Doctor Who quotes

[in disbelief] I'm waving at fat...

Actually, as a diet plan, it sort of works. [sees "Miss Foster" also being beamed up] There she is! Matron Cofelia, listen to me!

Oh, I don't think so, Doctor. And if I never see you again, it'll be too soon.

[exasperated] Oh, why does no one ever listen?! I'm trying to help! Just get across to the roof! Can you shift the levitation beam?

What? So that you can arrest me?

Just listen! I saw the Adiposian instructions - they know it's a crime, breeding on Earth. So what's the one thing they want to get rid of? Their accomplice!

[smugly] I'm far more than that. I'm nanny, to all these children.

Exactly! Mum and Dad have got the kids now, they don't need the nanny anymore!

[still tied to her chair] Oi! You two, you're just mad! Do you hear me?! Mad! And I'm going to report you for... madness! [storms off]

[shaking her head] You see, some people just can't take it.

Nope.

And some people can. [looks at him, beaming] So, then! TARDIS! Come on!

With Martha, like I said, it got... complicated. And that was all my fault. I just want a mate.

You just want to mate?!

I just want a mate!

You're not mating with me, sunshine!

A mate! I want A mate!

Well, just as well, cos I'm not having any of that nonsense! You're just a long streak of nothing! Alien nothing!

Who are you?

I am...Spartacus.

And so am I.

Mr. and Mrs. Spartacus?

Oh, no-no-no-no-no, we're not married.

Oh, brother and sister? Yes, of course, you look very much alike.

[together] Really?!

This prattling voice will cease forever!

[sardonically] Oh, that'll be the day.

No man is allowed to enter the Temple of Sybil!

Oh that's all right. [mocking] Just us girls. You know, I met the Sybil once. Hell of a woman! Blimey, she could dance a tarantella! Nice teeth... Truth be told, I think she had a bit of a thing for me. I said it would never last, she said "I know". Well, she would. [to Donna, who is still tied to the altar.] You all right there?

[sarcastic] Oh, never better.

I like the toga.

Thank you. And the ropes?

Eh, not so much.

[discussing the earthquake of AD 62] After the great earthquake seventeen years ago... An awful lot of damage, but we rebuilt.

Didn't you think of moving away? On, no, then again, San Francisco.

That's a new restaurant in Naples, isn't it?

There is nowhere to run, Doctor, and daughter of London!

Now then, Lucius, my Lords Pyrovillian! Don't get yourselves in a lather! [pauses] In a "lava"? No? No... But if I might beg the wisdom of the gods before we perish? Once this new race of creatures is complete, then what?

My masters will follow the example of Rome itself! An almighty empire, bestriding the whole of civilisation!

But if you've crashed, and you've got all this technology, why don't you just go home?!

The Heaven of Pyrovillia is gone.

What do you mean "gone", where's it gone?

It was taken! Pyrovillia is lost. But there is heat enough in this world for a new species to rise.

Yeah, I should warn you, it's 70% water out there--

Water can boil! And everything will burn, Doctor!

Then the whole planet is at stake - thank you, that's all I needed to know.

But if there's aliens setting off the volcano, doesn't that make it all right? For you to stop it?

Still part of history.

Well, I'm history to you. You saved me in 2008, you saved us all. Why's that different?

Some things are fixed, some things are in flux. Pompeii is fixed.

How do you know which is which?

'Cause that's how I see the universe. Every waking second, I can see what is, what was, what could be, what must not. That's the burden of a Time Lord, Donna. And I'm the only one left.

You've got to go back! Doctor, I am telling you, take this thing BACK! It's not fair!

That's just it. Don't you see, Donna? Can't you understand? If I could go back and save them, then I would, but I can't! I can never go back. I just can't.

I said military figures. That's the domestic file. [hands back the file]

[slams the file back down on the desk, as he has an onset of Red Eye] The file is irrelevant, sir.

Oh, and why is that?

[kills Mr. Bartle via electrocution from its translator] Have a nice day.

I'd now like to point out a new innovation from Ood Operations. We've introduced a variety package with the Ood translator ball. You can now have the standard setting. How are you today, Ood?

I'm perfectly well, thank you.

Or perhaps after a stressful day, a little something for the gentlemen. And how are you, Ood?

[sultry female voice] All the better for seeing you.

And the comedy classic option. Ood, you dropped something.

[voice of Homer Simpson] D'oh!

The Ood were nothing without us -- just animals roaming around on the ice.

That's because you can't hear them.

They welcomed it! It's not as if they put up a fight!

You idiot. They're born with their brains in their hands! Don't you see? That makes them peaceful! They've got to be, because a creature like that would have to trust anyone it meets!

Ooh, nice one.

Thank you.

[holding the Doctor and Donna at gunpoint] Can't say I've ever shot anyone before. Can't say I'm going to like it. But, err, it's not exactly a normal day, is it? Still!

Would you like a drink, sir?

[chuckles] I think hair loss is the least of my problems right now, thanks.

[moves in front of the Doctor and Donna] Please have a drink, sir.

[now struggling to speak] If... if you're going to stand in their way, I'll... shoot you too...

Please have a drink, sir.

[now scared] Have you... poisoned me?!

Natural Ood must never kill, sir.

What is that stuff?

Ood graft suspended in a biological compound, sir.

What the hell does that mean?!

[realizing] Oh dear...

TELL ME!

Funny thing, the subconscious. Takes all sorts of shapes. Came out in the redeye as revenge, came out in the rabid Ood as anger, and then there was patience. All that intelligence and mercy focused on Ood Sigma... How's that hair loss, Mr. Halpen?

What have you done?!

Oh, they've been preparing you for a very long time. And now you're standing next to the Ood Brain - Mr. Halpen, can you hear it? Listen!

[shaking] What have you...? I'm not...

[utterly shocked] They... they turned him into an Ood?!

Yep.

He's an Ood!

I noticed.

He has become Oodkind, and we will take care of him.

It's weird - being with you, I can't tell what's right and what's wrong anymore!

It's better that way. People who know for certain tend to be like Mr. Halpen.

Will you stay? There is room in the song for you.

Oh, I've, I've... sort of got a song of my own, thanks.

I think your song must end soon.

[unnerved by this] Meaning?

Every song must end.

And your name?

General Staal of the Tenth Sontaran Battle Fleet. "Staal The Undefeated!"

Oh, that's not a very good nickname. What if you do get defeated? "Staal The Not-Quite-So-Undefeated-Anymore-But-Never-Mind"?

He's like a potato. A baked potato, a talking baked potato...

Now, Ross, don't be rude. You look like a pink weasel to him.