You can't take them all at once.
How dumb do you think I am? I'll take 'em down one by one the Die Hard way.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
This is John Crichton paging the head Cylon. Pick up the phone, Imperious Leader.
So, we've gone from Die Hard to Honey, I Shrunk the Hostages.
How are my little inaction figures?
[Crichton puts on glove/hand of the alien he just killed] Oh, God it's still warm.
Como estas, la cucaracha?
I'm getting a really bad bribe.
(to himself) Oh god, she's talking English. (to Aeryn) "Vibe."
I'm not sure... I have the strength to miss next time.
I think... I'm just a bad shot.
[Crichton, dressed in women's clothing, stands on a table]
Excuse me ladies, can I have your attention. Do any of you have one of these under your skirt?
[Crichton pulls two pulse pistols from hip holsters and begins shooting]
Yeah, girl power!
Defying all logic, Crichton may actually figure out how to get us away from the Peacekeepers forever.
PPilot
Without disrespect, he oftentimes leaps to conclusions prior to leading us into--
Not here, Pilot! Trust me, I wouldn't have risen to Dominar if I wasn't good at recognizing things before they happen!
PPilot
You were deposed in a coup led by your own cousin.
[scene begins as a close-up on Crichton's face]
Oh no, this is that dream where I wake up in a cell, naked.
[camera moves back to show Crichton, on his back on the floor, in a t-shirt]
[sighs] Thank heaven for simple mercies.
What propulsion, the smoke you're blowing up my ass?
I am not Kirk, Spock, Luke, Buck, Flash, or Arthur frelling Dent. I am Dorothy Gale from Kansas.
D'Argo, you should study this. [sings along with the television] "L, m, n, o, p." Just a few of their words. Just in case.
Chiana has already told me a few words. 'Yes', 'no', 'bite me', that's all I need to know.
Somebody got a sugar high. You been stealing candy, Mr. Burrels?
Crichton, how illegal is this dren? You have to get me more. I don't care what it costs!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Farscape pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.