[opening voice over] Picture the life you dreamed of living. The person you pictured being with. Picture the job you dreamed you'd have. Are you living the life you envisioned for yourself? Are you who you wanted to be when you grew up?
“When I Grow Up” · Season 11, Episode 18
In this episode: Meredith Grey (3), Derek Shepherd (3), Amelia Shepherd (2), Maggie (1)
You know those very happy, cheerful people who have everything and when the fact that they have everything comes up, they act very humble and they say, "I'm just so blessed." Those people... you want to punch those people in the face.
Yes. I do know those people.
Yeah, I'm one of those people now.
Okay.
This morning, I was standing on my porch of my perfect house looking in the window at my amazing, perfect children and my amazing, gorgeous husband, on the way to my amazing job. And I thought to myself, "I have everything I've ever wanted. I am just so blessed."
I really wanna pummel your face in right now.
Right, I would beat myself up. Except I'm too tired from...
Were you about to say that you're exhausted from all the great sex you're having?
I am just so blessed.
I'm gonna walk away from you now.
[to Amelia] Did Mom tell you I went to go see her? She said I was tired and miserable, which I was. Told me to get it together. She said: “Derek, take a good, hard look at your life. If it’s not working, shut up and fix it.”
Amy, I've been missing out on everything in my life. I mean, I'm watching my kids grow up on a computer. I don't want to miss my family. I don't want to miss another second. I want to coach soccer, go to ballet recitals. I don't need to change the world. Clipping aneurysms, stopping bleeds... that's the fun. That's changing the world with our hands. When did that stop being enough? Saving someone's life? That's more than enough.
I'm glad you're back.
Me too.
I think I'm falling in love with Owen Hunt. And I'm really afraid that it's gonna destroy me.
It wouldn't be love if it didn't.
Ever since you've been back, you guys have been reconnecting. Vigorously. You should have built thicker walls.
You okay?
What do you mean?
I didn't want to ask you, and I'm not supposed to big-brother you. And you don't need me to. There was a robbery, two shootings, and you declared two men dead. I kept thinking about Dad. I wanted to know if you're okay.
I'm happy for you. That you're back. That you're making it work. That you're not running.
What do you mean, "running"?
Hey, I am not judging. We are runners. I ran from my engagement. You ran from Addison. I think, after Dad, if something scares us, we sprint fast as we can. But you turned around this time. That's something. I'm inspired.
[ending voice over] Open your eyes. Take a good look around you. How's the view? Do you like what you see? Think back again to when you were little. Are you living the life you pictured for yourself? Or are you still dreaming of something even bigger?
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