[talking in his sleep] Your honor... all expenses paid... in advance...
All S1
S1 E1The Name is Dragon
Gwizdo Come on, hop to it! Adventure and big bucks won't sit around to wait for us! [a shadow forms over him] How about that? It's clouded over.
What the heck does he think, we get paid for goofin' off?
Gwizdo, there's something I have to tell you. You and Lian-Chu were orphans, right?
Yeah, and?
Well, don't you think that your tragedy thing there, plus suddenly having a mother, would be a real shock to his mind?
You sure are lucky I like you. And you're lucky I can't read.
Is that what a tragedy is?
Tragedy, my young lady, is a noble art form offering a symbolic vision of the world, based on the intersection of the written text and the actor's identity.
It's just not possible. He can't do this. Not to me. Not to him. Not after all these years. We were a team. Two fingers like this. And now he's migrating to a distant land. He's flying with his family and left me all alone.
[He sobs into the table. Jennyline gives him a bowl of potatoes]
You know, he's probably happier this way. [She sits next to him] He's finally found himself a family. [She seductively moves closer to him] And you know, you could have one, too. [She wraps her arm around his shoulder so that his head is lightly buried in her bust and strokes his head. Hector scoffs at the sight] I know what it's like to be alone with my three husbands, and I wouldn't like the thought of a little fellow like you abandoned in the world of brutes.
That's nice of you.
It's no big deal. One more husband...
[Gwizdo finally realizes what Jennyline is implying and gets up]
Jennyline, that's, uh, very nice of you, but, really, I'd resent myself. I'd have the feeling you were sacrificing yourself for me, and that would just torment me. Really, that... believe me, it's true. Let's just leave it at that, okay?
It can't be. He's relapsing!
No, Gwizdo, he's just saying goodbye to his mother.
S1 E2It's a Dragon's Life
Here's to the greatest huntin' duo of all time. To Gwizdo and Lian-Chu!
[He takes a big gulp of his drink]
JJeanneline
If they helped to pay the rent, it would be even better.
What about Hector? Doesn't he count?
[Gwizdo does a spit take]
Hector?!
[He bursts out laughing]
Oh, Zaza. Don't make me laugh like that when my mouth's full.
[He continues to laugh]
7AM on the button... I'm tellin' ya, punctuality is goin' to the dogs!
[trying to pull the St. George out of a swamp] Whaddaya mean, this never woulda happened with Hector?! If he'd actually tuned up the St. George before goin' off to play Tarzan, we wouldn't have taken off with a propellor full of gunk! You just wait and see if I don't dock his next paycheck!
He's never had a paycheck, Gwizdo.
[The dog digs up an overly large bone]
[panicked] Oh, lordy. Hector! We're too late!
[Lian-Chu studies the bone]
That is a Herdaticus Nervous femur. It must be at least 15 lunar cycles old, given the heridity of the soil.
[sighing with relief] For a second there...
[to Hector] I didn't know your species was afraid of dogs.
[to Hector] And to think we've been tryin' to convince everyone that you were a dog!
S1 E3Desperately Seeking Zoria
[Gwizdo is strapped to a wooden frame covered in maces and axes]
Oh boy... I don't like the looks of this... Whatever you're doin', uh, could you possibly, uh, tell me, uh, what's goin' on here?
KILord of Kellmoth Island
The girl didn't want to share her secret with us. So I thought, since you seem to be friends...
Let's not get carried away, we're not that good friends.
[a torturer steps over to Gwizdo]
Heh heh, is this all that necessary?
KILord of Kellmoth Island
Give me the Number 2 Dead Man's Doodlewinger.
[the torturer laughs gleefully and walks away]
Zoria, sweetie, you're gonna have to tell him your secret. The little game is over.
ZZoria
But Gwizdo, I already told you, I don't have a secret.
[glaring angrily at Zoria] Well then, figure somethin' out! Invent, imagine, envision a secret!
[the torturer brings out a sinister looking black box with a red insignia on it. The Lord of Kellmoth Island opens the box and laughs sadistically]
Nooo, don't hurt meee!... What in the heck?
[Gwizdo begins to laugh uncontrollably. Pan to reveal the Lord of Kellmoth island tickling the dragon hunter's bare feet with a feather]
No! S-stop! No, no, please stop! I can't take it!
[Lian-Chu and Zoria put their hands to their faces in horror]
KILord of Kellmoth Island
So?
ZZoria
Oh, but I already told you!
KILord of Kellmoth Island
Bring me the Number Three!
[the torturer brings a large box containing a feather duster]
No!
[the Lord tickles Gwizdo's right foot with the feather duster]
Please, have pity! Not that! I've got a- I've got a- I've got a secret for you!
[the Lord stops tickling]
Here's the score. We're dragon hunters. Actually, we're the best dragon hunters around. And we're gettin' rid of your pigots for ya!
KILord of Kellmoth Island
Baloney. The girl gave us the same spiel.
It's-it's-it's not baloney! W-we can prove it by mincing up those nasty beasts! Wait! You got nothin' to lose in this deal!
[the Lord starts tickling Gwizdo's left foot]
Hey! W-we'll even gut the monsters for free!
S1 E4The Return of Roger
Maybe this Roger guy just wants free room and board, to sleep in our beds, and eat your cooking.
Kind of like you guys.
Guess what's in my pocket?
My rent?
Noo, better.
An engagement ring?
[Gwizdo presents an advertisement to her]
Look at this masterpiece. I put 'em up all over the place! "Got a dragon pestering you? Gwizdo and Lian-Chu get rid of your trash for a big wad of cash!" [He chuckles to himself] Happy now?
[Jennyline's eyes narrow]
Look closer. You see what I see? Hordes of desperate customers bangin' down our door!
[grabbing the advertisement] Let me see that. Say, these posters must have cost a bundle to print. The paper, the ink. How would you like to explain where you got the money to have these all made?
[nervously] Eh, well, eh, the money came from, uh...
Listen here. I just hope for your sake it's got nothing to do with the sudden disappearance of my silverware!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dragon Hunters pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.