Izzie Stevens quotes from Grey's Anatomy

Meredith

Derek had a woman in his trailer last night. She was ugly. Very ugly. Except she was tall and beautiful and he was naked.

George

Oh. Uh, McDreamy was doing the McNasty with a McHottie? That McBastard.

Izzie

[to Meredith] McDreamy's sister is McBitchy.

Meredith

Derek's camping. Taking time. Getting space.

Cristina

Prestons do not go into the woods. A guy named Preston is gonna get his ass kicked by a squirrel.

Izzie

It's basically a slumber party, they do it outside, we do it inside. That's really the only difference.

Izzie

VATER syndrome is a genetic condition that affects the vertebrae, anus, trachea, esophagus and renal system.

Heather

Wow, give this girl a medal. She memorized the whole acronym, which I assure you is a hell of a lot easier than living with it.

Meredith

Oh, you have got to be kidding me? Where is George?

Derek

[groggily] Spent the night at the hospital.

Meredith

And you slept in his bed! All night?

Derek

No, right after you fell asleep.

Meredith

So you're telling me that my snoring is so bad, how did you deal with it for all those nights before I found out about your wife?

Izzie

[walks past] He usually sleeps on the couch, sets an alarm, gets back in bed before you wake up.

Derek

Yeah, didn't want to hurt your feelings.

Meredith

Oh, I'm going to do more than hurt your feelings. [smacks Derek with a pillow]

Bailey

You spent 300 grand, so you could scrub in on the surgery?

Izzie

No?

Bailey

No?

Izzie

I... I spent the 3- Have you seen that girl? Her life is miserable. She's desperate. She, she'll never have a date. She'll never wear high heels. She'll never feel normal. I, I spent 300 grand because it's a good thing.

Bailey

[long pause] I was hoping you would tell me you spent the money so you could scrub in.

Izzie

George has turned into a sex machine. Are you hearing me? A machine of sex! We have to do something. What's wrong with you people?

Meredith

Derek kept me up all night with his ranting. Cristina and Burke still are not speaking to each other.

Cristina

Okay, you know what? I'm fine. I mean I'm just not going to be the first one talking. I mean, he has to talk because I'm in the right. Talking first is for losers, I'm winning.

Meredith

Plus she's starving because he won't cook for her, and that makes her a little crazy. And Alex. I don't know what's wrong with Alex.

Alex

I'm good. I'm all good.

Izzie

Hey! It's the little woman. So what are your plans now? You're not moving in, are you?

Callie

Nice.

George

Wait, Callie.

Callie

Forget it.

George

No. Unbelievable. People, you're supposed to be my friends. My closest friends. Callie is a big - She's the most important part of my life now. If you wanna drive her away, and you're masters at it, you'll do it. But if she's gone, I'm gone. She's my wife. Calliope Iphigenia Torres is my wife. [Izzie starts to laugh at Callie's name] Don't you dare.

Izzie

Okay.

Cristina

[after finding out about Meredith] It's Meredith?

Alex

Yeah.

Cristina

Are you sure? Did you see her? Because it could be...

Alex

[grabs her arm] It's Meredith.

Cristina

Oh. [sees Derek crying in hall] Oh. Oh.

Izzie

She will come through this.

George

You don't know that.

Izzie

She will come through this.

George

People die.

Izzie

I know people die. People die in front of us every day. But I believe Meredith will survive this. I believe - I believe - I believe in the good. I believe that it's been a hell of a year, and I believe that in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, we will all be okay. I believe a lot of things. I believe that - I believe that Denny is always with me. And I believe that if I eat a tub of butter and no one sees me, then calories don't count. And I believe that surgeons who prefer staples over stitches are just lazy. [to George] And I believe that you are a man who made a terrible mistake marrying Callie. And I believe that because I am your best friend, I can tell you this and we can be okay. I believe that even though you made this mistake, you will be okay. I believe we survive, George. I believe that believing we survive is what makes us survive.

Izzie

Alex is moving in?! To this house?!

Meredith

He's taking George's room.

Izzie

Why?

Derek

I was asleep just a minute ago.

Izzie

Uh! And I was naked in the bathroom when Alex walked in. I'm lucky I didn't come out of the shower to find him peeing all over the seat.

Derek

And we're up.

Izzie

I mean, how do you know that it didn't feel so right, because it's God's plan?

Addison

God wants you to be an adulterer?

Izzie

God got a virgin pregnant by magic. God is not playing by the rules.

Meredith

Talk about divine retribution.

Izzie

What?

Meredith

He sleeps with his assistant, and a carnivorous fish lodges itself in his penis, that's instant karma if I've ever seen it.

Cristina

Yeah, well, Derek wasn't struck by lightning and neither were you.

Meredith

Addison showed up, I had months of pain and self-loathing, crazy ranting mother and a near drowning off the side of a dock. I mean, it's no fish in my hoo-hoo, but it's certainly not an easy ride.

Cristina

Yeah, well, I've cheated on my boyfriends and I'm fine. I mean am I the only one?

Burke

Cristina; I could promise to hold you, and to cherish you. I could promise to be there in sickness and in health. I could say 'til death do us part', but I won't. Those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope. And I do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope.

Addison

Okay, um...

Burke

I am not optimistic, I am not hopeful. I am sure. I am steady. And I know I am a heart man, take them apart, put them back together. I hold them in my hands. I am a heart man. So this, I am sure. You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend. My heart, my heart, beats for you. And on this day, the day of our wedding, I promise you this. I promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. I promise you, me.

Burke

Too trite? Because I can rewrite it.

Izzie

No, no it's...

Addison

I think I speak for every woman in this room when I say... dump her. Dump Yang and marry me. [They all laugh.]

Cristina

[to new interns] I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not gonna change.

Izzie

Traumas protocol, phone lists, pagers. The nurses will page you, you answer every page at a run. A run. That's rule number two. [notices the interns are not following her] You're supposed to follow me.

Alex

The first shift starts now and lasts 36 hours. You're grunts, nobodies, the bottom of the surgical food chain. You run labs, write orders, and you work every second night until you drop. And you don't complain.

Meredith

On call rooms. Sleep when you can, where you can. You know, but not with anybody. Not attendings, especially not attendings. Sleeping with attendings, not a good idea. Where was I?

George

Er, rule number three. If you're sleeping, do not wake you unless the patient's actually dying.

Cristina

The dying patient better not be dead when I get there, because not only will you have killed someone, you will have woken me for no good reason. Are we clear? [Lexie raises her hand] Yes?

Lexie

That was four rules. You said five.

Cristina

Rule number five. When I move, you move. [awkward pause as nobody moves] Go! [Cristina's interns scramble off]

Izzie

[Meredith is emptying the contents of an urn into a plastic bag] What is that?

Meredith

My mother.

Alex

Happy freaking Halloween.

Cristina

[about a bag of ashes] What are we looking at?

Izzie

Meredith put her Mom in a baggie and brought her to work.

Meredith

I had to get her out of my closet, she was haunting me.

Alex

And now she's haunting us all.