Felicity Porter quotes from Felicity

Felicity

He came all the way to New York, convinced that I'm, like, his soulmate or something.

Ben

Imagine that.

Felicity

I'm sort of in the same situation.

Ben

You're stalking somebody else? Who?

Felicity, you know, I think that kiss was pretty damn good.

Felicity

Okay, you need to go home.

Meghan

Are you buying her a car?

Felicity

Meghan!

Meghan

What?! A friend of mine married a guy from Togo, he bought her a Montero!

Felicity

Well, he's not buying me a car.

Javier

Do you want a bicycle?

Felicity

You don't seem exactly… straight.

Javier

[gasping] Really?

Felicity

Uh, excuse me, Abby?

Yes, Felicity?

Felicity

You probably know this, I'm sure you do, but our old manager, Javier, actually did employee evaluations on all of us.

You're right. I do know that. But remarks like, "a real cutie patootie," and "when he makes a mochachino I get all tingly," were hard to quantify.

Julie

What are you doing?

Felicity

Spying. Blatantly spying.

Felicity

We're just talking about this. [Holds up box]

Oh. What's that?

Felicity

Oh, it's just my secret box. No one is ever allowed to look inside of it, including Meghan. I drive her crazy with it.

Ben

[About his mom] She finally left my dad, and has a chance to be happy for the first time in her life..ever. I know that if she knew what was going here, she would be so worried. I've screwed up her life enough.

Felicity

Maybe you should let her worry. I mean may be that's not such a bad thing. I mean they're still your parents. Maybe you should let your mom, be your mom. Let her take care of you. Let her worry about you.

Felicity

I thought that maybe you had hated me just a little.

Maybe I do. You're young, perky. And then there's the hair.

Felicity

I thought you liked Nicole.

Ben

I did. I did! It's just she's been sending these signals... that she's interested in me.

Felicity

What kind of signals?

Ben

Well, she, uh, she kissed me.

Felicity

What?!

Ben

Yeah. That was one signal. And then she came over last night... she took her clothes off, which was signal number two.

Felicity

How is burning my hair going to help you with your finals?

Meghan

Wouldn't you like to know?

Felicity

Meghan, what's going on?

Meghan

What does it look like?

Felicity

Yeah. I have no idea.

Are you still thinking about becoming an R.A?

Felicity

I don't think so.

Really?

Felicity

Yeah, I'm...um, kind of feeling like who am I to be giving anyone advice?

You're someone who's been through it. (pause) So... see you next year?

Felicity

You and I both know that if we were to drive across the country, it would never be platonic.

Ben

So?

Felicity

I can't be having this conversation, because I am the devil.

Ben

You keep saying you're the devil. I'll tell you what: you are not the devil.

Felicity

What if I am? Then what?

Ben

Then I'd still want you to come with me.

Felicity

You would not!

Ben

Yes I would.

Felicity

First of all, you would not want me to go with you if I were the devil. And secondly, it's not just us. There are other people involved.

Ben

Yeah, but I like you. I can't help it.

Ben

Where are you going?

Felicity

I don't know. It's a flight reflex.

Ben

I've been wanting to do that for a long time.