Felicity Porter quotes from Felicity

Ben

Not everybody's like you, all right? Crazy-sensitive and always judging everybody.

Felicity

I don't always judge everybody... I always judge you.

Julie

He touched your teeth, it means something.

Felicity

My teeth don't mean anything.

Julie

Don't you think he touched her teeth?

Felicity

It was like a...flick.

Elena

I need your advice about men.

Felicity

You need my advice about men?

Felicity

You know what?!

Noel

What?

Felicity

Maybe I AM a lovesick schoolgirl.

Noel

I'm not going to be your girlfriend.

Felicity

Were you ever going to be my girlfriend?

Julie

So what's going on? Are you and Ben...?

Felicity

Screwing? No. Talking? No.

Felicity

You're not growing a goatee, are you?

Noel

Not with that tone in your voice.

Felicity

Julie, I'm gonna go wash these.

Julie

Okay. Try the men's room, it's got a bigger sink. Don't ask me how I know that.

Felicity

Can you guys excuse me for a minute?

Julie

Where are you going?

Felicity

Hyperventilate. I'll be right back.

Felicity

Can I just say one thing?

Noel

You never say one thing.

Javier

I said, "Ma, if Nono's gonna be there for Thanksgiving, count me out."

Felicity

Good for you! What did she say?

Javier

There's a little space out back by the garage. She's gonna leave him out there.

Felicity

Wait, so, ah... Nono's a dog?

Javier

No.

Noel

It's sad. He's got necrophilia.

Felicity

He sleeps with dead people?

Noel

No, I mean narcolepsy.

Felicity

[marking Day Planner] Noel... Sex. Is eight o'clock okay?

Noel

For sex? Eight o'clock... eight's good.

Noel

Don't be jealous.

Felicity

I'm sure I'm supposed to be, but it's just too sad.

You could make a lot of money selling your hair. I know people.

Felicity

I'll keep that in mind.