Hawaii Five-0 · Season 1
[Danny and Steve just stopped Kamekona from seeking revenge for the death of his cousin.]
You do this, you're gonna end up in prison, and we do not want that.
I'm touched.
Don't give me a puppy-dog sad eyes, please. You're not off the hook.
You're on house arrest till this I over.
I've got an island to feed, brah.
Okay, then you are on shrimp truck lockdown till otherwise advised. Is that clear?
Like the sweet waters of Hanauma Bay.
Problem?
No.
Then why are you staring at me?
You hired somebody to run surveillance on your mother?
Okay, I know what you're gonna say.
Well, what am I gonna say?
That hiring somebody to spy on their mother is the act of a crazy person.
Uh, yeah, I would've used different words like, uh, "whack job" or "psychopath". "Crazy" works, though. It works.
I had no choice, Danny, okay?
Have you ever tried speaking to your mother like a like a human being, like normal people do?
What am I going to say? "Mom, I know you're running a covert op. What is it?"
Yeah, that would work.
[joins Steve on the couch] Well, I can't believe that you passed up my grandmother's ragù for a beef stew MRE.
I had a craving.
For military rations?
Can you do me a favor and pass me that canteen behind you there, please? [points to the canteen on Catherine's side]
You know what, I got my camo in the car. If you want, I can throw them on and we can play out this whole "trapped in a foxhole" fantasy thing you got going on right now.
[Steve looks at Catherine for a few seconds and they start making out on the couch.]
[Danny and Steve were arguing about which of Peyton Manning or Tom Brady is the better quarterback of their generation]
Look, I think the takeaway is we're living in the new golden age of quarterbacks. We got Brady, Manning, Rodgers, Brees. It's almost an embarrassment of riches.
[pauses] That's a deeply insightful analysis.
I just hate to see you two guys fight.
[looks at Steve] Fight?
This isn't fighting.
So let me get this straight. You're telling me people, they pay good money to get chased around and shot at with a pellet gun?
Everything about these guns is real except for the ammunition they fire. Trust me, those training rounds, they pack more of a punch than you'd think.
I'll take your word for it.
You know what? We should come and do one of these tactical simulations sometime. It's fantastic for team building.
No, no, no. Listen, working with you is harrowing enough, okay? I do not need you hunting me for sport.
You're right. It wouldn't be much of a challenge.
Hi.
Hey.
Hey. What the, uh, what the hell is this?
What, I can't surprise Steve at work?
No, you can do that. I'm talking about the, uh, the jersey.
Oh, oh, well, we moved around a lot when I was a kid, so you know, I never stayed in one place long enough to get tied to a team.
Oh, so you willingly root for the Dallas Cowboys, huh?
Yeah. Come on. Who doesn't like America's team?
I-I don't.
We don't.
And, uh, if I recall correctly, my Redskins humiliated your Cowboys the last time they played.
That's very cute. You got a Cowboys fan dating a Redskins fan. That's like the Capulets and the Montagues.
(chuckles) That's good. I'm gonna give you an A plus for that literary reference.
Oh, you got that? Thanks. Yeah.
But actually, um, I came here with a peace offering for Steve. See, the NFL hooked up my unit with some tickets for the game tomorrow. So, you and I are going to the Pro Bowl. What? (laughs)
I'm already going with Danny.
You're...
We got 50 yard line seats. Best seats in the house.
We got them this morning. I'm sorry.
That's... that's cool. Okay. Um, you know what, my seats are-are pretty good. So I'm sure I can find someone else to take it. It's good.
Yeah.
I'm gonna just let that awkward moment fade out a little bit. We got a bar to go to.
For a case. We're going to a bar for a case.
It's a case. A bar case.
Okay.
Hey, why don't we do some tailgating before the game together? You and me?
Yeah, I would love that. But I don't want to get in the way of your man-date with Danny.
It's not a man date.
[grins] No.
Anyway, Kamekona already invited himself, so it's fine; you're not getting in the way. [smirks and kisses Catherine]
Mmm, that's a three-way bromance. Cute.
[Kamekona, Max and Flipper are in the stands at the Pro Bowl. Max is wearing a Japan national football team jersey.]
You realize this is not that kind of football, right?
I'm being ironic.
[Steve is teaching Kamekona how to fly a helicopter using a flight simulator video game at his house]
Ten-year post-parole plan is working out. I got my shave ice, I got my shrimp, and when I officially open Kamekona's Island Tours, that'll be my entrepreneurial peak. Like King Kamehameha landing on Waikiki, I'll rule Oahu.
