Robert quotes from Hotel Hell

(Interview) The guests that we don't want here, are people who don't have a lot of money.

When we typically take a reservation, we will tell people it's a three course meal.

Gordon

But that's... for the residents, I'm talking about a local coming in here.

We're reservation only though, so nobody walks in, we don't have a walk-in.

Gordon

What? How can you expect to appeal to the locals?

Um... we haven't identified the appropriate people to come here or...

Gordon

Hold on a minute. What do you mean, "appropriate people"?

People who can afford 59$ for three courses.

"Appropriate people"? What a snob! Where does he think he is; The Ritz?

Gordon

Are you always this pathetic?

I am not pathetic.

Gordon

Well when are you going to stand up and start showing some respect for your team, and start growing a pair, to sort of understand the mess you're in?

I understand the mess we're in.

Gordon

Right.

I'm fighting for the team.

Gordon

You dug the fucking hole...

Yes.

Gordon

...and put them in it! So they're fucked!

They don't have to work here.

Gordon

Oh, my God!

I mean, you know, the bottom line is...

Gordon

How dare you?

No, they don't have to work here!

Gordon

How DARE you? How FUCKING DARE you! "They don't have to work here." Oh, my God!

I, I - I - care -

Gordon

You disrespectful, disgusting man! "They don't have to work here." I don't think you realize how fucking lucky you are. Because if it wasn't for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 of them, you'd be driving that RV miles away from here!

(interview) Robert definitely needs a reality check. It's life or death right now, and I don't think he actually realizes what kind of jeopardy this place is in.

Gordon

It's not all about you, Robert. Robert's world, Robert's bubble, Robert's dream. You're not the lord of the manor, and you're not The Great Gatsby. You're - you're, you're - you're Robert. There's only me in here.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Gordon

Go on then, you pompous fuck!

EXCUSE me! Don't talk to me like that.

Gordon

What - what's wrong with it? I want to know what's wrong with -

Don't speak to me like that!

Gordon

Well I'm telling you! Get your head out of your arse and start getting a little fucking real! You STILL haven't got it, that this place is sinking! Start paying a little more attention to the guys on the ground, understand how hard it is out there, forget your fucking... Antique Roadshow... and START from the bottom running this business! You're right: there's no structure! It's fragmented! The team needs a leader, they need a structure. They need a mentor, they need some... support! And all they get is nitpicked. What kind of motivation is that? All I've heard since I've been here is you're just blaming people. And I'm blaming you for not taking charge. GET FUCKING REAL. (walks out) Fucking hell...

I have to tell you, the reason that I did that was that because I thought that they would at least tip my staff.

Gordon

But they didn't tip your staff. Sorry to piss on your bonfire.

Well, then I will call my friends and I will tell them "Look, what happened?"

Gordon

You haven't got the fucking balls to call your friends and ask them to leave a tip!

Yes I do.

Gordon

Call them, then.

Gordon

And ask them, "I thought, at least out of generosity, you would have left a couple hundred dollars tip for the team."

Hello?

Dana.

Yes?

It's Robert. You stayed here recently, and, uh, I was under the impression that you and Greg left a tip. Did you leave a tip?

Well, I left the money with you.

No, no, no. But you said you were going to send additional tip.

Gordon

I think my time's done here.

That was one of the things that I was hoping you had done.

If I didn't do what I was supposed to do, I'm very sorry, and...

Gordon

[walks out of the RV in disgust] "I left the money with you."

Wait a minute, there's others to call too. Gordon...

Gordon

Oh, dear!

Gordon has left. He thinks I'm stealing my staff's tips.

Gordon

Unbelieveable. Joke!

[Calling Ari on the phone] Hey Ari, it's Robert. Did you tip the staff, because they're telling people that they haven't been tipped.

Gordon

[Walking to his car] "I left the money with you."

Oh, so I need to do that. I... I somehow lost that.

Gordon

Fucking idiot.

(interview) Gordon left thinking I'm a liar. I feel as if I... I'm at the end of my rope... and I'm going to lose everything. I'll have to start all over again if this doesn't work, and... [sobbing] It just doesn't seem I can do it any more! I know I can't do it!