say yes, but it just... my head says no!

[Fake crying]

RRina (interview)

I feel like a knife has just been run through my heart. But, I can run this place by myself.

You have to be honest with yourself.

I think we can make it with the positive reinforcement that I use.

Oh my God... I would shit myself, asking you to run my dog up the hill. Let alone a hotel.

S2 E8Murphys Hotel

So the walk in fridge, how often is that cleaned out?

JJoel

Twice a week.

Marked? Everything out? Come with me, all of you. Especially the owners.

JJoel

Sounds good.

Sounds good? Really? Fucking hell! (finds moldy tortillas in the fridge)

JJoel

Oh wow man.

Oh wow?! OH WOW?!

BBrian

Fuck... (interview) Fucking moldy tortillas? There should not be fucking any moldy fucking food. It’s fucking horrible!

(Finds a rotten potato) When was this made?

JJoel

Last Saturday. Three days ago.

Just smell it.

JJoel

We need to toss it, I know that.

(finds lasagna) And this, terrible! You should be fucking ashamed.

JJoel

Okay.

Okay?! No, it's not okay! (finds a bucket of sauce) What is that?

JJoel

Tha...Black mold.

What's it supposed to be?

JJoel

Thai chili marinade.

Thai chili marinade.

JJoel

I don't know if it's been used in a while.

KKevin

(interview) The sauces were from a chef who had been there in 2006 or 7 or something.

This is exactly the same way as you run this fucking hotel. You don't give a shit.

BBrian

I give a shit. I give a shit.

If this is your dream of running a hotel, then how about manning up and look like fucking owners?!

BBrian

We are. This is fucking unacceptable and it's not going to happen anymore!

Have you checked out because you should do the only thing?

JJoel

No, I haven't.

Say to these two, "Fuck it, I’m out!"

JJoel

He has not checked out!

Can you let him talk?!

JJoel

I haven't checked out and obviously, I need to pay more attention and do better at my job.

How any of you can run a fucking business? Do you ever see three CEO'S? Three fucking general managers? Three fucking executive chefs? Huh? IT'S LIKE DUMBER, DUMBER AND DUMBEST!! ARE YOU GUYS REALLY THE FUCKING OWNERS?!

BBrian

True story.

FUCK OFF!

These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hotel Hell pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.