I think I'm gonna get really fucked up tonight.
[V.O.] The only other time I'd ever seen Jules drink was the night of McKay's party. It's not like I'm a drag and want everyone to be sober around me. It's just, something felt off.
Tequila makes me aggressive.
[groans] Tequila makes me wanna dance.
I–I once took, like, ten Vicodin, and drank an entire thing of tequila, and then I, like, blacked out for three days. But while I was blacked out, I still went to school and did homework and shit. It was really weird.
Well, let's not do that tonight.
I won't. I'm... I'm clean, so we're good. [chuckles]
Wait a minute. I was supposed to be your chaperone... but now I'm drunk.
I don't, like, actually need a chaperone.
Can I ask you a question?
Like, um... What happened the night of the carnival? 'Cause I feel like it felt like we were, like, having a lot of fun when we were, like, hanging out. And then you just kinda, like, disappeared.
What is, like, your weird fascination with me? I don't get it.
What? I don't have a weird fascination with you.
Okay. Say we hung out that night. And then what?
Um, I... I don't know. And then we would, like, hang out again.
Ethan, why would we hang out again?
'Cause we, like, enjoyed hanging out?
Ethan, if you want me to suck your dick or fuck you, just say it, but... stop acting like we'll be boyfriend and girlfriend, because the chances of that happening are, like, literally zero.
Hey, man. Uh, look, I owe you an apology.
Nah, come on, now. We're good.
Bro. Man, I... I said some really fucked-up shit I didn't mean.
Listen, Rue. You a drug addict. I don't take nothin' a drug addict says personally, 'cause I don't believe nothin' a drug addict say. I love you, I hate you. You the best, go fuck yourself. It's all the same shit, you know what I'm sayin'? Y'all just lookin' for an angle in.
Yeah, I know, but... As your friend, I need you to know that I'm sorry. And I love you.
And thank you for not... selling me drugs.
As your friend, I got you. You sober?
You know, it's weird. I've been fucked up so long that it kind of feels like a new drug.
The highs are high, but the... The lows are low.
[to Rue] Yo, ain't that your homegirl right there?
[Rue sees Jules drunkenly stumble and fall into the pool]
Jules, what are you doing?
[starts reciting Romeo and Juliet] Although I joy in thee, I have no joy in this contract tonight.
What are you talking about? I don't know what that means.
It's too rash. Too unadvised. Too sudden. Too like the light in which thou doth cease to breathe.
Jules, you're drunk, okay? And you sound like an idiot. Can you please get out of the pool?
'Ere one can say "it lightens." Sweet, good night! This bud of love by summer's ripening breath may prove a beauteous flower when we next meet.
[V.O.] And maybe Ali was right about Jules. 'Cause this doesn't feel good. [to Jules] Stop, okay. Can you stop? Stop. Stop! S-Stop, Jules! [V.O.] I just wish she'd told me about last night.
[to Cassie] I don't know what you're gonna say, but this feels like... really dramatic.
BBB
Yeah, this is spooky.
It is not spooky, BB. I just–I need your advice on, like, two things. And I need you guys to promise me not to say a single fucking word. So, the night of Daniel's Halloween party, something happened.
...
Wait, am I hearing this correctly? You wanna tell McKay that you made out with Daniel at the carnival and on Halloween?
Yeah, but, I don't... I don't have to say it's Daniel.
Bitch, that's the craziest idea I've ever heard. [looks over at Kat and BB] Right?
Yeah, but I wanna be honest with him.
But it's not like I cheated-cheated.
Kissing is worse. It's so much more intimate. And if anybody brings it up, you deny, deny, deny.
Okay, but, I just don't want there to be something this bad between us forever.
I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like you guys are gonna be together forever.
Kat, what the fuck is your problem? You're being a bad friend now. You were a bad friend to me, and this whole new personality is seriously unlikable.
Why, because I won't sit and listen to you bitch and moan about your psychotic, abusive boyfriend who you've literally broken up with a thousand times?
It was literally the lowest point in my life, so yeah. That and the fact that you're just fucking mean.