[Catherine comes back from a surf sporting a bikini. Kamekona and Steve both look at her]
Aw boys and their toys. How cute.
This ain't no toy, sistah.
That's right. This is the most technologically advanced flight simulator on the market.
Huh. Well, it looks a whole lot like a video game to me.
[Steve and Kamekona turn back to the video game]
[on TV screen, simulator helicopter is about the crash] Oh up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up! What are you doing? Pull up! Pull up! Pull up, up, up, up, - up, up - Oh!
[amused at their reaction] Got two words for you: game over!
If you crash a helicopter full of paying customers, it's not gonna be good for your tour business. You understand?
I was distracted, brah. Sistah came in dressed like that. How am I supposed to not look?
Aw. Kammy, if you hadn't crashed in the middle of the ocean, I might have taken you out for a drink.
That's the beauty of a flight simulator. When you flame out, just hit restart.
[...]
[after he gets called to a case, to Cath] I got to go. See you later?
Hope so.
Don't worry. I'll bring her back in one piece.
Repeat after me: Altitude is my friend.
"Altitude is my friend." Roger that.
Why would a tourist want to be put into a cage and then dunked into shark-infested waters? It makes no sense.
'Cause they're on vacation. You know, they want some some excitement, some adventure.
They need to do therapy.
What I do know is that I do not do not feel comfortable with that man piloting three tons of steel over the town where my daughter lives.
Maybe you'd like to explain to me how your fingerprints ended up on this discarded gas can right by the crime scene.
Eye for an eye. It's in the Bible.
So is, "Thou shalt not kill." You skip that chapter or what?
Hey, my brother was murdered. What, do you expect me to go back to work?
No. We expect you to mourn, and then plan a funeral for your brother. Not go out and try burying more people.
[Steve, Danny and Max are in Kamekona's helicopter flying over the islands. Max suddenly starts singing the Magnum, P.I. theme.]
Hey, hey! What are you doing? You getting a seizure? Stop it.
I just felt the Magnum, P.I. theme was appropriate.
Oh, I used to love that show. Higgy Baby was the man.
I was very fond of Higgins myself. And Commander McGarrett shares the same Navy SEAL lineage as Magnum, and... [looks sheepishly at Danny]
And what? What? I'm not Rick, okay?
Well, everyone can agree that you're Commander McGarrett's humorous sidekick. [Steve chuckles]
And if we're playing this game, it's obvious who I am: the dashing chopper pilot, T.C. [gang hums theme]
[During SEAL training in December 2000, Joe White tempts the recruits about quitting the course, but sees Freddie Hart looking nervous]
[shivers] "I will never quit! I persevere and thrive on adversity! My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies!"
What the hell are you doing, Hart?
Reciting the philosophy of the Navy SEALs, Chief!
No, you don't have what it takes to be a Navy SEAL, Hart. Navy SEAL is a man. A man who will lay down his life. A man who will persevere in the face of adversity. You are two steps below plant life, boy!
[continues reciting] "If knocked down, I will get back up every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength...
[cuts in at "strength"] Words, Hart, meaningless words, to a pantywaist, dribble-chin orangutan like you.
"to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. [after White speaks] I will never fail."
Move out! [recruits start running]
[Steve is telling Catherine about Freddie and flashes back to when he had just stopped Freddie from quitting BUD/S training by ringing the chief's bell, then Joe White ordered them to bearcrawl back to barracks in the rain]
Yeah, it was just me and your old man and a bottle of whiskey. All right, and he opened up to me, started giving me this speech about how a man needs something to believe in, something to fight for. And according to him, there was no greater cause than the United States of America.
He said all that, huh?
Yeah, he did.
Yeah? Okay?
You know what else he said? He said the proudest moment of his life is when you joined up for SEALs.
[present time]
They say every BUD/S class has its surprises. Freddie was ours. After that night, he was unstoppable. He became the best student, the toughest soldier, the guy that everybody could depend on. He never, ever gave up.
I think some of it must have rubbed off on you.
What exactly you drinking there?
That is snake's blood and rice wine.
God's nectar.
It's also an aphrodisiac.
36 hours of lead in your pencil, and doesn't cost $13 a pill.
You know? That's too much information, Frank.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hawaii Five-0 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
