Tim Bayliss quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Kellerman

I just want you to know that I'm here for you. And if you want a hug, I'd be happy to give you one.

Bayliss

A hug?

Kellerman

Yeah.

Bayliss

Do you and Lewis hug?

Kellerman

Yeah.

Bayliss

A lot?

Kellerman

No, not a lot.

Bayliss

But enough.

Kellerman

What do you mean?

Bayliss

Well, do you want Lewis to hug you more?

Kellerman

Forget I brought this up.

Bayliss

No, no, no. You brought up the hugging thing.

Bayliss

Listen to me, I'm sounding like Pembleton here.

Howard

It could be worse, you could sound like Munch.

Bayliss

You're looking good there, Frank. You're looking sure. Everyday, you're looking a little more sure. Not taking your medicine, are you? I'm a detective, Frank. A keen observer of the human condition. I pick up on the subtlest clues, I react to the slightest suggestion. In short, I deduce.

Pembleton

Who told you?

Bayliss

Brodie. You gotta take your medicine, Frank. If you don't take your pills Frank, your head's gonna explode.

Pembleton

What I gotta do is pass this test. I pass, I'm a detective. I fail, I'm office furniture.

Bayliss

I hear you passed your firearms exam; that is the best news.

Pembleton

Well, not for you.

Bayliss

What do you mean?

Pembleton

The good times are over. The easy times. I'm back; I'm rested. I'm.... meaner than ever.

Bayliss

You have got the absolute right to remain silent!

Pembleton

Of course you do. You're a criminal. Criminals always have the right to remain silent.

Lewis

We're talking about sacred freedoms here, notably your Fifth Amendment protection against self-incrimination. Hey, if it was good enough for Ollie North and Mark Fuhrman, who the hell are you to incriminate yourself at the first opportunity?

Munch

Get it straight, a police detective paid government money to put you in prison is explaining your absolute right to shut up before you say anything stupid.

Bayliss

It wouldn't kill you to show some enthusiasm. Smile every once in a while.

Pembleton

Well, I'm not a smiler, I'm not a hugger, I'm not a sensitive guy. That's you, not me.

Pembleton

What, you're feeling sorry for yourself cause you lost a case?

Bayliss

I've spent my life trying not to feel sorry for myself. See, Adena Watson, Janelle Parsons, Tonya Thompson. Every murdered child, every abused child, I understand. Cause all those children are me. Yeah, I know what that's all about. You see, my uncle, my father's brother, I was 5 years old, and he would follow me into the bathroom and he would close the door and he would take my hand in his and he would.... After he was done, he would smile and he would say what a good boy I was and oh, yeah, shhh....And this went on for years, years. My, my parents, they couldn't understand why I cried at every holiday, every family get together. So when I was 8 years old, I told my father, what had been going on, and I remember it was a struggle to get those words out and my father just stared at me and he asked me why I was lying. And he was my father and he was supposed to protect me Frank, but he didn't. See, for him, whatever was happening, it was like an inconvenience. See, to him, I wasn't a real person, and he never saw me, he never really looked at me. Ever.

Pembleton

Tim, I'm sorry.

Bayliss

I don't want your comfort Frank. That's not why I told you.

Pembleton

Alright.

Bayliss

By the way, I don't wanna be partners with you anymore.

Kellerman

You sure you want me with you?

Bayliss

Yeah. Sure, why not?

Kellerman

I don't know. The last time we worked together, you, uh, were kinda snarky.

Bayliss

Snarky?

Kellerman

Yeah. Snarky. You know, from the ancient Greek, meaning butthead.

Hey, I found an ear.

Bayliss

Friends, Romans, countrymen....

Kellerman

Ear today, gone tommorow.

Dr. Cox

You guys are so sick.

Pembleton

This man was a bastard.

Bayliss

Yeah, he was.

Pembleton

He got what he deserved.

Bayliss

Yes, he did.

Pembleton

Manslaughter, 5 years suspended.

Bayliss

What are you talking about? It doesn't work that way!

Pembleton

[laughs] It doesn't?

Bayliss

No! No, you can't just go through this world giving every bastard what he deserves!

Pembleton

Where's Brodie?

Munch

PBS aired his documentary. He won an Emmy.

Bayliss

An Emmy? They give those things to anybody.

Bayliss

Hey Gharty, whose house are you in? Frank here, has closed more cases than the two of you will in a lifetime.

Gharty

This is his house? I'm a guest?

Bayliss

You all right?

Pembleton

Did you ever notice when a rain is coming leaves on a sugar maple will turn over? Learn something new every day.

Pembleton

The guy, he says to me "I'm okay."

Bayliss

I'm just speaking my mind here, Frank. I can do that with you because you are a man.

Pembleton

Well, pretend I'm a woman. That way you can keep your thoughts to yourself.

Pembleton

You're not Manuel Rendares, are you?

Bernard Weeks. How the hell did y'all get onto me? I was so damn careful. I've been moving this kind of weight for 5 years and not so much as a traffic stop. Y'all DEA, right?

Bayliss

No.

FBI, Customs?

Pembleton

Nope.

Local narcotics. How long you been onto me? 6 months? Longer? You had to be on me for about a year, year and a half, to roll up on me with this kinda weight.

Pembleton

Nah. We weren't looking for you.

Say what?

Pembleton

We're not local narcotics.

Bayliss

We're Baltimore Homicide. We're lookin' for someone else. This is just a…a mistake.

A mistake?

Pembleton

Yeah.

You roll up on me with 200 kilograms and it's a mistake?!

Pembleton

Well, you haven't by any chance killed anybody in Baltimore lately, have you?

No way.

Pembleton

[exasperated] We just wasted another day.

[stunned] A mistake?

Bayliss

Yeah. Sorry. Get him outta here.