Evil Con Carne quotes

Hector

Attention, League of Nations, you will lower your pathetic defenses and turn control of the planet over to me, Hector Con Carne. If you do not comply by six o'clock, this

Hector

HEY! Point the camera at me, you doo-doo! ME! Ahem, yes. So, turn over control of the world to me or I will force to use my doomsday device! With this, I can reduce your cities to smoking rubble! You have six hours to meet my demands.

Hector

Oh, that was horrible! Bad Boskov! Bad bear! These days like this, I wish my real body hadn't exploded!

Skarr

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, sir, but the League of Nations just sent a team of crack commandos to stop us.

Hector

Commandos? How can we stop them from kicking our butts, General Skarr?

Skarr

Hmmm. Cover our butts with our hands, sir?

Alright, commandos! Let's rock!

Hector

Skarr, report to the command center right away!

Skarr

But, it's 2 AM.

Hector

Don't you know that tyranny never sleeps? For you see, General, on this very night, you and I will finally... dominate... the world! Hahahaha! Now, hurry up! Oh, and bring up some ice cream. Vanilla.

Stomach

Vanilla is delicious!

Skarr

What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong. I am sick and tired of playing errand boy for that oversized wad of chewing gum, and that dipstick bear of his. I utterly despise him with every fiber of my being. And someday, someday soon, my children, I will make him... pay.

Skarr

You need to change your brain fluid, Hector. There's only one way to conquer the world. We've got to build massive armies and stockpile missiles! Then, you have to target and destroy every major capital in the world! YES! YES! HAHAHAHA! ALL MINE! ALL... [stops daydreaming] mine?

Self destruct will occur in T-minus ten seconds, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one....

Hector

What was that?

Skarr

That was just our engines blowing up. I'm out of here!

Come out with your paws up. You know the law! [points to sign] Wild bears are not allowed to fraternize with park guests.

Hector

But, I'm not a... I can explain. I'm unarmed, literally!

Hector

You fool! You can't put a king on a four!

Stomach

Did you say sandwich?

Ghastly

I knew I should have been a dental assistant.

Skarr

Anyone care to wager what I'll be next?

Skarr

If you guessed sheep liver fluke, you win.

Hector

Does not having a body stink! Come to think of it, not having a mouth stinks.

Skarr

Tuesday is steak and kidney pie day!