Doctor Who quotes

Duggan

Thought these places were meant to be open all night.

Romana II

You should go into partnership with a glazier. You'd have a truly symbiotic working relationship.

Duggan

...What?

Romana II

I'm just pointing out that you break a lot of glass.

Duggan

You can't make an omlette without breaking eggs. [smashes the neck off a bottle of wine]

Romana II

If you wanted an omlette, I'd expect to find a pile of broken crockery, a cooker in flames, and an unconscious chef.

How long have you been married to the Count?

The Countess Scarlioni

Long enough.

Oh, "long enou..." I like that. Discretion and charm. So civilized. So terribly unhelpful.

The Countess Scarlioni

Discretion and charm. Hm. I couldn't live without it, especially in matters concerning the Count.

There is such a thing as discretion. There's also such a thing as willful blindness.

The Countess Scarlioni

Blind? I help him to steal the Mona Lisa, the greatest crime in the century, and you call me blind?

Yes! You see the Count as a master criminal, an art dealer, an insanely wealthy man. And you'd like to see yourself as his consort. But what's he doing in the cellar?

The Countess Scarlioni

[bitterly] ...Tinkering. Every man must have his hobby.

Man? Are you sure of that? A man with one eye, and green skin, eh? Ransacking the art treasures of history to help him make a machine to reunite him with his people, the Jaggeroth?

And you didn't notice anything. How discreet. How charming.

Now Count, this is what I've come to say. If you're thinking of going back in time, you better forget it.

Now why do you say that?

Well, because I'm going to stop you.

Oh no, on the contrary, Doctor. You're going to help me.

I am?

You are, indeed. And if you do not, it'll be so much the worse for you, for this young lady, and for thousands of other people I could mention if I happened to have the Paris telephone directory on my person.

Count, that sort of blackmail won't work, because I know what the consequences will be if you get what you wanted. I can't let you fool about with time.

What else do you ever do?

[caught out] ...Ah, well, I'm a professional; I know what I'm doing.

To me, one of the most curious things about this piece is its wonderful afunctionalism.

Yes, I see what you mean. Divorced from its function and seen purely as a piece of art, its structure of line and colour is curiously counterpointed by the redundant vestiges of its function.

And since it has no call to be here, the art lies in the fact that it is here.

Exquisite. Absolutely exquisite.

Duggan

Where are we?

This... a-hm... will be... the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Duggan

We're standing on land!

Romana II

He's out of his depth.

Duggan. Duggan! I think that was possibly the most important punch in history.

Is no one interested in history, hmmm?

I suppose you could say the yoke's on him if you were the sort of person who said that sort of thing which fortunately I'm not.

Stupid expression, 'stands to reason.' Why isn't it 'lie down to reason?' Much easier to reason lying down.

Well, to be fair I had a couple of gadgets he probably didn't, such as a teaspoon and an open mind.

[Introducing himself] Astrologer extraordinary. Seer to princes and emperors. The future foretold, the present explained, the past... apologised for.

Romana II

So Erato came here to offer you metal in exchange for chlorophyll. Of course!

Right. But who was the first person he met?

The person who held the monopoly of metal.

Right! And did she put the welfare of her struggling people above her own petty power? No... she tipped the ambassador into a pit and threw astrologers at him!

I don't think we should interfere.

Interfere? Of course we should interfere! Always do what you're best at, that's what I say.

Look, have a jelly baby and don't forget to brush your teeth.

Tryst

I am helping to conserve endangered species.

By putting them in this machine?

Tryst

Yes.

Ah yes, of course. Just in the same way a jam maker conserves raspberries.