Maddy, ever since I've met you, all you talk about is yourself. Your clothes, your boyfriends, whatever superficial shit you think is so fucking important. Sorry I'm no longer interested.
I don't know about everyone else, but I miss the old Kat. You know, the one who had a sense of humor and wasn't a fucking cunt?
[Kat starts crying and leaves the room]
[to Cassie] What was the other thing?
You said you needed advice on two things.
I don't remember. What would you do?
Um, I don't know. I've never really been in a situation where two guys have been interested in me.
That's 'cause you're shy.
I guess so, but I've also never been in a situation where I've been interested in two guys.
That's also 'cause you're shy.
But if you were in my situation, what would you do?
Honestly, I don't think I would say anything.
What if not saying something makes you feel really bad?
Well, then, I don't think you have any other option.
MMcKay
What? Are you for real that you're a hundred percent pregnant?
MMcKay
I... I'm sorry, uh... Are you alright?
Yeah, I'm... I'm just a little bit nervous.
MMcKay
Nervous about what?
About what you're gonna say.
MMcKay
You're not really thinking about having this kid, are you?
I really love you, McKay.
MMcKay
Yeah, I love you, too, but I'm doing a lot of shit right now. I'm in the middle of school right now. It's a big fuckin' responsibility, Cassie.
What if this is what I'm supposed to do with my life?
MMcKay
What the fuck? My parents are gonna kill me. My coach is gonna kill me. My parents are gonna fucking kill me. Fuck. Cass, I don't even think you wanna have this baby, okay? It's not a... It's not a fuckin' fairy tale. Like... It may seem all cute and cuddly to you, but this is real shit. I'm not even ready to be a dad. I don't know if that's selfish to say or whatever, but... children are fuckin' scary. You wanted to talk about it, so here we are. We're talking about it. But I say we don't do it.
I'm not saying I'm gonna have a baby. I just wanted to dream about it for a minute.
MMcKay
You'll make the best mother on the planet one day. I say that without a doubt.
[Fez sees Nate and Maddy park near his and Ashtray's convenience store. Nate gets out of his truck.]
Can you get me a mango La Croix? And those cherry rolling papers?
[Maddy shakes her head. Fez watches Nate walk around the store through his reflection on a security mirror]
Yo, can I get two of the rolling papers, too, bro?
Yo, man. I don't know what's been goin' on with you, Rue, and Jules and shit... but you should know, I really do care about her.
...Aren't you, like, her drug dealer?
What, are you in a relationship?
Nah, bruh. That's like my family.
Look, man. All I'm sayin' is, leave her and her friends alone.
Nah, I'm just tellin' you.
We're not gonna be havin' this conversation.
[beat] Fezco, let's get this straight. You're, like, half a retard. You dropped out of school at 20, and now... you're a gangster. What are you, like, fucking Tony Montana? What's the plan, hmm? You gonna be living in a mansion, fucking pet tigers and shit? [chuckles and smiles] Go fuck yourself.
Listen, bruh. All I'm sayin', you keep fuckin' with Rue and her friends, and I'mma kill you. [pause] It's gonna be $5.75, playboy.
[V.O.] Okay, this is gonna sound sick, because I'm actually in a lot of pain right now–due to the sheer weight and strain on my bladder–but man, does this make me miss opiates. Because your bladder is trained from a very early age not to pee whenever it wants to. It needs permission from your brain. And when you're really high, your brain gets a little... lazy. Too lazy to say something.
...
[V.O.] An adult bladder can hold two cups of urine. But if you're telling your bladder to hold off because, say, you're in the worst depression of your fucking life, your bladder will eventually fill. And what begins to happen is... all of the toxins that your kidneys have pushed into your bladder begin to travel back into your kidneys. I know what you're thinking: "Rue, this is insane. Don't get a kidney infection. Walk to the bathroom." Trust me, I'm thinking the same fucking thing.
[Jules has a hallucination of Nate while dancing at a nightclub with Anna]
Did you not want me to come? Are you here alone?
[Jules tries to get away from Nate, but he follows her]
[pause; turns around to face Nate] I'm scared of you, Nate.
