You know Sam's wife took care of him after his last two surgeries, she died of a stroke last year. His son Jason dropped out of college one semester before graduating and he was--
No, it's not. Not anymore. My job is to open him up and to fix him. And if I can't do it, no one's gonna do it for me. It's on me. So I can spend time talking to him or I can use that time figuring out what I'm gonna do after I open him up. Which one do you want me to do?
April
You're really nervous. That's why you didn't wanna work on a kid today. Look, you'll be fine. You're ready. I mean, you feel ready, right? [Alex nods]
Okay, I get that you like to put your dirty clothes in my laundry because, frankly, if you didn't you'd never have any clean clothes. Fine. I will wash your dirty underpants. But you know what? I am not okay with washing your "skank of the week's" dirty underpants.
What the chief doesn't realize is that a lot of the work I do makes it possible for these surgeries to take place. I mean all the staffing and scheduling, I mean, so maybe, okay, maybe I'm not in the O.R. all the time but I--
Then stop being a whiner. Stop hiding behind paperwork. If you love it, do it. Just get into the O.R, okay? Don't sleep, don't eat, just... do this. [hands her the drill] Here.
Oh, boohoo, poor April didn't pass her test. Big whoop, okay? I got fired from chief resident, and then I got fired from this hospital. Oh, my husband cheated on me-
[seriously] And then he died. So I didn't think I was ever gonna be happy again. But now? My life is pretty damn great. So, you're having a rough time. It's, nothing! It's a blip! And in the meantime, you're missing your moment! You survived residency! Stop, and celebrate that. Cause life? Changes in an instant. Turns on a dime. One minute you're miserable, and then the next, you've met the most amazing woman in the world, and are in love. This moment, your moment, it only happens once. [turns to walk away] Oh, and the duck is freakin' amazing. [slaps Alex's chips to the floor]
Yeah. ... I feel sick, by the way. Sick to leave here, to leave you. But, uh, I'm glad-- I'm glad you're so friggin' happy about it.
April
I'm not. I'm not happy with any of it. I'm not happy that everything I thought I was turns out not to be true. Um, I'm not a board certified surgeon. I'm not a virgin. I'm not a good Christian. I don't know what I am, but I know I'm not happy. I loved having sex with you. You made me feel things... You changed me, Jackson. And I loved that. But I hate that I'm not a virgin for the man I'm gonna marry. [voice breaking] I'm not freakin' happy about that. And I'm really not happy that you feel bad about it, 'cause you're my best friend. But you know what? Torres is right. My problems will still be my problems tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. And in a few weeks, my best friend will be at Tulane, and I may never see him again, so... For one night, I'm just gonna forget all about that. And I'm gonna try. I'm gonna try to be happy. I'm happy tonight. I am gonna be happy, Jackson. 'Cause this is a happy time, and we should be celebrating, okay? So can you please just wipe that freakin' frown off your face and be happy with me?
April, April, Jackson is like a cookie. [holds up cookie in front of April's face] People want to lose weight, they don't eat the cookie. But then they get so hung up on not having the cookie that their whole life is about the cookie.
[chuckles] No, it's not. It's child abuse. But Callie keeps shooting down all the cute names I suggest so my new strategy is to bury the cute names in a sea of terrible ones.
So, I've heard you tell this story six different ways today, and each time, the plane seems to be getting closer. I'm pretty sure, the next time it'll end with, "and then I died."
Maybe I didn't exactly die back there, but I sure as hell could have. I did look up from my car today. I did see a plane coming toward me. And for a split second, I did find myself thinking, "maybe this is it. This is where it all ends on 37th street between a yarn shop and a falafel stand." I know what a near-death experience is, and this wasn't my first. And it's true. Your life flashes right before your eyes. And this morning, mine did. And suddenly, I saw how much I had. Catherine. This hospital, all of the people I've affected, all the people who've affected me. And let me tell you. It scared the hell out of me. Because the minute you see all the things you have, you see all the things that you stand to lose. Look, maybe I did embellish the story some. I mean, that's human nature, I guess. But right now, I'm taking stock of what I have, and I'm feeling pretty grateful.
God, I felt like I could talk to him forever. He made me feel like... you know, I never really believed that I'd find love again. Not anything real or true. I thought that I had it and I screwed it up, and that was over. Then he was madly in love at 85, and that is proof that there is... there is more love out there. Callie might've found hers and I can find mine, even if it's in 60 years.
April
[crying] I don't want to find a new soul mate when I'm 90! I met mine already and he wants a divorce.
I want to end where we began, in a bed, in love, and I just want to keep us there for a minute. And anything you say right now is gonna ruin it, so please just don't!
April, you're always deciding! You decide to go to Jordan. You decide to leave. You decide to stay. You decide you need me, then you decide you don't. You decide we can talk. You decide we cannot.
April
I don't want to talk because I know what you're gonna say! You're gonna say you love me but...
Grey's Anatomy · 1,393 quotes
April
