Due South · Season 1
Excuse me. I was wondering if, before you leave...could I ask you a question?
Yes?
Would it be possible for you to get me a breakdown of the various meat packers, the number of horses-
[laughs] You know, that is the most unique come-on I have ever heard!
I don't follow you.
Ray, what's a "come-on"?
Yo! Manure man!
Leave me alone.
Look, I just came to apologize. I shoulda never said you were nuts. You obviously do this for a very good reason, and you probably make a pretty good living at it, too.
[suspiciously] You're not thinking of going into this yourself?
You mean scooping? I have no immediate plans.
An excellent living.
Really.
I collect and sell it for fertilizer.
So you must know your-
Like nobody else.
So where do you find it all?
Stables, pony rides, but they're not my biggest source...
Meat packing plants.
The mother load.
Let me ask you a question. Have you noticed any subtle differences in the product at these various plants?
I'll check my database.
Great. Here's my card, give me a call. And to show my appreciation, I'm gonna point out that you missed something really nice behind that bucket, there.
Why, thank you!
[Ray and Fraser are trapped inside a meat locker. Both have meat wrapped around them and Ray is wearing Fraser's Stetson]
Some people die in their sleep. Others die making love to a beautiful woman. I am going to die wrapped in meat.
Don't talk, Ray. You're expending body heat.
I'm going to freeze to death inside My Friend Flicka.
This better be real important.
We got a cop and a Mountie in the freezer.
[Laughing] That's what I love about the meat business. Brings something new everyday.
[Packer opens the door to the meat locker where Ray and Fraser are wrapped in meat]
Shoot 'em!
[Fraser leaps into action, warding off the thugs. A thug shoots at Fraser, but Fraser uses a solid, meat-wrapped, Ray as a shield. He and Ray quickly exit the meat locker]
He shot me!
The bullet couldn't penetrate the frozen meat.
[Fraser locks the door and adjusts the temperature]
You used me as a human shield! [whispering] I can't believe you did that!
[Fraser and Stephanie helped Mrs. Gamez move back into her apartment]
And I really want to thank him for everything he has done. In fact, I want to give him a big hug, but I'm afraid I will wrinkle him.
I know what you mean.
[Mario has just spent some time listening to Ray talk about his policeman adventures]
[Ray has just exited] Thanks. I think you really made his day.
It's okay, he actually was interesting.
Really? Hmm...
Fraser, there are hundreds of places that make pizza. What I'm looking for here is the perfect pizza at the perfect price.
Which is?
Free. And that's exactly what this'll be in 34 seconds. There's no way he can get a pizza here from Michigan Avenue in under a half-hour.
You mean you're using some promotional ploy in order to get something for nothing?
Welcome to the United States of America, Fraser.
[Fraser has jumped from the top of a building onto a stolen, speeding car]
Please stop immediately. This is not your automobile!
[Diefenbaker is chasing a stolen car]
[about Dief] Stop him!
Un-mush! Un-mush!
[Dief slips by Ray and continues chasing the car]
Where's your car?
Lot B. You ought to get that dog a hearing aid!
[Sees 'no dogs' sign outside of restaurant] Oh, dear. [To Dief] You see that sign? That includes you.
No, no, no, you can't take that attitude! It's a health regulation, there's a very good reason for it.
Yeah - you stink!
Ray, please. He's already feeling excluded.
Well, he should feel excluded. He's an animal!
Well, there you go. Now you've done it. Satisfied?
Strangely, yes!
Oh, no, Benny, not the window! I don't think they have doors in Canada.
Sir, perhaps I can be of assistance?
Who's he?
He's a Mountie.
What's he doing here?
I'm never entirely sure.
Are you nuts? The kid's done for! The FBI guys couldn't find Waldo if they took the book home for the weekend!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Due South pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
