“Calumet Inn” quotes from Hotel Hell

Gordon

(Voiceover) At the heart of Pipestone, Minnesota stands the historic Calumet Inn built in 1887. Calumet is the native American word for peace pipe. But sadly, peace is something short of supply at the Calumet Inn. The hotel is owned by sisters, Rina and Vanda Smrkovski. Nine months ago, their father, Jim, or "Daddy" as they call him, purchased the hotel for the sisters.

(interview) I'm not sure Rina and Vanda know how privileged they are.

(interview) Just because we dress nice doesn't mean we're spoiled.

(interview) They are definitely a little bit spoiled.

Gordon

(Voiceover) Rina's not just a little bit spoiled, she's also a bit of a crybaby.

(crying) There's just too much trash talking going around here and I can't work with people like that! I'm so sick and tired of being judged!

You're going to have to come down to earth.

(interview) God, I cry a lot. I don't know, what was I crying about? I don't even know.

Gordon

(Voiceover) After owning the hotel for just six weeks, Rina found working a bit much, so she took the weekend off in Minneapolis, 200 miles away...and she didn't return for three months. While she was away, the hotel was left at the mercy of her younger sister, Vanda. Vanda considers herself very hardworking, although she doesn't get out of bed until 3:00 every afternoon leaving the hotel understaffed.

(interview) A lot of times, I feel like people come to work just to make tips and for their paycheck, and they're not necessarily here to take care of this historic artifact.

Gordon

I feel like a Goonie. "HEY, YOU GUYS!!"

I used to love my job... and now I hate it.

Gordon

I can see. What's not working for you?

The owners.

I'm not going to tolerate disrespect. You know; we're not getting paid, we're not paying ourselves!

Gordon

You can't, as owners, complain about not getting paid. You fucking own the place! They don't have ownership of this historic building - their daddy is not paying for everything!

Can I tell you something, Gordon? Jen has called herself the best cook in town. She has...

Gordon

Stop picking on her! You have turned... every fucking member of staff against you.

I used to be really chirpy and happy, and I've; I can't even smile anymore.

Gordon

It's not about you!

Yeah, I can't even; I can't even motivate myself to do my projects anymore...

Gordon

But... again, just listen to you, both of you!

Kill me, kill me, kill me!

Gordon

You're only as good as the team underneath you. Whether you are here three months a fucking year or three hours a day; it doesn't matter!

Yeah, yeah.

Gordon

Grow up!

Gordon

Mandy, what kind of effect does it have on the team where you can't get a word from your owners?

It's really annoying. It's past aggressive behavior. It makes people just, you know, they don't want to talk to you. "Fine, you don't want to talk to us, we don't want to talk to you."

There's attitude. I do, but when they do, there's attitude.

Okay, first of all, that shit starts with you two then!

See, there's emotion.

I want people who are committed!

Committed?! FUCK YOU!! I've been here for three and a half years! I've done everything from bartending the fucking pub, to housekeeping, to front desk, to serving!

We want to know if you'll be here, that's the thing.

FUCK OFF!! I'm fucking done! I'm fucking done! Fuck off! Committed? You stupid bitch, you just got here! (walks out of the inn) (interview) I work 65 fucking hours a week, sometimes 70 and I have two fucking kids, I'm a single fucking mom!

Gordon

It feels like I'm in a women's fucking prison!

(interview) I'm leaving. I'm done. (drives off in her truck)

Gordon

Our general manager has just walked out.

You know, the funny thing is--

Gordon

No, no. This isn't funny. That girl dedicated her life into keeping you in a hotel. Have you ever employed one member of staff?

Like, she even worked a day in her life.

How can you say that, Jennifer?

If you were here for two seconds! I've been running my ass off the whole fucking day!!

You guys don't see me do those things. I do them but you don't see it! You don't know the life I live. You have no clue. [more arguing by the staff]

Gordon

Fuck’s sake! One of you step up! If you were my daughters, I'd kick you out! (Vanda smirks) You can laugh all you fucking want. I'm not your father but what I do know is, you don't fucking deserve this! Thank you for the first meeting in nine months.

(interview) I thought Gordon was going to be nice to me!

Gordon

(walking back to his room) That was extraordinary. The only person who actually cared about this place, Mandy the general manager has gone. Those daughters are absolutely screwed.

Gordon

Do you honestly think that you are capable of running this hotel?

When I want something bad enough, and when I have my mind up to it, I always, I always accomplish.

Gordon

At 32 years of age, tell me one thing that you've accomplished in your life, on your own.

I worked when I was 14, at a fast food place...

Gordon

Are you serious? You want me to get impressed with that?

No, I; no, but I'm just saying...

Gordon

Vanda. Do you honestly think that you and your big sister are capable of running this hotel?

I wanna say yes, but it just... my head says no!

[Fake crying]

I feel like a knife has just been run through my heart. But, I can run this place by myself.

Gordon

You have to be honest with yourself.

I think we can make it with the positive reinforcement that I use.

Gordon

Oh my God... I would shit myself, asking you to run my dog up the hill. Let alone a hotel.