I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for hurting you. You... You were the most beautiful person that I've ever known. I'm Tyler. I'm the person that you fell in love with.
[Jules screams at Nate and pins him against a wall]
I'm yours. I'm all yours.
[Jules hallucinates kissing and slapping Nate while she and Anna make out on the dance floor]
[to Nate] You're a pussy. You're a bitch. And I wish the whole fucking world could know.
[V.O.] They put me on Cipro, which is the antibiotic they give to people that are exposed to anthrax, started me on Lexapro, which is one of the few antidepressants that doesn't make me crazier. And kept me there for three days. It was actually really nice. I love hospitals. If I could spend the rest of my life in a hospital, I would. Because when you're in a hospital, you have zero responsibilities. They make sure you eat, sleep, stay hydrated, and if anything bad happens, there's always a doctor nearby. It's also the best place to be in the event of a mass shooting, unless the gunman kills all the surgeons. The point is, I had zero anxiety.
Did all this happen because I left?
Yeah, I promise. I've felt like this my whole life, Jules. Not all the time, but sometimes. You make it better, though.
For not telling you the truth.
[V.O.] For everyone who was calling me manic, I was, like, 92 percent correct. But something was different about Jules.
Rue, you look fucking amazing.
Jules, I am deeply uncomfortable right now.
Listen, you look hot. And the fact that you usually dress like Seth Rogen, although you make it cute sometimes, like, it crushes my soul.
I don't dress like Seth Rogen.
When was the last time you didn't wear a hoodie and sweatpants?
I don't know, like... now.
What if these are, like, the big moments in life? Like, my mom always talks about how high school was like this big, monumental part of her life. But I cannot imagine being 40 and looking back at this, like, "Wow."
Yeah, but that's because most people peak in high school.
I definitely haven't peaked, so...
I feel like I'm not even a person yet.
Yeah, I'm definitely at, like, 25 percent peakness.
I feel like I'm at a hundred. But I can definitely get to 150.
Honestly, I never thought I'd make it this far.
I don't know. I just always had, like, this overwhelming anxiety that something bad would happen.
In all fairness, last summer, there were, like, three weeks where I thought you were dead.
Okay, but she's been sober for, like, three months.
[to Rue] Weren't you in rehab, like, six months ago?
[In a flashback, Nate fails to get an erection when he and Maddy get intimate]
It... It doesn't really feel like you're hard.
Nate, this isn't something you just, like, lie about.
Maddy, I just got a lot of shit on my mind, okay?
Like right now? Like, during sex?
Talking. Stop talking. Fuck.
Okay, I'm officially turned off. Just get off me.
[Nate gets out of bed and puts on his boxers]
Why the fuck are we even having sex?
You know what your fucking problem is? You can't keep your fucking mouth shut.
Yeah, and you can't keep your dick hard.
Maybe the reason I can't keep my dick hard is because everyone at school is spreading these fucking rumors about me.
They're not rumors; they're facts. You literally had, like, 40 different guys' dicks in your phone.
I told you not to fucking tell anyone.
Yeah, well, I told people before you told me not to tell anyone.
Yeah, but you told them out of fucking context.
Really? What is the context?
I'd tell you, but I don't even fucking trust you anymore.
Kind of like how you fuck me, but you're not hard anymore?
[Nate suddenly stands up, gets back into bed and grabs Maddy's face]
Huh? Keep talking. Come on, keep fucking talking. Keep talking, huh?!
[Maddy starts crying once Nate lets go of her]
[pause] Look, Nate, I don't mind if you're into guys.
I'm not into fucking guys, Maddy.
The fuck? What the fuck are you talking about?
It's not like anyone's one hundred percent straight or one hundred percent gay.
Oh, that is one hundred percent bullshit.
[Nate walks out of his bedroom and shuts the door on Maddy]
Kat, I liked you since I sat down next to you. You know, and I know that you think there's, like, zero chance that we're gonna be together forever, and, uh... I don't know. I guess, we're both juniors, so you're probably right about that. You know, I mean, like, is one of us gonna get hurt? Yeah. Probably. But I'll do my best to make sure that it's me.
