[to Amelia] Did Mom tell you I went to go see her? She said I was tired and miserable, which I was. Told me to get it together. She said: “Derek, take a good, hard look at your life. If it’s not working, shut up and fix it.”
S11 E18When I Grow Up
Amy, I've been missing out on everything in my life. I mean, I'm watching my kids grow up on a computer. I don't want to miss my family. I don't want to miss another second. I want to coach soccer, go to ballet recitals. I don't need to change the world. Clipping aneurysms, stopping bleeds... that's the fun. That's changing the world with our hands. When did that stop being enough? Saving someone's life? That's more than enough.
I'm glad you're back.
Me too.
I think I'm falling in love with Owen Hunt. And I'm really afraid that it's gonna destroy me.
It wouldn't be love if it didn't.
Ever since you've been back, you guys have been reconnecting. Vigorously. You should have built thicker walls.
You okay?
What do you mean?
I didn't want to ask you, and I'm not supposed to big-brother you. And you don't need me to. There was a robbery, two shootings, and you declared two men dead. I kept thinking about Dad. I wanted to know if you're okay.
I'm happy for you. That you're back. That you're making it work. That you're not running.
What do you mean, "running"?
Hey, I am not judging. We are runners. I ran from my engagement. You ran from Addison. I think, after Dad, if something scares us, we sprint fast as we can. But you turned around this time. That's something. I'm inspired.
[ending voice over] Open your eyes. Take a good look around you. How's the view? Do you like what you see? Think back again to when you were little. Are you living the life you pictured for yourself? Or are you still dreaming of something even bigger?
S11 E19Crazy Love
[opening voice over] Love. Neuroscience tells us it activates the same parts of the brain as habit-forming addiction. It makes us feel like we can do anything, be anything, achieve anything. And once we taste it, we want more.
I'll be back soon. You know that.
I know. I know. I just feel like I just got you back, and now you're going again, and I just have to stay here.
You're right. You do. You have to. Stay here. Don't move. Wait for me.
I moved here to start something, to build a new life. You don't know me... Not really. You don't know where I've been or what I've had to overcome, because you have never had to. You've never lost the love of your life. You have never cried over the body of the person you love most in this world. You... You don't know how that messes a person up. You've never had to claw your way back from that. But I have. I'm still trying to pull myself together, and I am doing the very best that I can, so... Until you've done that, until you've had to walk in my shoes, I need you to cut me some slack... And back the hell off.
Not long after I discovered my ex-husband had been e-mailing another woman, we met for breakfast. That was a big breakfast... Stacks of pancakes, eggs, and all kinds of fancy jams he thought would somehow make it okay that he was e-mailing another woman while he was married to me. Hmm. I remember staring at the butter knife I used to spread my fancy jam, and for half a second, imagined what the side of his neck might look like with the butter knife in it. Fancy jams dripping down the side of his fat, e-mail, cheating neck. Yep, I've been that mad.
I thought Derek was cheating on me, and I got that mad. "Two trauma surgeons and an orthopod" kind of mad.
Hmm. No comment.
You know, cutting off a penis isn't actually that big of a deal. I mean, it's not like he needs it for survival or to think or, like, I don't know, to walk. (they all look at her) What? Hey, it's my leg. And, you know... And for the record, I only thought about maiming you once, Callie, and I told you that the second I thought it.
Thank you?
Look, the difference is, we may think about it, but we don't actually dismember our spouses.
Good to know.
[ending voice over] The thing about love is, when it's good, it's so very good, and when it's bad, it hurts so much. And if you can't find a way to balance all those ups and down, it will make you crazy.
S11 E20One Flight Down
[opening voice over] A surgical residency is all about training for the worst. But, as prepared as we might be, we usually don’t see disaster coming. We can try to envision the worst-case scenario, to foresee catastrophe. But, when true disaster strikes, it often comes out of nowhere. And when the worst really does happen, we find ourselves completely blindsided.
Why didn't you tell me?
Hmm?
About Alex and my leg.
Freaking Karev.
Don't be mad at him.
He's an idiot. I was trying to protect him, but why did he have to...
All this time, you let me hold it against you. I... why?
I made the call. I mean, no matter what, it was still me making the call to take your leg, and I knew that you were going to hate me. I didn't want you to hate Alex, too. I wanted you to have somebody.
Thank you.
Dr. Grey, do you need to be replaced?
No. I'm fine.
No, you're not fine. You're distracted. You and Derek went down in a plane. You drowned. He got shot. You gave birth in a power outage.
Is this supposed to make me feel better?
I'm just saying, you have every reason to be distracted, every reason to think the sky is falling. Do you need to go?
No!
Okay, well, how long can you go without hearing from him before you absolutely go crazy?
I don't know. I... 6:00, 6:30, maybe.
Okay, then, let's say 5:00. At 5:00 P.M., if you haven't heard from him, you can panic. You can call the police, call the paramedics. You can freak out until your little heart's content. But not one minute before and not in this O.R.
(flashback)
You know, remember ages ago, you and I had a really big fight? And I told you, I said, "you're like coming up for fresh air. Like I was drowning, and you saved me." I still feel that way when I see you, what we have, our family. That's the feeling. It's you. It's always been you. And I want more. Of this, of us, of... I want to have more. Let's have more. I mean it.
You're crazy.
That's not a no.
Another baby?
Sure.
Uh, seriously?
I'm completely serious.
So, I've heard you tell this story six different ways today, and each time, the plane seems to be getting closer. I'm pretty sure, the next time it'll end with, "and then I died."
I think you're missing the point here.
I guarantee I am.
Maybe I didn't exactly die back there, but I sure as hell could have. I did look up from my car today. I did see a plane coming toward me. And for a split second, I did find myself thinking, "maybe this is it. This is where it all ends on 37th street between a yarn shop and a falafel stand." I know what a near-death experience is, and this wasn't my first. And it's true. Your life flashes right before your eyes. And this morning, mine did. And suddenly, I saw how much I had. Catherine. This hospital, all of the people I've affected, all the people who've affected me. And let me tell you. It scared the hell out of me. Because the minute you see all the things you have, you see all the things that you stand to lose. Look, maybe I did embellish the story some. I mean, that's human nature, I guess. But right now, I'm taking stock of what I have, and I'm feeling pretty grateful.
This is not about you! Everything isn't about you!
Then what is it?!
There was a plane crash.
Yes.
Not the one today. I'm talking about the plane that had Meredith and Derek and Arizona and Mark and Lexie and... Cristina. I put them on that plane. I signed the requisition for the airline. I paid for it. I was in charge. I don't care how long I've been out of the service. It was my watch, and they were my men. And I failed them. It was my fault. So, when something like this happens today, it brings it all back up. There was a plane crash.
Owen...
And I won't survive another plane crash, Amelia. And that's all we are.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Grey's Anatomy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.