Bayliss, don't give me any zen song and dance about how money is an illusion, taxes are an illusion, the IRS is an illusion.
On the contrary, John, money is Mara, the Destroyer, the Evil One.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Mike, do you know anybody in the IRS?
IRS?
Don't go there.
I'm lookin' for information on an IRS agent. Address, phone number, marital status.
You want me to dig up some dirt on an IRS agent?
Isn't there some super-secret federal database that you could access?
What are you, nuts? You don't mess with the IRS.
But you're FBI, you could say I'm toe to toe with these guys.
I could. The question is, why would I?
Leave it alone, Munchkin.
It's not like I'm gonna stalk the guy, Mike, I just need an edge.
The Zapruder film's out on VHS and DVD, as if there's a choice.
DVD, definitely. Gotta have that freeze frame, stop action, enhancement capability.
One night after work, we should open a bottle of zinfandel and watch the Zapruder film frame by frame and see which ones are missing.
Twenty-six seconds of the most compelling footage ever filmed.
The woman of my dreams.
What's that on your tie there? Is it...pesto sauce?
You wish.
[The squad was making a list of hip Jews, and Sammy Davis Jr. came up, although some said he was hip just because he was black]
So you're saying all black people are hip?
Name one who ain't.
George Washington Carver.
Please. How many things can a white man do with a peanut?
Shelled or unshelled?
I got one. Meldrick Lewis.
Well, he is black.
Yep.
But not particularly hip.
Nope.
What you talkin' about Willis?
Point taken. I guess Sammy Davis goes back on the list.
No no no, hold on, let's just stop the game right here. I can be accused of a lot of things, but falling off the cutting edge is not one of 'em. Terri- am I down or am I down?
What?
Am I hip? Tell these fools.
Uh, you have your moments.
Moments?
I don't know, maybe, you try too hard.
I'm not playin' no more.
NNaomi
Boss wants to see you. Stat.
Stat? Been watching those wretched medical dramas again?
[referring to Michael] Little Gee.
Chip off the old boulder.
So many bodies, so little time...
[to woman] Are you a lawyer? I hate lawyers.
There are moments when I actually begin to believe.
Believe what?
That we work for God.
John Munch without a newspaper? That's like a drug dealer without a pager.
[to Kellerman] You work for the dollar, I work for justice.
[to Kellerman] I remember when the truth mattered to you more than your paycheck.
Kellerman's a dog. A Jack Russell terrier. He sinks his teeth in your butt and won't let go.
I have bought enough damn spatulas.
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