Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?
Permission granted.
Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.
Thank you, Strax. And if I'm ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you'll certainly be the first to know.
“The Snowmen”
In this episode: Eleventh Doctor (5), Strax (3)
SServant
Doctor Simeon, sir, there's someone demanding to see you.
WSWalter Simeon
No callers, not in here, not ever. Did he leave his name?
SServant
Sir... it's Sherlock Holmes!
[The Doctor enters, dressed as the aforementioned character]
Oh, yes! Nice office, big globey thing. Now, shut up, don't tell me! I see from your collar stud you have an apple tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right?
WSWalter Simeon
[annoyed] No.
Do you have a wife?
WSWalter Simeon
No.
Bit of a tree? Bit of a wife? Some apples? Come on, work with me here.
WSWalter Simeon
I enjoy The Strand Magazine as much as the next man, but I am perfectly aware that Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character! Get out!
[to Simeon's servant] Do you have a goldfish named Colin?
SServant
...No.
Thought not.
What are you doing here?
Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?
Grenades?
She might have said "help".
Help for what?
Well, your investigation.
[looking offended] Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am?!
... Sherlock Holmes.
Don't be clever, Strax, it doesn't suit you.
Sorry, sir.
I'm the clever one, you're the potato one!
Yes, sir.
Now go away.
[snidely] Yes...Mister Holmes. [leaves, sniggering]
Oi! Shut up! You're not clever or funny, and you've got tiny little legs!
LCaptain Latimer
[Clara and the Doctor descend the stairs.] Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?
It's okay! I am your governess' gentleman friend! We've just been upstairs... kissing!
MMaid
Captain Latimer! In the garden there's snowmen! And they're just growing! Out of nowhere, all by themselves! Look!
[The maid opens the front door, where she is greeted by Madame Vastra (unveiled) and Jenny]
MVMadame Vastra
Good evening. I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife.
[The maid screams and rushed back into the house, where she's interrupted by Strax]
This dwelling is under attack! Remain calm, human scum!
[The maid screams and faints, the Doctor turns to Captain Latimer, who looks shocked]
So, any questions?
LCaptain Latimer
[to Clara/Miss Montague] You have a... gentleman friend?
[Clara/Miss Montague sighs]
COClara Oswin Oswald
Why are you showing me all this?
You followed me, remember. I didn't invite you.
COClara Oswin Oswald
You're nearly a foot taller than I am. You could have reached the ladder without this. [She indicates the umbrella held in her hand] You took it. For me. [She throws him the umbrella] Why?
I never know why. I only know who. [He conjures a TARDIS key up and places it in her hand]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doctor Who pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.