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Everybody Hates Chris quotes

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Everybody Hates Chris
All S1

S1 E15Unfinished Business

After two years at Corleone, I'd gotten used to bein' the only black kid, but it had two major downsides. One downside was I was the only black kid, and the other was I was the only black kid.

Let's celebrate the day Chris' people finally realized they were emancipated! Happy Juneteenth, Chris! [blows a party horn in Chris' face]

I thought things would never change, but then Albert arrived.

Man, I was glad to see you. When I first got here, I thought it was gonna be like my last school, where I was the only black kid. They really gave me a hard time over there! I got beat up almost every day.

Same here.

I told you I'd be back.

Yeah, but for how long, Chris? For how long?

That concludes another episode of "As the Nerd Turns."

Chris, you must be so happy. You must feel just like Jackie Robinson when Larry Doby arrived.

More like Robert Parish when Dennis Johnson showed up.

Who's Larry Doby?

He was the second black man in baseball, but he was taller than Jackie... and more... strapping. His strong shoulders and Nubian profile, his Cleveland Indians uniform complimented by the rich caramel color of his skin, and the way he swung his bat.

Forget jungle fever, she's havin' a jungle seizure!

[to Chris] After years of being alone and ostracized, you now have a soul brother! Somebody to talk jive with and to shoot dice with, to talk about being raised by MaDear with. Just seeing the two of you together would make your leaders like Dr. King and Uncle Remus proud.

A tax refund check is like a bonus for broke people: a bonus which my mother accepted with grace and class.

Kiss my ass, Visa!

Visa was actually the name of the lady who collected bills for MasterCard.

Anyone who says money can't buy happiness never saw my mother with her IRS refund couch.

Ms. Morello was right. Hangin' out with Albert was cool, but I still felt bad about fightin' with Greg.

There goes the neighborhood.

Hey, my dad's got an extra ticket to the Knicks game. He said I could bring somebody. You wanna go?

Are you kidding me? Heck yeah, I wanna go! Thanks, man.

Who would possess the vulgar cultural background and raw, angry street talent to do something like this?

I'll give you one guess, and it starts with Albert.

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