“The Train Job” quotes from Firefly

You know, your coat is kinda a brownish color...

Mal

It was on sale. [Calmly sips his drink]

You didn't toast. You know, I'm thinkin' you one of 'em In'e'pen'ents.

Mal

And I'm thinkin' you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling. So why don't we just ignore each other until we go away?

The In'e'pen'ents were a bunch of cowardly, inbred piss-pots. Should've been killed off of every world spinnin'.

Mal

[Turns] Say that to my face.

I said you're a coward and a piss-pot. Now what are you gonna do about it?

Mal

[Smiling] Nothing. I just wanted you to face me so she could get behind you.

Mal

Drunks are so cute.

Wash

[Over intercom to Lund and other Alliance supporters] Every man there go back inside, or we will blow a new crater in this little moon.

Mal

[To Shepherd Book] Shouldn't you be off bringing religiosity to the fuzzy-wuzzies or some such?

Book

Oh, I've got heathens aplenty right here.

Inara

Physical appearance doesn't matter so terribly. You look for compatibility of spirit. There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide.You try to feel that —

Mal

[Entering Inara's shuttle] And then you try to feel the energy of their credit account, it has a sort of...aura...

Inara

What did I say to you about barging into my shuttle?

Mal

That it was manly and impulsive?

Inara

Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was, "Don't."

Mal

Well, you're holding my mechanic in thrall. And Kaylee! What the hell is goin' on in the engine room? Were there monkeys? Some terrifying space monkeys maybe got loose?

Mal

I'm not sure you'd be safe.

Inara

Mal, if you're being a gentleman, I may die of shock.

Mal

Hm. [Bows and leaves, then reenters] Have you got time to do my hair?

Inara

[Sternly] Out.

Zoe

Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing.

Mal

Hell, this job I would pull for free.

Zoe

Then can I have your share?

Mal

No!

Zoe

If you die can I have your share?

Mal

Yes.

Jayne

You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here! Now we're finishing this deal, and then maybe, maybe we'll come back for those morons... got themselves caught... and you can't change that by getting all... bendy.

Wash

All what?

Jayne

You got the light... from the console to keep you... lifting you up... they shine like... [Starts grabbing at the air] little angels...

Wash

Did he just go crazy and fall asleep?

Simon

I told him to sit down.

Mal

Nice shot.

Jayne

[Slurred] I was aimin' for his head.

You were truthful back in town. These are tough times. A man can get a job, he might not look too close at what that job is. But a man learns all the details of a situation like ours... well... then he has a choice.

Mal

I don't believe he does.

Mal

Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance. You give it back to him, tell him the job didn't work out. We're not thieves... well, we are thieves, but the point is we're not taking what's his. We'll stay out of his way as best we can from here on in. You'll explain that's best for everyone, okay?

[Stands up] Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn't matter where you go, or how far you fly, I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade.

Mal

Darn. [Kicks Crow into Serenity's engine intake]

Mal

Now this is all the money Niska gave us in advance—

Oh, I get it! I'm good. Best thing for everybody. [Desperate grin] I'm right there with you.