Hawaii Five-0 · Season 1
[surprised to see Lou Grover and his daughter Samantha] What's up, Lou? What, uh, what are you doing here?
Well, we're doing a little community service as penance for someone's recent transgression. [glares at Samantha]
Ah.
Daddy, I said I was sorry.
Yeah, I remember. [Samantha rolls her eyes in response] [turns to Danny] Do yourself a favor. Don't let yours grow up.
No, I don't want her to grow up at all.
[chuckles at the sight of Danny in a t-shirt and denim shorts] Guess it's casual Friday. Must have missed the memo.
Oh, that'd be funny if it wasn't Tuesday.
[to Chin] Annual beach cleanup at Gracie's school.
Right. Which I'd much rather be spending my Christmas Eve over there than with a dead guy, all right? So if we could speed this up, that'd be nice.
[Steve and Danny enter the morgue and see Max trying to extract a bullet from the victim]
Hey, Max.
Oh, gentlemen, come on in. You are just in time.
Time for what? A game of Operation?
I would prefer if you would refrain from making your mildly entertaining witticisms as this takes complete concentration.
Yeah, no, I know you don't want to make the buzzer go off, right?
[looks at Steve] I don't envy you, Commander.
[Steve and Danny walk into Steve's office and catch Kamekona singing "Tiny Bubbles" and playing his ukelele]
What are you, uh, what are you doing?
"Tiny Bubbles." Written by Leon Pober, released by Don Ho in 1966.
Ah, and butchered by you here in 2013.
[grins] I liked it.
[grumbles under his breath] "Butchered". [hands Steve his ukelele and a piece of paper] This is for you, brah.
What is it?
Cost of doing business.
[looks at paper] No. This is this-this is $300. [Kamekona looks at him] What do you–– $300 for a ukulele?!
That's koa wood, brah. And good information does not come cheap. Especially during the holiday season.
[Steve grudgingly takes out his wallet and pays Kamekona]
Wow. You actually have a wallet.
Oh, you buying?
Yeah.
Who invited you?
This Grinch act of yours, just-just stop it. You know you like me. You just have difficulty expressing your feelings.
[to Lou] I don't know how he feels about you, but he definitely likes a free meal. That I know.
[turns to Danny] What's that supposed to mean??
[to Steve] Well, I don't want to put a fine point on it, but you are cheap.
[under his breath] Yeah. Oops.
[Steve and Lou are in the car to interview suspects, Danny is in his car]
[on the phone with Danny] How about you?
Me? I'm sick.
I mean, she's only gonna be gone for a couple of days, Danny, okay?
You're missing the point. She did the drop-and-run, Steve, okay? Not even barely a kiss on the cheek. All right? And this is not the first time. This is not the first time that I have looked in my girl's eyes and seen something different. I don't know what it is. It's like her innocence is, uh, floating off into space or something. I don't know what.
Ah, well, she's growing up, ok? What are you gonna do?
Build a time machine. I'm gonna go back in time when she was just a baby, before I met you, to a happy time in my life.
Ok. Good luck with that.
[unamused] You think this is funny, don't you?
[...]
[Lou signals for Steve to pass the phone to him]
Yeah, listen, it gets worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, wait till she asks you to take her bra shopping, huh. Or when the first boyfriend shows up. You're gonna love that. You ain't seen nothing yet, pal, so put on your big-boy pants because Father Time is not your friend.
Will you put Steve back on, please? [Lou passes the phone back to Steve]
Yeah.
Do not, under any circumstances, ever do that to me again.
[shouts into phone] Truth hurts, don't it?
Okay, put him back on.
Okay. [passes phone to Lou]
I'll tell you something else... [Danny hangs up on them]
I can slow down if you, uh, if you can't keep up.
You know, my old man once told me never mistake somebody who's moving fast with somebody who knows where they're going.
Yeah, all due respect, your old man didn't know me. I move fast and I know where I'm going.
[sarcastically] Boy, I wish I was half as good as you think you are. [swats an insect near his ear] Ouch!
