Buck Frobisher quotes from Due South

Buck Frobisher

You track a man about as quietly as I pass wind.

Buck Frobisher

Stand back, son. There's a villain on the loose! [the motorcycle pulls a willie and goes flying down the street; Buck stands up from his place on the pavement] Taxi!

Okay, that's it.

Buck Frobisher

Hop on, Son. We've got a villain to catch.

Benton Fraser

[leaving his post] You ran away, but you brought your dress uniform with you?

Buck

No, I rented it. If we don't catch him by Tuesday, I have to pay extra. Ready?

Fraser

Ready.

Buck

Taxi!

Elaine

[about the villain's accomplice] Escaped and at large. I'm printing out last knowns, but the parole office could have more current addresses. I'll call when I get them.

Benton Fraser

Thank you kindly, Elaine.

Ray Vecchio

You're a gem, Elaine. Come on boys, let's move.

Buck Frobisher

We appreciate your thoughtfulness, Miss.

Now there's a country that knows what to export.

Elaine

Absolutely.

Buck Frobisher

May I have your attention, please. [Everything stops and all eyes are glaring at Buck and Fraiser] Thank you.

[whispering to Buck] Could I have one quick word?

Buck

[Continuing] Anybody carrying illegal firearms please place them on the bar, you're under arrest. [guns are pulled out and cocked] That's very good. Now place them on the bar.

Fraser

[to Buck] You see, I've been here before, and what I've found is this-

Buck

Ah, right...local custom. Alright, we're prepared to overlook the firearms infractions, it being hunting season and all. [a knife is thrown and lands in the door post besid Buck's shoulder] No, no, sir. You keep that. All we want is information on the whereabouts of one Walter Ho.

You want to know where Ho is?

Fraser

[to Buck] You see, it's usually at this point that they'll start shooting, so if I might suggest we take cover behind that small wall, there-

Vincent, tell them where your father is.

956 Dearness Street.

Buck

Thank you, young man. Excuse us. [while leaving] Very nice people, these Americans. You hear these stories, but...

Ray Vecchio

I'm telling you, this is a waste of time. There's no way he gave you the right address. I mean, this is the guy's father.

Buck Frobisher

You're right, could be a trap. Now, we go in, ready for battle. [they burst into a room full of elderly people playing bingo] Alright! Nobody move! Get your hands on the table! Get those daubers where I can see 'em! [to an old guy on a walker] You, Pops! Hands in the air! [he obeys, loses his balance, and falls backwards] Oh, sorry.

Ray

Did anyone check this guy's birthday before we started out on this manhunt? Walter Ho was 91 years old. Wouldn't you say the trail's a tad cold?

Benton Fraser

Might have worked with Geiger early in his career.

Ray

Early in his career?! This guy started out with the James gang! Alright, where to next?

Buck

907 Mill Street Road. I've run into this guy before, we're not going to find him in any bingo parlor. Trager, James.

Buck

Born February 13, 1937. Died November 2, 1993.

Ray

Okay, I'll get the shovel, you handle the interrogation.

Buck

Look, one week ago, that man in there stole my self-respect. At least I let him steal it. Now I want him to know I'm taking it back, now. I'm going in alone.

Fraser

I understand.

Ray

You understand?! Let me suggest another interpretation to you: That is the stupidest reason I've ever heard in all my life!

Buck

Alright, I won't be long.

Fraser

Oh, one thing. If we should happen to feel that he's also stolen something from us...

Buck

Well, you come too.

Fraser

Good.

Ray

This has gone far enough! Let me point something out to you that your sharp Mountie eyes might have missed. See those windows up there? There are men in those windows with sniper scopes and high-powered rifles. Do you see any cover between here and there? No. Which means there's no way to get from here to there without being seen or killed.

Fraser

He's absolutely right.

Ray

Which is a shame because if there was, I'd be the first to say, "Let's do it."

Fraser

Hmm...unless...

Ray

I've never been so humiliated in all my life.

Fraser

Would you hold the lantern a little higher, Ray? If we bump the sides, we'll have to return the canoe scuffed.

Ray

Do you have any idea what's in this water?

Fraser

I would suspect a high percentage of ammonia, phosphorus, and cyanide.

Ray

Wrong! Rats. [holds hands up] Rats this big. And you know what they're doing? They're laughing at us. I'm in a canoe with two wounded Mounties and I'm being humiliated by rats.