“The Opposition” · Season 2
In this episode: Xander Crews (8), Camera Man (5), Xtacle (2), Wendell (1), Cameraman (1)
(To Camera-man) Hey! Isn't that rival documentarian Michael Moore's fat ass?
what? where?
just, look... Just, Point the camera over there.
Huh?
[The camera goes to the side. A gunshot is heard. The camera goes back.]
Cheese and rice, he shot himself! [There is a pause.] With my gun somehow.
Excuse me!
[Camera zooms in on Xander, standing in the street, with a see-through pink shirt, and pink shorts. There is a pause.]
.....What?!
Well, it's been a year now-
A Year?! It's really been a whole year? What's today?
Thursday.
Oh my God, it has been a year.
Why couldn't you go to your girlfriend?
[Clip shows, of Grace Ryan standing outside her door with a pie.]
If I wanted to be smothered to death, I'd go back to the Xcalibur and fess up. If I go back to the Xcalibur and fess up, I'll be smothered to death. That's in our Charter.
This is a documentary about Killface.
Killfa-[Scoffs]-is it called Check Me Out, I Suck? Guk-guk-guk [deapthroating sounds]
Can you even be gay for a robot? [in robot tone] Beep-beep, I am a gay-bot!
..Y-..you think we're robots?!
[in robot tone] May I offer you a robot blowjob?
..this-this is just armor! [clanks helmet]
Power down gay robot; that is an an earthman order!
Okay...
[Xtacle takes off helmet, revealing a human head.]
[Gasp]
Yeah, you see?
You look.. so... real!
[exhasperated sigh]
So, what's this whole movie deal about Killface?
Actually, he's running for president.
He's what?! How?!
Yeah, cause when he activated the Anihalatrix, he cured Global Warming.
Wait, no, I turned it on!
Well, he says he did.
Son of a BITCH!
Yeah, so do cabs ever come by here?
Well, you know what? If he's running for President, then so am I!
Well, it takes, like, tons and tons of money to run for president.
[Holds up check containing his billions.] Well, is that enough? Ka-kow!
Hey, when did you get the check back?
Oh, just right after that whole incident with it blowing away.
[Flashback, Xander comes down from Annihilatrix in elevator]
Yeah, have fun getting the shit stomped outta you by the Xtacles when I go back to my house to get my Awesome X gear from that hooker who was living there the last time I... [check blows into his face] ...checked.
Apparently, it's been here the whole time...SUCKERS!!
Can you even be gay for a robot? [in robot tone] Beep-beep, I am a gay-bot!
..Y-..you think we're robots?!
[in robot tone] May I offer you a robot blowjob?
..this-this is just armor! [clanks helmet]
Power down gay robot; that is an an earthman order!
Okay, hang on...
[Xtacle takes off helmet, revealing a human head.]
[Gasp]
Oh my... god...
That's what I've been saying.
You look.. so... real!
[exhasperated sigh] Look-
Can I... touch you?
Kinda prefer you didn't.
Just be still.
No, hey, come on!
Feel my touch.
[Xander sucker punches the Xtacle in the face, knocking him unconscious]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frisky Dingo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