[takes a drink from his water bottle] Long way from Chicago, huh?
I know you're not gonna go home, sit in your rocking chair and wait on a call from me, okay? You're gonna be out here making a mess of things, you know? Get in my way, so I figured I'd do myself a favor, right? Save myself the trouble. But you're only half right. Catherine Rollins is on reserve duty. I got Danno on the North Shore, I'm short-handed so I thought about it and figured you were competent enough to tag along.
Competent enough? Well, you ain't exactly Mount Rushmore material yourself, you know.
[sees Lou at the dinner table] What's, uh what's going on here?
What are you talking about?
Well, you know, first you invite him over for Thanksgiving. Then you guys, uh you guys partner up. Now he's in the kitchen cooking chili, watching the game. People are gonna think you two like each other or something.
I don't know. H-He's not that bad.
No?
No, he's not that bad. I mean, he's, uh he's a bit he's a bit thick-headed, but he makes a great chili.
Oh, that's good. So he's like you, but he can cook.
Bruddah, I don't think it's chili unless you have spam in it.
Where I come from, spam is a controlled substance. Eat up.
[John McGarrett eulogizes Kam Tong Kelly]
In Ecclesiastes, we're told to everything there is a season. A time to every purpose under heaven. Time to be born. Time to die. Time to laugh. Time to weep. This is one such time. Kam Tong Kelly was the best man I ever knew. His love of life was exceeded only by his love of family, which everyone here today was a member. A life full of commendations and awards meant nothing to him compared to the pride that he felt when his eldest son, Chin Ho, enrolled in the police academy. It is through him that Kam Tong's legacy continues. A legacy that embraces all of us who were lucky enough to have known him.
[As Roy Parrish holds McGarrett and Danno at gunpoint, they talk about their daughters]
How old's your daughter? Eleven? Twelve? Where were you when she was born? I bet you were right there. You probably held her in your arms and heard her first little cry. Wouldn't be surprised if you cut the cord. You probably did, didn't you? You know where I was?
No.
Max seg, Otter Creek, Wheelwright, Kentucky. By the time I was released, my little girl was already six years old. With my record I was lucky if I could see her a couple hours every weekend. I'd take her to the park and push her on a swing and buy a shaved ice. You know what that's life. I was there every Saturday, no matter what, until I till I went up again. The years kept piling up, one after another. By the time I got out, she wasn't a little girl anymore. Already made up her mind what kind of man I was. I figured that new job I had was my chance to make a little bit of money. Maybe put her in college, do something right for once in my life.
[Roy Parrish's daughter reads one of her father's letters]
I'm still holding out hope that one day you'll read these letters. Because my biggest fear isn't that I'll spend the rest of my life in prison for a crime I didn't do, it's that I'll die in here without getting the chance to tell you how proud I am of you and how much you mean to me. The time we spent together were the happiest moments of my life. And I want you to know that there's nothing that's made me happier than being your daddy.
I've been thinking a lot about our last conversation. How you wanted to know what brought me back to Hawaii. Well, a month ago, I would've told you it was to find the man who killed my father. I realized it was about more than that. I lost somebody. Somebody really close to me. He, um he gave his life to save mine.
What was his name?
His name was Freddie Hart. He was a team guy. We went through BUD/S together. We always had each other's back. He was my brother. More than anything else in this world, Freddie wanted to be a father. That was it. He would've been a great father, too. Anyway, after he died, um the Navy didn't feel the same. When the governor offered me Five-O I jumped at it.
You ran away.
Yeah.
[After Danny kicks up a fuss about Steve arranging for his mom Clara to ride along with Lou without his knowledge.]
Just stop for one second, okay? All I am saying is that a heads-up would've been nice. Okay? That's all.
You're so worked up about this.
Oh, oh, okay, listen, um, I know this may seem like a foreign concept to you, but the idea of my mother being in harm's way-- it does not sit well with me.
You got to give her more credit, Danny. I mean, she survived you.
[deadpan] Ah. You're not a good friend. In fact, you're no longer my friend.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hawaii Five-0 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
