DMr. Dontzig
AAAHH! Two Stewarts! [grabs candy and stuffs it in his pocket] AAAHH! [grabs the whole pot of candy and runs] AAAHH!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
LLuann
Well, that took you long enough to figure that out, Lulu.
LLilly (as Lola)
It's Lola.
LLuann
Whatever! Lilly, Lola, Lulu. You might as well go by "Purple Hair!
[after Luanne gets up on stage] Hey guys, I found her. She's up on stage!
[sarcastically] Good work!
Have no fear ladies. [pulls out small sword] The Masked Musketeer has a plan.
Great! My life is in the hand of Count Chest Hair.
[when he and Miley walk into the party full of hannans] You know, I had a dream like this once. Except the room was filled with Jessica Simpsons and I had more than one chest hair.
And what has all this taught you?
That I should believe my kids when they say their cousins are evil.
And?
That I should always bring my cell phone when I leave the house in case my daughter gets tied up in her closet.
And?
I'm sorry.
C'mon, let's not forget who pulled you out of that well when you were six.
And let's not forget who pushed me in!
Like I've always told you, an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
DMr. Dontzig
Stewart! [comes running into house] Stewart! You gotta help me! Those candy-grabbers are like piranha! They're coming by the busload. It's like someone put an ad in the paper.
The paper? Why, that's way too slow. If somebody wanted to get information out fast, they'd just run down Pacific Coast Highway with a bullhorn.
DMr. Dontzig
You didn't.
[picks up bullhorn] Oh yes I did. Gotcha. [turns to door] Okay kids, come on in, don't be shy.
DMr. Dontzig
Curse you, Stewart! [runs away]
Miley': Dad, what about revenge making the whole world blind?
I was teaching that to you; it's too late for me.
Oh Jake, I bet you say that to all your co-stars, push Jake... I mean... [pushes Jake]
Remember when you used to like cake more than girls?
Yeah...kids!
Oh, just go get some!
Maybe just a taste.
(angrily) Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!
I thought you were graduating!
WWillis
I am!
Elementary school!
Plus it was kind of cool that you did all that just to make me jealous.
Whoa, whoa, slow down ego-boy, why would I try to make you jealous? Besides, you have a girlfriend.
Holly? She's not my girlfriend. We have a movie coming out, so we've been hanging out as a publicity thing.
Why didn't you tell me that before?!
Ah...well...I think I....
Wait a minute...you were trying to make ME jealous.
Was not.
Was too... Admit it, Jake, you like me!
No! You like me- just say it.
No, you say it.
No, you.
No, YOU!
[Jake kisses Miley.]
HHolly
Isn't that your senior boyfriend over there? [points to Willis]
No, that's just some guy who looks like him.
WWillis
I'm King Willis!
And has the same name.
[Willis looks up, sees Miley and waves.]
WWillis
Hi Miley!
And knows me.
Willis drinks it black.
Holly drinks a latte.
Willis shaves.
Holly waxes.
Willis is a senior.
[trying to keep a strait face] Wow...
Toodles!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Hannah Montana pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.