Fraser Sr quotes from Due South

Fraser Sr.

What you need, son, if you don't mind me saying, is a good solid plan.

Fraser Sr.

Or, you could just throw a rock.

Fraser Sr.

[as ghost] Hello, son.

Hello, dad. How are you?

Fraser Sr.

I'm dead, son. Other than that, do you mean?

No, that's what I was asking.

Is there any insanity in our family?

Fraser Sr.

No, not that I'm aware of.

[relieved] Good.

Fraser Sr.

Well, there was your uncle Tiberius who died wrapped in cabbage leaves, but we assumed that was a freak accident.

Fraser Sr.

Count to three and rise up together shooting!

I don't carry a weapon.

Fraser Sr.

You what?

I don't carry a weapon!

Fraser Sr.

Is that smart, son?

Well, it's the law, dad.

Fraser Sr.

No time for niceties. [pulls out his gun] Here, use mine.

Well, I appreciate the offer, but it's imaginary.

Fraser Sr.

[disappointed] Oh. So it is.

Drive, quick! Before he comes back!

Vecchio

Who?

My father. Drive. Go!

Vecchio

Fraser, your father's dead!

I know, and I don't mean to speak ill of him, it's just he's driving me nuts.

Vecchio

Your father.

He's not really here. I know that. It's all in my mind. It's just he refuses to stay there, or rather, he refuses to leave there. I don't really understand it, but I'll tell you, it's beginning to wear a little thin! I mean, does he think I'm completely ignorant? The next thing he's going to do, he's going to try to show me how to light a fire! You know, Ray, I've got half a mind just to tell him to pack up and move out?

Vecchio

Of your mind.

Yes.

Fraser Sr.

Hello, son.

Oh, god, he's back.