Welcome to The Hot House, where six celebrities with, shall we say, complicated histories live together in peace and harmony and resolve their issues like intelligent adults. Oh, that doesn't sound like much fun, does it? Perhaps rats on a sinking ship would be a much more accurate metaphor? Rats without access to cell phones or the Internet. No windows, and all the doors sealed shut, under lock and key, as it were. And we, the lucky viewers, get to watch them interact 24-7, as they try and figure out their, oh, so fascinating dilemmas. Unlike some other Reality TV shows, no one in this house was meant to get voted off. However, in the end, most of them did get eliminated. Where did it all go wrong? Perhaps we should start by meeting our housemates. Tina Hendricks. Famous for, well, being famous. Her father runs a movie studio, so she has access to all the A-list parties. Her line of face creams and body scrubs, Tina's Essence, was selling well, but her true claim to fame was – oh, you guessed it. A love tape. Lucky Starr. Cute, isn't he? With a velvet voice to go with that adorable face. Third runner up on Superstar USA. Lucky's debut album dropped last Spring, then kept on dropping to the bottom of the charts. Rumor has it Lucky was the one who leaked his one-night stand with Tina online. A guy's gotta do what he can to stay in the public eye. Roger Reynolds, star of another popular reality show called The Catch. Roger caused quite a scandal when he proposed to not one, but two women in the show's finale. And no, he's not Mormon, just indecisive. Roger was engaged again, three weeks later, to Tina. But they're no longer together. Bebe. No last name; just Bebe. She's our resident party girl. Mouthy, obnoxious, and rarely sober. In other words, a hero to millions with more Twitter followers than Charlie Sheen and Ashton K combined. And also the reason why Tina and Roger are no longer an item. Pecs, trainer to the stars and half of the world's passionate love story. The other half being himself. And there's a long waiting list for Pecs' services, known as Celebrity Boot Camp. Because he's known for his killer workout, bound to get any Hollywood starlet back in shape. And finally, Angel Tomlin, the serious actress. The artist with the single-minded goal to win an Oscar before she turns 30. She has a way to go. Her last credit was Eat and Run, a direct-to-DVD zombie movie that you may have had the good fortune to miss. So she's a little bit anxious to up her game. And to do that, an actress's first priority must be getting back into tip-top shape. You got all that? Good. Because things are really starting to heat up in The Hot House.
S216 Minutes of Fame
Angel was right about one thing. Bebe is about to become more famous than ever, now that she has stolen Angel's juicy role as the lone survivor of a crazed killer. As for Angel, well, she's learned the difference between fame and infamy. Life is such a bitch that way. There's already a film about her in the works, and rumor has it Natalie Portman is ready to kill for the part. Perhaps she'll get another Oscar, or maybe that honor will go to her makeup artist.
S2Gun Twisted
Guns have always had the power to arouse. They symbolize control, virility and gratification. They also go by many names. Maverick, Ice, Goose, Viper, Stinger, Slider, Tek and Heartbreaker. Loving a gun is a lot like loving a femme fatale. Both obsessions can lead you on a path to destruction.
A smart criminal sees the world a whole lot different than regular people. When I'm casing a joint, time slows down so much, it's like everything and everyone comes to a stop. Everything was just like you said, Laurie. The manager hires cute tellers. A good thing. Lookers don't risk getting killed. And the late afternoon guard is a gut-bucket slob. I'll bet you anything that loser never even practices with that cheap jack pistol they gave him. We can go out the rear exit and be in the alley in seconds. Standard issue digital camera with typical low resolution. So we can get away with simple disguises. And I saw your best pal, Sarah. And she's got "bitch" written all over her. All over her.
S2Trophy Wife
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially when that woman is about to be replaced by a younger, deadlier version of herself. And for all the Botox, liposuction and skin treatments a desperate housewife could buy, money cannot turn back the clock. It is the inevitable, inexorable passage of time that changes the rules. So now, Veronica's playing a new game, a game of survival, a game that I call "Trophy Wife".
Well, it looks like some scorned women aren't that furious after all. This one's for the first wives, for those women with the experience and the imagination younger women cannot even begin to know. For those women who know that love attraction isn't only to be found in soft, supple, young lips, smooth legs and perfectly sculpted bodies, but in the mind, in the psyche, in the darkest depths of your soul. As for Veronica and Gil, it really is one of nature's majestic wonders that two people, unique in their romantic depravity, have found one another, because after all, even psychopaths need love.
