I'm hugely confused, Ted...
“Night of the Nearly Dead” · Season 3
In this episode: Father Dougal (5), Eoin McLove (5), Father Ted (2), Father Jack (1)
It's like a big tide of jam coming towards us, but jam made out of old women.
Go away... (pause for thought) ...you big dirty pile of old biddies!
Go away! I don't want to catch the menopause!
(Looking out the Window)I'm no good at judging the size of crowds,but i'd say theres around seventeen million of them out there
You're not scared of the dark,are you?It's only cause the sun goes...and...its got something to do with clouds
They lie in wait like wolves. The smell of blood in their nostrils. Waiting. Interminably waiting. And then...
He's right, Ted.
(To Ted) I can have you killed!
PPatsy
Thanks for everything, Father. Oh, and thanks for not mentioning Eoin's "problem."
Oh yes, you mentioned that before. What was it?
I have no willy.
Well Father, you've got 4 out of 5 questions right on your specialist subject, William Shatner's Tek Wars. So, if you get the general knowledge question right, the £500 will be yours. Oh no! People will think this is rigged. John Paul II. What was his name before he became pope?
(long pause across end credits) Jim?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Father Ted pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.