LRLacey Rivers
So why are you here?
I killed my husband. Stabbed him in the chest six times.
S1Help Me, Rhonda
S1The Clinic
[in a doctor's uniform] Everyone wants to believe that they are going to live forever – that that tremor in their heart, the few extra pounds added over the holidays and the labored breathing after a morning run are all perfectly normal. [chuckles] But what happens when you find out they're not? What happens when you realize the life that you've been leading has an expiration date? What would you do to change that? Would you make the same choice that Logan Cale is about to make? And at what price?
They say home is where the heart is, and unfortunately, for Logan Cale, this was all too true, proving you can truly buy anything for the right price. And if there's a moral to tonight's story and you find yourself sick and bedridden and might need to resort to desperate measures for a cure, I make this very humble suggestion: get a second opinion.
S1Till Death Do Us Part
[in a one-piece swimsuit and sarong with a flower in her hair and a Hawaiian tropical drink in her hand] Aloha! I see you've met Rachel Worth. Poor thing. Can you believe it's her wedding day? Certainly not a very auspicious start. A bride needs something borrowed, something blue, but certainly not something dead. I guess the silver lining in all of this is the corpse is not the man she's planning to marry. But with her ceremony on a private beach near Waikiki looming in six hours, she best fix this little hiccup that's threatening her big day. [puts down her drink and walks up the steps to the top of a diving rock overlooking a swimming pool] Otherwise, there could very well be a whole new meaning to the phrase, "Till death do us part". [takes off her sarong, dives into the water and swims]
RWRachel Worth
We have to postpone the wedding.
CCam
No.
RRachel
Cam, we have no choice.
CCam
We're doing it. Just as we planned. Today.
RRachel
Why?
CCam
Because I have to be married by the time I'm 30.
RRachel
Sweetie, no, you don't.
CCam
When my grandmother died, she left me a $10 million trust fund. But there was a catch. She stipulated that I have to be married by my 30th birthday or I don't get the money.
RRachel
But why would she do something like that?
CCam
Gram was around long enough to see me go through my wild period. Let's just say she didn't exactly approve. She wanted me to settle down and make something of myself, which I did. Just after, she was gone. But there's still that clause in the will that I need to adhere to.
RRachel
Why didn't you tell me?
CCam
I was going to. I just... I didn't want you to think I was marrying you just so I can get my hands on the money. I'm marrying you because I love you, Rachel.
SSharon
Okay, that's really sweet, but what I wanna know is, what happens to the money if you don't get married?
RRachel
Kim. Oh, my God. It was you. You hired the stripper. And you made my first drink. You spiked it, which is why I was so out of it and can't remember anything! And someone would've had to record it. You actually made moans to make it look like it was actually happening, like I was awake and I was enjoying it?! And you were gonna to email it to Cam so he'd call off the wedding. And you would be next in line for the trust fund.
CCam
Kim, did you really murder this poor guy?
KKim
Poor guy? Poor guy? Oh, come on, Cam. Get off your high horse. Poor guy. He was just some sleazy stripper. Anyways, it was his own fault. No one was supposed to get hurt. But the bastard got greedy. He demanded half of the money, threatened to expose me to you and Rachel. So I just agreed to shut him up. But come on. I wasn't just gonna hand over $5 million to some lame fireman. So I made him the special cocktail that I made Rachel, and I kept him busy until it took effect. And I could handle this problem once and for all. But it turned out to be a much better plan than I anticipated. Because cheating is one thing, but accidentally killing a trick while making love the night before your wedding? Well, there's just no way that Cam was ever gonna say "I do". Not to her.
RRachel
No wonder you wanted to call the cops! You knew it looked bad for me.
KKim
I did what I had to do! I mean, we're talking $10 million here! It's not fair! Okay? I was the good girl! I went to Nana's house every Sunday! I remembered her birthdays; he didn't! I was the one that got straight A's! I was the good girl! But the bitch left it all to him! Thought he could change! But it wasn't the money that changed him, Rachel. It was you.
RRachel
Your little Frederick's of Hollywood number – was it preshrunk?
KKim
No.
[Rachel picks up a lemonade pitcher and dumps lemonade on Kim's head]
RRachel
Worst maid of honor ever.
[still in her one-piece swimsuit and refreshed from swimming, her hair wet and her hand gently stroking the water] It's been said it's bad luck for a bride and groom to see each other before the wedding. Although, after the day they've had, I don't blame Rachel or Cam for throwing caution to the wind. As for lessons learned, it's an age-old question for women: Do you marry for love or for money? [chuckles] Luckily, though, for Rachel Worth, today she doesn't have to choose. Mahalo.
S1Visions, Part 1
[in a magician's costume] Mentalism is a performing art whose practitioners demonstrate highly developed mental and intuitive abilities such as telepathy, clairvoyance and mind control. Foster Prentiss, the Amazing Mysterium, possesses no such skill. He is a complete and utter fraud. Unfortunately, there's nothing phony about murder. Foster will stop at nothing to get what he wants and must put on a performance of a lifetime. But maybe this time, the ruse is on him.
[Foster Prentiss hears a loud splash and he goes outside to investigate, only to find Jessica, in a black one-piece swimsuit, swimming in a pool]
Can I help you?
I think we can help each other. I hear you're looking for a new assistant. I've seen your act. You're very good. But you could be great with the right help.
Yeah, I'm not looking for any help. Thank you.
I look fabulous in fishnets, and even better without them. Won't you consider letting me audition, or at least fetching me that towel?
