Eleventh Doctor quotes from Doctor Who

Where did you get this book?

It was in my jacket.

How did it get there?

How does anything get there? I've given up asking.

That gravestone, Rory's, there's room for one more name, isn't there?

What are you talking about? Back away from the Angel. Come back to the TARDIS. We'll figure something out.

The Angel – would it send me back to the same time, to him?

I don't know. Nobody knows.

But it's my best shot, yeah?

No!

Doctor, shut up! Yes! Yes, it is!

Amy...

Well, then. I just have to blink, right?

No!

It'll be fine. I know it will. I'll- I'll- I’ll be with him, like I should be. Me and Rory together. [She pauses] Melody?

Stop it! Just- Just stop it!

[Crying] You look after him, and you be a good girl, and you look after him. [River kisses her hand]

You are creating fixed time. I will never be able to see you again!

[Sobbing harder] I'll be fine. I'll be with him.

[Also crying now] Amy, please, just come back into the TARDIS. Come along, Pond, please.

Raggedy man, [Amy turns to look the Doctor in the eye] goodbye!

[Sobbing] No!

River... They were your parents. Sorry. I didn't even think.

Doesn't matter.

Course it matters.

What matters is this: Doctor, don't travel alone.

Travel with me, then.

Whenever and wherever you want. But not all the time! One psychopath per TARDIS, don't you think?

Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?

Permission granted.

Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.

Thank you, Strax. And if I'm ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you'll certainly be the first to know.

Doctor Simeon, sir, there's someone demanding to see you.

No callers, not in here, not ever. Did he leave his name?

Sir... it's Sherlock Holmes!

Oh, yes! Nice office, big globey thing. Now, shut up, don't tell me! I see from your collar stud you have an apple tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right?

[annoyed] No.

Do you have a wife?

No.

Bit of a tree? Bit of a wife? Some apples? Come on, work with me here.

I enjoy The Strand Magazine as much as the next man, but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character! Get out!

[to Simeon's servant] Do you have a goldfish named Colin?

...No.

Thought not.

What are you doing here?

Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?

Grenades?

She might have said "help".

Help for what?

Well, your investigation.

[looking offended] Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am?!

... Sherlock Holmes.

Don't be clever, Strax, it doesn't suit you.

Sorry, sir.

I'm the clever one, you're the potato one!

Yes, sir.

Now go away.

[snidely] Yes...Mister Holmes. [leaves, sniggering]

Oi! Shut up! You're not clever or funny, and you've got tiny little legs!

[Clara and the Doctor descend the stairs.] Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?

It's okay! I am your governess' gentleman friend! We've just been upstairs... kissing!

Captain Latimer! In the garden there's snowmen! And they're just growing! Out of nowhere, all by themselves! Look!

Good evening. I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife.

This dwelling is under attack! Remain calm, human scum!

So, any questions?

[to Clara/Miss Montague] You have a... gentleman friend?

Why are you showing me all this?

You followed me, remember. I didn't invite you.

You're nearly a foot taller than I am. You could have reached the ladder without this. [She indicates the umbrella held in her hand] You took it. For me. [She throws him the umbrella] Why?

I never know why. I only know who. [He conjures a TARDIS key up and places it in her hand]

[In 1207 AD, answering the TARDIS phone] Hello?

[In 2013 AD, on her telephone] Ah, hello! I can’t find the Internet.

I'm sorry?

It's gone, the Internet. Can't find it anywhere. Where is it?

The Internet?

Yes, the Internet. Why don't I have the Internet?

It's 1207.

I've got half past three. Am I phoning a different time zone?

Yeah, you really sort of are.

Will it show up on the bill?

Oh, I dread to think.

When you say mobile phone, why do you point at that blue box?

Because it's a surprisingly accurate description!

Okay. We're finished now.

I'm the Doctor. I'm an alien from outer space. I'm a thousand years old, I've got two hearts, and I can’t fly a plane! Can you?

No!

Ooh, fine! Let's do it together!

[out of breath] Would a victory roll be too showy-offy?

But a hundred and one places to see, and you haven’t been to any of them, have you? That's why you keep the book.

I keep the book 'cause I'm still going.

But you don't run out on the people you care about. Wish I was more like that. You know, the thing about a time machine, you can run away all you like and still back in time for tea, so what do you say? Anywhere. All of time and space right outside those doors.

Does this work?

Hey?

[laughs] This is actually what you do? Do you just crook your fingers and people just jump in your snog box and fly away?

It is not a snog box!

I'll be the judge of that.

Starting when?

Come back tomorrow. Ask me again.

Why?

'Cause tomorrow I might say yes. [starts for the doors] Some time after seven okay for you?

It's a time machine. Any time's okay.

Did you just lock us in?

Yep.

With the soul-eating monster?

Yep.

And is there actually a way to get out?

What? Before it eats our souls?

Ideally, yes.

Possibly. Probably. There usually seems to be.

[singing] Rest now, my warrior... Rest now, your hardship is over.

[to Akhaten] Okay, then. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll tell you a story.

Live... wake up, wake up, and let the cloak of life cling to your bones...

Can you hear them? All these people who've lived in terror of you and your judgement. All these people whose ancestors devoted themselves, sacrificed themselves, to you. Can you hear them singing?

Wake up, Wake up...

Oh, you like to think you're a god! But you're not a god. You're just a parasite, eaten out with jealous and envy and longing for the lives of others. You feed on them - on the memory of love and loss and birth and death and joy and sorrow! So... so... come on, then. Take mine. Take my memories. But I hope you've got a big appetite, because I've lived a long life, and I have seen a few things...

Live... Wake up, wake up, and let the cloak of life cling to your bones... [Vocalizing] ... To your bones. Wake up, wake up. [song ends]

I walked away from the Last Great Time War. I marked the passing of the Time Lords. I saw the birth of the universe, and I watched as time ran out, moment by moment, until nothing remained. No time, no space – just me! I walked in universes where the laws of physics were devised by the mind of a madman! And I have watched universes freeze and creations burn! I have seen things you wouldn't believe! I have lost things you will never understand! And I know things - secrets that must never be told, knowledge that must never be spoken! Knowledge that will make parasite gods BLAZE! SO COME ON, THEN! TAKE IT! TAKE IT ALL, BABY! HAVE IT! YOU HAVE IT ALL!!!

Still hungry? Well, I brought something for you. This. The most important leaf in human history. The most important leaf in human history! It's full of stories. Full of history. And full of a future that never got lived. Days that should have been and never were. Passed on to me. This leaf isn't just the past, it's a whole future that never happened. There are billions and millions of unlived days for every day we live — an infinity. All the days that never came. And these are all my mum's.

Well? Come on then. Eat up! Are you full? I expect so. Because there's quite a difference, isn't there, between what was and what should have been? There's an awful lot of one, but there's an infinity of the other! And infinity is too much. Even for your appetite.