[to Sue] Oh honey, what do you need? Anything, you name it.
You can turn on the air conditioner.
It's not hot enough for it yet.
Kevin Murphy': [annoyed] What does this family have against comfort?!
Electricity costs money, Kevin. Do the math.
[smug] He can't. He failed math.
[shocked] What?
[shocked] You failed math?
[to Bill] You are dead.
[still smug] And you are dumb. He has to go to summer school.
[shocked] Summer school?! [upset] We're supposed to go to the lake next month! YOU'D JUST FUCKED UP THE WHOLE SUMMER, KEVIN!!!
Daddy, I got all A's.
[to Maureen, calmly] Oh Princess, I'm yelling at Kevin right now. [to Kevin, angry] WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Frank, stop yelling.
[angry] That is it! No more guitar! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE YOUR NOSE IN A BOOK THIS WHOLE SUMMER YOUNG MAN, IF I HAVE TO GLUE TO IT YOUR GODDAMN FACE, YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! AM I SPEAKING PLAIN ENGLISH, OR DID YOU FUCKING FLUNK THAT TOO?!
[talking back] I GOT A D-PLUS IN ENGLISH!!
[sarcastically] OHHH, A D-PLUS! WELL, LET'S HAVE A FUCKING PARADE!!!
[silently pissed off] Frank, you are not helping.
[continues] HEY, STRIKE UP THE BAND!! [mimics drumming sound and starts walking like a musician] THREE CHEERS FOR MY D-MINUS SON!!!
D-PLUS!!!
[outraged] FOR GOD'S SAKE, WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP!?!?!? [Frank slows his walking. Calming] It is hot. There is a creature inside me, and it is using my bladder as a speed bag. But do YOU, see ME...[angry as she picks up her plate and smashes it on the floor]...RANTING AND RAVING, LIKE A LUNATIC??? [Does the same with the bowl on the table]
[Everyone stares at her, shocked]
Why don't I turn on the air conditioning? There you go, honey! Sweet relief!
[The A/C machine sputters as bugs and smoke come out of it, then it falls to the ground outside]
AH, SHIT! [Half of a dead toad slaps him in the face]
[From far away] DON'T LICK THAT TOAD, FRANK!
More F Is for Family quotes · These quotes come from Wikiquote's F Is for Family pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.





