Strax quotes from Doctor Who

Colonel Manton, you will give the order for your men to withdraw.

No. Colonel Manton, I want you to tell your men to run away.

You what?

Those words. "Run away." I want you to be famous for those exact words. [increasingly angry] I want people to call you "Colonel Run Away." I want children laughing outside your door because they've found the house of Colonel Run Away, and when people come to you and ask if trying to get to me through [shouting] THE PEOPLE I LOVE... [calmer] is in any way a good idea... I want you to tell them your name. [pause] Oh, look, I'm angry. That's new. I'm really not sure what's going to happen now.

The anger of a good man is not a problem. Good men... have too many rules.

Good men don't need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.

Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?

Permission granted.

Sir, I am opposed to your current apathy.

Thank you, Strax. And if I'm ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you'll certainly be the first to know.

What are you doing here?

Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?

Grenades?

She might have said "help".

Help for what?

Well, your investigation.

[looking offended] Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am?!

... Sherlock Holmes.

Don't be clever, Strax, it doesn't suit you.

Sorry, sir.

I'm the clever one, you're the potato one!

Yes, sir.

Now go away.

[snidely] Yes...Mister Holmes. [leaves, sniggering]

Oi! Shut up! You're not clever or funny, and you've got tiny little legs!

[Clara and the Doctor descend the stairs.] Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?

It's okay! I am your governess' gentleman friend! We've just been upstairs... kissing!

Captain Latimer! In the garden there's snowmen! And they're just growing! Out of nowhere, all by themselves! Look!

Good evening. I'm a lizard woman from the dawn of time, and this is my wife.

This dwelling is under attack! Remain calm, human scum!

So, any questions?

[to Clara/Miss Montague] You have a... gentleman friend?

[having just fought off a group of attacking pilgrims] What now, Madame? We could lay mimetic cluster mines!

Strax-

Or dig trenches and fill them with acid!

Strax! You're overexcited. Have you been eating Miss Jenny's sherbet fancies again?

...No...?

Go outside and wait until I call for you.

But Madame-!

Go!

[stomping off sulkily] I'm going to go and play with my grenades...