[At the Drunken Clams tavern]
Peter, what's the matter with you today? You're not yourself.
Guys, I went to see Dr. Hartman yesterday, and...he did things to my fanny! [accidentally knocks over his beer mug; crying]
[solemnly] Peter, it's okay.
It's not okay! You don't know what it's like!
You're wrong. I too have felt the cold finger of injustice on my insidey parts.
[stops crying; shocked] He...he did it to you, too?
I have something to say. Dr. Hartman violated me as well. I only went in there for a physical/guinea pig removal, but I turned out to be the guinea pig...for his sexual experimentation!
You guys are a bunch of queers. [leaves, then comes back crying] And so am I! Oh, God, it was horrible! I scrubbed and I scrubbed, but DAMN IT, THEY DON'T MAKE WATER HOT ENOUGH!
My God, we've all been victims of Dr. Hartman's "prostate exam." Well, gentleman, the abuse stops here! I will not turn a brown eye to this. I am gonna sue that bastard and make him pay out the ass. No if's, and's, or but's. I'm gonna be really anal about this. Sphincter.
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