“Blind Faith” · Season 1
In this episode: Xander Crews (5), Killface (2), Stan (1), Grace (1), Antagone (1)
[rapidly, holding stolen gems] Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.
Grace! Open the damn door, it's Xander!
[tone of Antagone, eyes glowing green] Xander Crews?
Yes, idiot!
[Grace/Antagone growls]
[Antagone opens door]
Xander Hey fun bags where's my idiot girlfriend?
[Xander gets knocked out]
And for your information managing a workforce the size of the X-tacles is...
Yeah.
Like, that takes management skills.
It Does.
So your superpower is... management? Baffling.
You're a bitch.
Hi Funbags, I'm Xander. Where's my idiot girlfriend?
Hi-yah! [Punches Xander, sending him flying out to the car] Grace Ryan is dead, and now you, Xander Crews, shall join her in...being dead!
Who even are you?
My name is Antagone!
Really?
Now then, I've usurped Crews' company, usurped his alter ego, and...where are we on my date with Ms. Ryan?
Harumph.
Well, keep trying. If the situation keeps trending so positively, I...[starts stroking himself] Yes, the sap is definitely rising, and damned if anyone's going to destroy the Earth and spoil all my fun.
[blind] I'm quite sure it was a twenty!
Dude, it's a ten.
Oh, is that how you pay for the benzoyl peroxide I smell steaming off your greasy face?
It's gone! It's all gone! The billionaire money is gone, the superhero stuff and the X-tacle fighting force is also gone, and the girlfriend is gone, and even the nerds now are gone, and I got nobody to help me! Might as well be David Arquette!
[Xander has hit the blind Killface with his car] Hey, hey, no no man, don't move, man. I think you got a concussion.
Ow! What happened?
Hit... hit... hit... and... and they ran... hit and run, plateless gang car.
Oh! On a blind man! Crap! Yes, riding dirty, no doubt... With their... Bubba Kush. Well I, sir, am Killface. And you are in my debt... I'm in your debt.
Yeah, you have a house.
Yes, let's go to my house. take Naps. Where's my food?
Yeah, here...
My head... kills.
Um... this is actually just full of rocks.
Oh, that guy!
Yeah. [Laughs] ChickParm does that to blind people all the time.
Oh, I hate them!
Yeah, my girlfriend even did a thing on the news about it-
Is your girlfriend on the news?
My... what?
Grace Ryan? Wait a minute. Who are you? Shhhhh. You smell that? I smell crickets.
We should go to your house.
Yes, let's go to my house. Take naps. And y... what's your name? I don't even know your name.
Um... uh... mmm... Barnaby Jones.
[Beat] Barnaby Jones!
Yeah.
[Singing] People, let me tell ya 'bout my new best friend, Barnaby Jones! [Long pause] ...Nap.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frisky Dingo pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
