[ending voice over] Why do bad things happen to good people? We ask that question so often, it's become a cliché, but that's because bad things do happen to good people constantly. You just have to hope that when it's your turn, you'll know what to do, how to cope, how to persevere. But the truth is, you don't know how you'll react to your worst-case scenario. None of us do. Not until it happens.
S11 E20One Flight Down
S11 E21How to Save a Life
[opening voice over] When I was five, my mom lost me in a park. I don’t remember much except one minute I was riding the carousel and then the next, she was gone. I don’t remember how I found her. I don’t remember how I got home. All I remember is what happened next. She told me not to worry. She told me everything would be fine. Funny, isn’t it? The way memory works. The things you can’t quite remember, and the things you never forget. The carousel never stops turning.
Okay, Zo-Zo, walk a little faster 'cause we are late. And who can never be late?
Surgeons.
What happens if surgeons are late?
People die.
Right on, sister.
It's a beautiful day to save lives.
WWinnie
What does that mean?
It's just a thing that I say.
Every kiss before the right kiss doesn't count anyway. I've kissed a lot of women. The first time I kissed my wife, well... I mean, she wasn't my wife then. She was just this girl in a bar. And when we kissed, it... it was like... I gotta tell you, it was like I never kissed any other woman before. It was like the first kiss. The right kiss.
WWinnie
Derek?
(thinking) Winnie... You shouldn't be in here.
WWinnie
I know you're not dead. Know how I know? 'Cause I can feel your pulse, which means your heart is beating. Your heart is beating, which means you're not dead, okay? Hey. Eyes on me. You stay not dead, okay? It's a beautiful day to save lives, right? So you stay not dead.
PPaul
Ma'am? I thought that if this was a good time, I might take a moment to explain how this all works.
Where are the papers?
PPaul
Mrs. Shepherd, there's some things you need to know... some things we need to discuss. Difficult things.
I'm a doctor. Dr. Grey. I'm a surgeon, just like my husband was. I know how this works. You've waited the requisite number of hours, and now you can officially declare him dead. Normally, you'd talk to me about organ donation. But by the looks of his chart, there's not much left that works to donate. So, the ICU needs a bed. Those must be the papers... the papers you want me to sign to decide what to do with my husband... Now that he's dead, but not really dead. Do we ship him off to a long-term-care facility and cross our fingers and hope for fairy tales and magic? Or do I pull the plug? And stop all curative intervention? Discontinue all routine monitoring, remove all the catheters, drains, and tubes, end any and all treatments that might provide comfort to the patient. Terminate all life-sustaining measures... and behave as any sane doctor would behave. Does that about cover it, doctor? Is that what you want to talk to me about... while I sit here with my sleeping children? You want to talk about killing my husband? Give me the papers.
PPaul
Ma'am...
Give me the papers!
I'm so sorry. I know that that's useless to you right now. But I am. He saved all those people. And it was my job... to save him. And I failed. And now... He's gonna die... Because I was not a good enough doctor... to keep him alive.
Yeah, you're right. You did fail. You weren't good enough. But do you know what tomorrow is? It's Friday. There's gonna be more patients who come in who need you to save them... someone's mother, someone's kid, someone's husband. They need you to save them because they can't save themselves. So learn from this, better yourself, and you will be better for next time.
What if I'm not?
You will be.
How can you know that?
Because he was your one. Every patient you treat, you're going to see my husband's face and remember that he was the one that died on your watch. He will haunt you. The hard ones always do. And it only takes that one. But that one will make you work harder, and they make you better. Or they make you quit, and you don't get to waste what would have been the rest of my husband's life being a quitter. So get back inside because you're not saving any lives out here.
I really am so...
Yeah, I know. I know.
S11 E22She's Leaving Home (Part 1 and Part 2)
Who died?
Amelia...
I know the face. I've been here before. Everyone thinks they are the first person in the world to ever look at a human being like that, but... It's always the same face. Who is dead?
Derek. It's Derek. I'm so, so sorry. It was an MVC accident, and he wanted to help.
I don't need the details. Dead is dead.
I am so... So sorry. I wish there was something I could...
Thank you for telling me.
Amelia, if there's anything I can...
I'm good. I've done this before. I know the drill. It's not a big deal.
I have a baggie full of black-market oxy in my coat pocket, and I'm trying to decide whether or not to take it. I've got the dead-Derek thing completely managed. I know people were worried. Since he died, everybody's been looking at me, waiting for me to fall apart or freak out or just become a mess. Like some bomb everyone thinks is supposed to go off. My mother was calling three, four times a day. Addison was calling... Everyone. It makes sense. It's natural. Every man I've ever loved has died. Including my baby. Thank you, universe. So, I should be, like... Greek tragedy, turned to stone, bat-crap crazy, but I'm good. I got this. I am fine. I'm telling you, I'm amazing. I am saving lives left and right. I am putting butts in the seats in that OR gallery. I mean, people are fighting to hear me lecture. I am entertaining. Joke, joke, joke! I'm funny! I'm fun! I'm a party! I'm doing... I'm great! I'm handling the dead Derek thing really well.
