(Ted and Dougal are sitting down at breakfast. Ted had discovered the stolen whistle the night before in Dougal's jacket)
Dougal, is there anything on your mind?
(Dougal looks around, a dumb expression on his face)
Let me re-phrase that. Is there anything you want to tell me about? Something bothering you in some way?
Like what Ted?
Have you done anything you might be embarrassed about? Have you done anything bad recently? Anything wrong?
Wrong?
Yes Dougal. "Wrong". You remember right and wrong? The difference between the two? Page one of "How to be a Catholic".
(Dougal looks clueless and confused)
Honestly Dougal, this is very basic stuff.
(Dougal continues to look confused)
What is "wrong"? Give me an example of something that's "wrong".
(trying very hard to rise to this intellectual challenge) Just give me a second Ted. (stands up)
Arson. There's one. (pause) Murder. (pause) Swearing.
Swearing. Yeah.
Anything else?
(Dougal is racking his brains)
Err... Emm... Err... L.. Lying?
(animated) Well done Dougal! Yes!
Thanks Ted.
(Dougal begins to collapse. The strain of thinking was too much)
Dougal are you all right?
I'm fine Ted I just need to sit down.
(Dougal sits back down)
Sorry about that Dougal. I probably pushed you a bit hard there.
No worries Ted.
(Dougal places his head on the table in exhaustion)
Dougal, something else that's wrong is... stealing.
(Dougal looks up at Ted. He's beginning to recover)
What I'm trying to say is that it's wrong to steal. Stealing is just something you don't do.
Right. Except you.
(shocked) What?
Well you're allowed to steal.
(indignant) What are you talking about?
The money. From that Lourdes thing.
(Ted is lost for words and is very uncomfortable and beginning to get angry)
(defensively) Different thing altogether Dougal. First of all, that money was just resting in my account before I moved it on!
It was resting for a long time Ted.
Yes, but...
A good long rest.
(frustrated) Look Dougal, we're not talking about me! We're talking about YOU!
Is there anything you want to tell me about?
(Ted reaches into his top pocket and produces the stolen whistle)
This, for example?
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