Benton Fraser quotes from Due South

Ray Vecchio

Fraser, you do not want to live in this neighborhood. Cops do not live in areas like this. Most people we bust won't live here.

Benton Fraser

Why? It's central, convenient. I could walk to work in seven minutes.

Ray

Not without backup.

Ray Vecchio

Do me a favor, let's just turn around. I'll take you back to your hotel.

Fraser

No, I can't. I checked out - the windows wouldn't open.

Ray

Fraser, this is Chicago. The only reason to open a window is to get a better aim.

Dennis

Yo, I found the key.

Benton Fraser

I'll be right up, sir. [whispers] Ray, Ray, Ray.

Ray Vecchio

What?

Fraser

Is my lanyard straight?

Ray

[referring to Dennis] He's a slum lord !

Benton Fraser

Would you like to see my references now?

Dennis

References?

Ray

It's like a rap sheet.

Dennis

[gives a look] No, that's okay.

Dennis

This is the place. The furniture, appliances, and all of this great stuff is included. Utilities are extra. [He moves to the window] One a good day, you can see Canada just across the lake.

Benton Fraser

Canada is four-hundred and eighty-eight miles due North.

Dennis

You really have to squint.

Ray Vecchio

Well, where is he?

Benton Fraser

Who?

Ray

The kid! The purse-snatcher! Where is he?! I wanna book him.

Fraser

I let him go.

Ray

You let him go ?

Fraser

Well he apologized and promised never to do it again.

Ray

[incredulous] You just let him go?

Fraser

Not without a stern warning. Also, he gave me this.

Ray

Does the word "incarcerate" mean anything to you?

Fraser

Well, it's from the Medieval Latin, "incarcerata" ...

Ray

Medieval Latin? You let a perp go and and you're giving me Medieval Latin?

Fraser

Actually, "perpetrator" is also Latin from "perpetrare" ...

Ray

Shut up, okay? Just shut up.

Lt. Welsh

I thought they sent you back up to the Yukon.

Benton Fraser

Well, they did, sir. And then they sent be back here again. I'm afraid I'm not at all that well liked up there, sir.

Lt. Welsh

By, "up there", you mean...

Fraser

Pretty much all of Canada, sir.

Lt. Welsh

Hmm. The wolf isn't involved in this is it?

Ray

Only peripherally, sir.

Lt. Welsh

Are you willing to take responsibility for him?

Ray Vecchio

Personally? You see that's the problem, sir, in that, you know, I date a lot, and--

Lt. Welsh

Huey and Louis get him.

Louis

Good call, Lieutenant.

Benton Fraser

I'll take responsibility, sir.

Lt. Welsh

You want him?

Ray

It's a Mountie thing, sir. Two more points and he gets to go camping.

Wow. So I took out the trash, washed the walls, and made the bed eight-thousand times. What's next, maneuvers?

Benton Fraser

[hands Willie some money] Here.

For what?

Fraser

You earned it.

Yeah?

Fraser

Yeah.

Fraser

Goodnight Diefenbaker.

Fraser? You know crack dealers are even afraid to come into this neighborhood?

Fraser

Goodnight, Willie.

Fraser?

Fraser

Uh-huh?

Why is this money pink?

Fraser

Goodnight Willie.

Goodnight.

Ray Vecchio

He is in on it.

Benton Fraser

Yes.

Ray

Don't ask me how I know, but I know. How do you know?

Fraser

Same way you do.

Ray

I guessed.

Fraser

Oh.

Ray

What do you mean, "Oh" How do you know? You stick a wet finger in the air and you decide he was a thief?

Fraser

No, no. From that all I can tell is they have a malfunction in the ventilating system. [to a repairman] Pardon me, you have a broken cooling vent in Suite B [to Ray] It's of no importance, Ray.

Benton Fraser

You know, Ray, when I was a young man, my father told me one thing to always remember about thieves. Well, actually, he told me two things, but I've forgotten the other one. Anyway, the important one is, that despite the adage, you will rarely find honor among thieves.

Ray Vecchio

You can't remember the other one?

Fraser

It was something about tying a wallet to your underwear. I was very young at the time. Anyway, the point is, if they took the money during the robbery then Hamlin would have to trust them to give him his share.

Don't move, Boy Scout. Back right off.

Benton Fraser

You alright, Ray?

Ray Vecchio

I'm well, Fraser, and you?

[to Fraser] Dead in your tracks! Right there. Take out the gun and drop it on the floor.

Ray

Don't do it, Fraser. Take the shot.

Fraser

I'm afraid I'm not carrying a gun.

Drop the gun.

Fraser

I honestly don't have one.

Ray

[about Fraser] Sharp shooter first class. Can take the head off a pin.

Fraser

He's right about that.

Ray

[to Morgan] Drop it or he takes you out.

Fraser

I would if I had a gun, Ray.

Show me the gun!

Fraser

Well we'd have to go back to my office. I do have this knife.

Ray

Oh, that's good Benny. Threaten her with your camping utensils.

Benton Fraser

She shot my hat, Ray.

Ray Vecchio

She shot you in the hat?

Fraser

I can feel air coming in through the hole.

Ray

She shot you in the hat, alright.

Fraser

How does it look?

Ray

Doesn't look good.

Fraser

We'll have to go home and get my other one.

Ray

We can do that, Fraser.

Fraser

Thanks, Ray.

Ray Vecchio

...All I'm saying is, in the future, it's a good idea that you don't suggest somebody shoot me.

Benton Fraser

Well I didn't want to, Ray, but it was necessary in order to enrage her.

Ray

You wanted to enrage the person that had a gun to my neck. That was your strategy?

Fraser

I knew that if I kept at it, eventually I'd draw her fire and you'd get your shot. And I knew you'd trust me.

Ray

But I didn't.

Fraser

Yes you did.

Ray

No, I didn't.

Fraser

Yes. You did.

Ray

No. I didn't.

Fraser

Well of course you did. Maybe you just weren't fully aware of it.

Ray

I was very aware of my feelings toward you, Fraser.

Fraser

Well if you didn't know what I was planning, then why'd you follow along?

Ray

I wasn't playing along, I was begging for my life!

Fraser

Oh. Oh well, uh, my mistake.

Ray

Mistake?! You coulda got me killed!

Fraser

Well no, I'd never allow that - you're my friend. You're my best friend, I'd have to say.

Ray

I am? [pause] Hey! Exactly how many "best friends" have you had?

Ray Vecchio

Elaine you should have seen me. So I land on this conveyor belt and this guy, he jumps on my back, and then suddenly--

Elaine

Fraser saves you.

Ray

'[pause] No, no. I flipped the guy off, but then he grabs a crowbar, right? And he swings it at my--

Elaine

Fraser grabs it.

Ray

[frustrated] No. I duck and then out of nowhere--

Elaine

Fraser appears.

Ray

[evil grin] Did you know that he pins his wallet to his underwear?

Elaine

Cool.

Benton Fraser

Well, actually, I was very young and the underwear was rather long and I... [Fraser turns from Elaine and looks for Ray] Ray?

Elaine

Okay.