Okay.
Except today, I yelled at Richard, who was only trying to invite me for coffee, and then I went and scored oxy from this junkie doctor.
But you haven't taken any?
Not yet. But I might. That's the thing. I really actually might. I have been sober for 1,321 days, Owen. I was fine. It was managed. But I might.
All this stuff you're... managing. You're not supposed to be managing it. You're supposed to be feeling it... Grief, loss, pain. It is normal.
It's not normal.
It is. It is normal. It's not normal to you 'cause you've never done it. Instead of feeling it, feeling the grief and the pain, you've shoved it all down and you do drugs instead. Instead of moving through the pain, you run from it. You... Instead of dealing with being hurt and alone and afraid that this horrible, empty feeling is all there is, I run from it. I run off, and I sign up for another tour of active duty. We do these things. We run off, and we... we medicate. We do whatever it takes to cover it up and dull the sensation, but it's not normal. We're supposed to feel. We're supposed to love and hate... And hurt and grieve and break and... Be destroyed and... Rebuild ourselves to be destroyed again. That is human. That is humanity. That's... That's being alive. That's the point. That's the entire point. Don't... don't avoid it. Don't... Extinguish it.
Derek died. He died. I don't want to feel it. I... I don't think I can. I don't think I even want to... I can't. I can't. I can't do this. I can't.
You have to. If you don't...
No, I can't. Shh, I can't do this!
You have to. If you don't, that bag of oxy's not gonna be your last.
(Amelia breaks down in his arms.)
You're gonna be okay. You're gonna survive this, okay? Everybody does. It's perfectly normal. It's boring, even. It's so normal.
I love you too much! It's too much. Okay, my first husband. Okay, if he left, a piece of me always knew that I would be okay, and when he did leave, I was, but you... Ever since Derek died, I sit up in the middle of the night, gasping for air, terrified. I've been having these dreams that something happened to you. So, if something happened... I love you too much. Like, you are a piece of me. I love you. So... I need a plan. I need rules. I need some order, and I had just gotten used to your dumb miracle-man idea, and now you're telling me you want me to pull the plug, and I can't deal with that. I... Just order and, uh, some rules and a plan and some order in the middle of this, 'cause if I have to think about what could happen, it's too much.
I promise... I promise that I will let you die first.
That is so wrong!
Hey, I love you too much, too.
[ending voice over]
EGEllis Grey
I have to believe there's a way. There has to be a way to step off the carousel. Start again. Start fresh. There has to be a way to leave all my ghosts behind. It's a choice. It's a choice I'm making. To move forward. To move past this. I can do that. I can do that.
All I have to do is begin.
S11 E23Time Stops
[opening voice over] Time stops when you’re in the O.R. You step up to the table, you evaluate the patient, you pick up a scalpel, and then you go into a bubble. It’s just you and your surgery and nothing else matters; not time, not pain, not exhaustion, nothing. It happens in real life too. When something big happens, something tragic, you freeze, you retreat into your happy bubble for what seems like a second, until you look up. And suddenly, you realise it's a whole new world.
I'm sorry about leaving the patient there. I didn't want to leave him there, either. And I am sorry for not talking to you about the house.
You don't talk to me about a lot of things.
And you're mad at me for going away, and I am sorry about that.
That's not...
I mean, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't exist. You know, I looked around at that house, and my kids, our kids... I couldn't breathe.
You didn't call me.
I didn't call anyone. I needed time.
I am a neurosurgeon. I could have saved him. And you didn't call me.
Amelia...
Who contacted you first? The police? The paramedics? How far away was the hospital? How long were you sitting there waiting for them to declare him brain-dead? How many hours later was it before I was even informed? How many chances did you have when you could have called me? Why didn't you call me?
There wasn't anything you could've done. He was too far gone.
You don't know that. You don't know.
Yes, I do.
What if I could've helped him? What if I had a chance? I pull off miracles for a living. I have proven that I can reverse the impossible. I should have been there. If I had seen him or treated him...
It was too late. By the time they... It was too late.
How could you do it? How could you unplug him without letting me know? I didn't get to see him. I didn't get to tell him goodbye. I thought you would've at least given me the courtesy and the respect when my own brother was dying. I didn't get to tell him goodbye because of you.
[ending voice over] How do you step back into the world? It’s scary. Time stood still and now it’s speeding by. You’re looking for a lifeboat, something to give you hope. But are you really ready to leave your happy little bubble and step back out into the big, blinding, bloody, terrible world? Are you ready to achieve the impossible?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Grey's Anatomy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.