S2Extracurricular Activities
When you're having an affair with another woman's husband, it's usually best not to do it directly under her nose. Institutions of higher learning have always been a hotbed of love activity. Teachers with teachers, students with students and the perennial favorite – teachers with students. Professor Kelsey Williams is about to discover that when you toy with an impressionable mind to get what you want, sometimes it proves impossible to stick to the lesson plan.
Professor Williams, do you have a moment? I'd like to run my paper topic by you. I've decided to write about Joan of Arc.
Why?
Well, I can't really think of a stronger woman than Joan of Arc.
Please. She was insane. She heard voices in her head, and was burned at the stake at 16. If you want to write about a strong woman, find someone who used their brains to get what they wanted. Someone like... Cleopatra.
But Cleopatra didn't use her brains. She used love to get men to do her bidding. She's far less noble than Joan of Arc.
That's where you're wrong. Women throughout history have had to use whatever resources were available to take matters into their own hands and get what they wanted. Men have muscles; women have their loving personality. Cleopatra looked at her options at the time and did what she had to do. And that took brains.
I never thought of it that way.
Well, there's a lot that I could teach you.
By the way, that's a lovely scent you're wearing.
I just can't tell you how disappointed I am in you both. The two of you have always been campus leaders. Right now, I'm dealing with overcrowded classrooms, tuition increases and the Cuesta Verde Conquistadors are going 0 for 12 this year. The last thing I need on my plate is a sorority love tape scandal. Girls! I can't get involved with this right now!
We are so mortified, Dean Rutledge.
Don't worry. We'll take care of it.
Good. Now, I trust you ladies will handle this with the high standards that I've instilled in you in the last four years.
Of course.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
Dean Rutledge?
Kelsey!
I got your message.
Yes, I wanted to have a word with you. I wanted you to know that we've zeroed in on November 21st for the career fair, and I'm looking for volunteers to help coordinate the event.
Well, you can count on me.
Good.
Is there... anything else?
No. That'll be all. [Kelsey starts to walk away] There is... one more thing. [Kelsey turns around and faces Vera] I want you to stop screwing my husband.
I don't know what you mean.
Let's... not do this, shall we? I know it's you. I'm not surprised. Jake always had a thing for the sleazy sorority type. And you certainly fit the bill. Flouncing around campus like a ridiculous harlot with a penchant for cheap perfume.
You know, I don't have to take that from you.
Yes, you do. Because you know I have it in my power to destroy you, and I will... with pleasure if I even get a hint that you are still seeing my husband behind my back. Trust me, you won't be able to get a job teaching kids how to tie their shoes. Are we clear? Walk away, Kelsey. There's not a man around as far as I can see. Don't make me speak to you again. [turns around and walks away from Kelsey]
Chaz! I never meant for you to hurt anyone.
But I did! It's what you wanted! What we both wanted. To be together.
Yes, but...
You said you love me. And I love you. Two people who are in love don't let anyone keep them apart. Right? Right?
I don't deserve you. [Chaz starts kissing Kelsey on the lips, but she pulls away from him] Wait.
What's wrong?
Let's be smart about this. We have to be extremely careful. No one can know that we're involved with each other.
No one is gonna find out. I've thought of everything. You have nothing to worry about, babe.
Okay, but still, for appearances' sake, I think that it's best that we keep our distance.
No way. I can't live without you.
We can't risk raising any eyebrows. Not, at least, until this whole thing blows over. Chaz, it's the only way. If we don't play this just right, you could go to prison. And then we'll never be together. All great love stories in history take a little time.
Hi, Professor Williams.
What's happening?
[referring to Jake Rutledge] Oh, you didn't hear? They found evidence connecting him to his wife's murder.
What evidence?
The murder weapon. It was one of those night sticks that security guards use. They found traces of the Dean's blood, and the Professor's prints were all over it.
That's impossible.
He got it at Walmart. Security camera footage showed him buying it just days before the murder. Funny. He doesn't look like a murderer to me.
Feminine wiles can be a tricky thing. When a woman uses love to get what she wants, she can easily turn a love-struck man into a dangerous weapon. Problem is, like any weapon, sometimes it can be turned against us. Unfortunately for Professor Kelsey Williams, she taught Chaz everything she knows.
S2Killer Instinct
Davis Bennett just discovered that lethal things often come in pretty packages. But the lesson cost him his life. In this case, looks really can kill. As for Lauren Coleston, well, she's also about to learn something, which is that the life of a professional assassin is just as much about receiving pain as it is about dispensing it.
I'm going to ask you some questions. You'll either answer them now or after I torture you. And I hope you refuse to cooperate.
Why?
Because I so enjoy inflicting pain.
Who are you?
Someone who likes to push your buttons.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Femme Fatales pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.