Tim Bayliss quotes from Homicide: Life on the Street

Bayliss

Kellerman's a dog. A Jack Russell terrier. He sinks his teeth in your butt and won't let go.

Bayliss

Resentment is like you taking poison and hoping the other guy's gonna die.

Bayliss

Time for one more confession, Frank.

Bayliss

Let me just say something, sir; this is where I've always wanted to be. You know what I'm saying? Homicide. Thinking cops. Not a gun. [Taps his temple] This.

Giardello

[Slightly bemused] That's very poetic.

Bayliss

Why should the killer even stay in Baltimore anymore?

Munch

Well, if he is from Baltimore, he won't go. He'll talk about it, but he won't do it.

Pembleton

I had my doubts but you're right. I am now convinced that Tucker killed Adena Watson.

Bayliss

Really? I'm not so sure he did anymore.

Pembleton

Jake... Jake, what kinda name is that for a dog, especially a police dog?... Jake...

Bayliss

Jake is a good name, uh, solid, dependable, easy for a dog to respond to.

Pembleton

Naw naw naw, a dog should be named, um... Rex.

Bayliss

Rex... you know I had an Irish Setter one time and his name was Molly.

Pembleton

[laughs] An Irish Setter?

Bayliss

Molly was a beautiful dog!

Pembleton

I owned a Komondor. You with that Molly, you wouldn't have a clue; would you?

Bayliss

You had a Komondor? One of them foul-smelling sheep dogs from Hungary? You want me to be impressed?

Pembleton

Well, compared with an Irish setter, my dog is a genius; an Einstein.

Bayliss

Genius? And this genius's name was Rex.

Giardello

Bayliss, where's Pembleton?

Bayliss

Uh, I don't know, Gee.

Giardello

Don't say, "I don't know." He's your partner, you should know his every move, his every breath. Like a lover, he should never be far from your thoughts.

Bayliss

That was poetic.

Giardello

I'm in no mood for sarcasm.

Pembleton

Uh, Tim, I'm the secondary on this case. If you have something, I think you should share.

Bayliss

You should talk about sharing.

Pembleton

You said summer was hell.

Bayliss

Well... it was.

Pembleton

It's all mind over matter, Bayliss.

Bayliss

No, no, it's more than mind over matter. I know my mind and my mind remembers my ass melting into the tops of my shoes, all right? Summer was hell.

Pembleton

There's no humidity in hell.

Bayliss

What, you do a field report?

Pembleton

By all reliable accounts, there's not a single drop of water to pass between heaven and hell. Hell is a dry heat.

Bayliss

Oh. Well, book me a flight.

Pembleton

Listen, let me tell you something. We're all guilty of something, cruelty, or greed, or, or going 65 in a 55 mile per hour zone. But you know what? You wanna think about yourself as the fair-haired choir boy? You go AHEAD.

Bayliss

All right. Okay, so, uh, what are you saying, huh?

Pembleton

I'm saying you got a darkness, you, Tim Bayliss, you got a darkness inside of you. You gotta know the darker, uglier sides of yourself. You gotta recognize them, so that they're not constantly sneaking up on you. You gotta LOVE 'EM, 'cause they're part of you, because along with your virtues, they make you who you are. Virtue isn't virtue unless it slams up against vice. So consequently, your virtue's not real virtue. Until it's been tested. . . tempted.

Pembleton

You're not Catholic and you took communion?

Bayliss

Yeah, is that wrong?

Pembleton

If my God wins, you're screwed.

Pembleton

Damn Him!

Bayliss

The killer?

Pembleton

God.

Bayliss

Frank, I don't think you can ask God to damn Himself. And if you do, don't stand next to me because I don't want to get hit by lightning, this is a new suit.

Munch

But what if they make me take a test? I can't take tests. I always clutch. What if I take it and fail and all our dreams come crashing down?

Bayliss

Well, then it's simple. Meldrick and I will harm you.