Mike Kellerman quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Have we met?

Kellerman

No, but I once had the pleasure of shooting your brother.

Munch

Hey pal, where you from?

[an obvious New Yorker] Baltimore.

Kellerman

Oh yeah?

Abso-freakin'-lutely. I love Baltimore. Eat crabs. Go, Orioles.

Munch

That's not how we say it.

Kellerman

It's 'Bawlmer,' hon. We lose the 't.'

Oh yeah, well lose this, pal.

Kellerman

Enough with the metaphors.

Munch

If not metaphors, what are we left with? We have a riddle, surrounded by a mystery, wrapped inside an enigma, and stuffed inside a body bag.

Munch

Hey partner, ready to roll?

Kellerman

Actually, I gotta run to the dentist; I cracked a filling.

Munch

Which part do you hate the worst? The rubber dam they put in your mouth to open it, or the sound of the drill?

Kellerman

I think the worst part is when I scream like a little girl.

Ballard

We speak for the dead, remember?

Kellerman

Screw the dead. What have their moldering asses ever done for me?

Kellerman

He had a gun! That is the truth! He had a gun. [lowers arm]

Pembleton

The gun is down?

Kellerman

He had a gun; he had it!

Falsone

The gun is down. Mahoney lowered his gun. You fired. You were no longer in fear of iminent threat. You shot him down.

Pembleton

Give me your badge, Mike.