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S9 E5

Friends · Season 9, Episode 5

“The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner” quotes from Friends

3 quotes

“The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner” · Season 9, Episode 5

In this episode: Ross Geller (2), Rachel Green (1), Phoebe Buffay (1), Judy Geller (1)

[Ross and Rachel are locked out of the apartment, with baby Emma inside.]

Oh, no! What if she jumps out the of the basinet!

Can't hold her own head up... but yeah, jumped.

Oh, my...! I left the water running!

Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please just...just pull yourself together okay?

Did I leave the stove on?

You haven't cooked since 1996!

Is the window open? Because if the window's open, a bird could fly in there and --

Oh, my, you know what, I think you're right! I think -- you know what? Listen, listen: a pigeon... no, no, wait, an eagle flew in, landed on the stove, and caught fire! The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid! The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons! Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water! Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death-grip, swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment!

[beat] Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.

Pick up the sock, pick up the sock, PICK UP THE SOOOOOOOOOCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!! [Her friends stare at her, scared] I'm sorry, was that rude? Di-di-did my little "outburst" blunt the HIDEOUSNESS that is this evening?!

I understand separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset he took off his clothes tucked his "willy" in between his legs and cried out "mommy I'm a girl take me with you".

Somehow it became easier to be apart from you.

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