Disenchantment Season 1 quotes

Bean

He thinks he's got it so tough 'cause his mom works? Cry to me when your mom tries to bolt a crown to your skull.

Bean

Oh God, it's over, he's turning blue!

Elfo

He was already blue. I think he's actually turning less blue.

Bean

Is that good or bad?

Elfo

How should I know? I'm green, not blue. God! Do all people of colour look the same to you?

Bean

You never appreciate your lizard stepmom until she becomes a sexy pirate.

Bean

Oh, good. You're still up.

King Zøg

I'm always up. I haven't been able to sleep for weeks. They say turkey helps, but I took two and nothin'

Bean

They're gonna burn us at the stake.

Elfo

Oh, God, I'm gonna smell like burnt candy corn.

Luci

You know, if there's one thing I've learned, it's when you're stuck in a cave with your psycho mum, the best thing to do is play along.

By order of the king, me, Derek, I, we do declare Dreamland is now a theocracy. All power emanates from this holy throne and the ass therein ensconced.

Zøg

[as the cart rolls out of the castle] Hey, Pendergast, it's getting stuffy in here. [No reply] Let's go, already. [He sees Pendergast's decapitated head on a spike] Pendergast...? What are you doing up on that pole? [He exclaims as the horrible realization dawns on him that Pendergast has been killed, and he's being taken away by someone else. He pounds on the coffin] Open it up! Help! Help! Help!! Where are you taking me? Whaddaya doin'?! The wagon wheels are so spooky on the cobblestone. I don't like that sound no more. I used to but now I don't. [The cart enters the Pauper's Graveyard] Aw, come on! What's goin' on? [The coffin is pushed into a grave. The hooded figure begins to shovel dirt on the coffin, obscuring Zøg's view] Hey! Whaddaya doin'? You just gonna leave me in here? You're not gonna say nothin'? [The figure brushes the dirt away, and reveals itself to be the Arch Druidess]

Shaddap. [She laughs maniacally, then shovels the dirt back onto the coffin]

Elfo! Before you go, I've never had ladder sex before.

Elfo

Sorry, I don't have thirty seconds.