[Foster Prentiss laughs. Several minutes later, Jessica is seducing Prentiss in bed]
By the way, my name is Jessica.
Pleased to meet you, Jessica. [laughs]
[Foster Prentiss is stunned by the realization of what Violet MacReady did at the Cuesta Verde Hospital]
I don't know how this can be happening to me! I saw her! I saw what she did and I saw her kill a guy! She knows that I know. She knows I know. What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do now? [yells at the top of his lungs] You just tell me what– [Jessica strikes Foster in the face] Bloody hell! You hit me?! Jeez, are you crazy?!!
Calm the hell down! Nobody killed anybody. You didn't see anything. That was incredible! Whatever hell scam you're pulling is working! Did you see their faces out there? They're eating it up.
Yeah – no, no, it wasn't a scam. What I felt out there was real.
Sure it was. But now... you gotta keep your eye on the prize. If we're gonna score any of that rich bitch's cash, she needs to believe that you can talk to her dead daughter. So get out there and finish the damn show.
Okay, okay. Yeah, okay.
So the man you apparently saw is Jay Roma. He started Crazy Chixx. He was murdered a few months back, and his death was streamed on the Internet.
Why is this happening to me, though? That's what I don't understand.
The other tart is Violet MacReady. She is a person of interest in two recent killings: one of a local, prestigious surgeon; the other – some two-bit gangbanger.
You know, I never thought this was possible. Why have I been given such a powerful gift?
The question you should be asking yourself... is, how can we exploit it?
Exploit it?!
Jeez! Do I have to spell everything out to you? Blackmail. You're already a fraud. What's another sin, or three?
You don't believe me, do you?
[takes Foster's hand and holds it up to her face] Do you see anything interesting, swami?
[after receiving visions of what Jessica recently did, finally realizes the truth] You killed your boyfriend, set him up and sold his organs for spare parts!
How did you...?! No one knows about that.
I told you, the visions are real, Jessica.
You know what, Foster? I think we're gonna be really, really rich.
S1Visions, Part 2
Firstly, of course, I would like to apologize for keeping you waiting so long. But I bet you're wondering what you're both doing here, right?
VMViolet MacReady
No kidding, Sherlock.
Well... you do have a temper on you, don't you? See, I invited you both here to give you a chance to move on with the rest of your life.
I'm so gone. [starts to leave]
[stops Tiffany from leaving] Shut up and listen.
Yeah, I think you should listen to her. Or, of course, I could just call the authorities and tell them about Jay Roma.
Who?
Don't be coy, darling. The world may not miss a smut peddler like that, but it still won't get you off with the cops. [turns to Violet] And you, Violet. You're not as sweet and innocent as you look, are you?
Ooh, someone messed with the wrong nurse. Eh, chica?
How do you know all this?
Because I'm the Amazing Mysterium! And I know all.
What do you want with us, Mr. Amazing?
What do I want? What could I possibly want? What could I want? How about... money! That's exactly what I want.
Well, you better take another look into your crystal ball, because I'm not an ATM. I'm broke.
And I'm still trying to pay off my student loans.
So you've got the wrong chica, ese.
[slams the table with his hand] Well, then you better find some money fast!! Both of you got 48 hours or the next time you sit down with somebody, it'll be with a public defender! [calms down] Why don't you just think about it a little bit, OK? Good afternoon, ladies. I hope you enjoy the show.
We haven't formally met. Tiffany.
Violet.
You've got incredible eyes, Violet.
Thanks. Nice dress, Wilma Flintstone. So, did you really kill that dirtbag Jay Roma?
Yeah.
Do you regret it?
Not for a minute.
I think we're going to get along swell.
BFFs.
Don't push it.
How'd you get this way?
What way?
You know what I'm talking about. We're one and the same, Violet. You weren't always like this. What happened?
I had a really bad day.
So, I've got a question, and you totally don't have to answer it if you don't want to. But what are you gonna do?
You are going to make Foster Prentiss pay for what he did. That is what you are going to do.
I know you.
Well, I don't. How'd you get in here?
I go by many names, but you can call me Lilith.
Are you getting blackmailed, too?
No. But we have so much in common.
We were all blessed with great hair?
Men in our pasts have wronged us.
What's this all about?
It's very simple, actually. Foster Prentiss killed a girl once. And now you are going to kill Foster Prentiss. And in exchange for this task, you will never have to worry about anyone finding out your secrets again. You will be truly safe. And why the sad faces, girls? It's not like you haven't killed before.
So, what's one more dead jerk, right?
Exactly.
Why don't you kill him, then?
And not share the fun? [snaps her fingers and the doors open] Oh. You forgot to thank me for those tickets to the show. It's not like they arrived by magic, you know. Ta-ta!
So what do we do now?
I've got an idea, chica.
Anything?
The only thing I can tell you about Lilith is that according to Jewish folklore, she left her husband, Adam, after she refused to become subservient to him. Although... Dr. Holly Brown writes: "The demonization of Lilith was designed to keep women alienated from their own power and spiritual authority." Now that's what I call girl power.
She was a demon?
She's Jewish?
I don't know who this chick is, but it's obvious she knows way too much about us.
Lilith isn't the problem. Foster Prentiss is.
Not for long.
I don't usually go around killing random dudes without a really good reason.
The jerk threatened you. He's trying to extort you. He's obviously a total sleaze. What choice do you have?
What choice do we have?
[Alexis giggles]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Femme Fatales pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.