Disenchantment quotes

For centuries, no elf has ever left Elfwood.

Except Leavo.

Speak no more of Leavo, Speako!

The bonding has begun. It could take weeks or even years.

We'll need chairs.

Dark chairs.

Elfo, no! It is forbidden!

I don't know why we keep that lever there.

Luci

I am a demon.

Bean

[muffled] You're a demon?!

Luci

That's right. In fact, your personal demon. Get used to it, 'cause you are stuck with me for all eter... [Bean spits him across the room, where he hits the wall and rolls down it like a Wacky WallWalker] ... nity.

Bean

Pops, uh, I'm just kicking back with my new... cat.

Luci

Me?

Luci

Meow. That's what cats say, right?

King Zøg

I'm not here to answer cat questions.

Elfo

Your cruddy life is worth living, Bean. And so is mine... if you live.

Bean

I'm gonna have to kill him or something.

Luci

Do it! Do it! Do it! And after you kill him we can hide the body. Then we could join the search party and you and I can look at each other and try not to laugh.

Luci

Fire doesn't hurt demons, you're only hurting Bean!

Exactly. Once the flesh is burned away, the demon is revealed. Flesh burn, demon return!

Luci

Dude, she needs her flesh. Great... You're gonna make ME be the good guy? Ugh, I hate that.

Luci

[panting] I saved your life, Now I can go back to ruining it. [Luci is suddenly sucked into one of Big Jo's bottles] GYAH!--:

Gotcha.

Luci

Agh! You can't do this, man! I want my lawyer!

Elfo

You'll be amazed how much fun I am on my own. [Bean puts flower in the basket] [chuckles] That's not a daisy.

Bean

What?

Elfo

[chuckles] You put a dandelion in the daisy basket.

Bean

So?

Elfo

So, we're making a daisy chain, not a dandelion chain. Why even bother to call it a daisy chain if you're just gonna... [crying] Oh, God. I'm so sorry! I lied! I'm not really fun. The pressure... it just got to me! [gasps] And then the pressure to sustain the lie? Oh, God, it was a nightmare!

Things get confusing in a world with occasional magic and curses. While I am a fan of such worlds, I just feel some more clearly set out rules for what can and cannot happen would help us... [He gets shot with an arrow. A non-talking one]

Bean

[after Elfo comes between her and Sven] What is your problem, man? This weekend was my one chance at freedom, and you ruined it, just like my dad. [She walks out the door] You are just a little, green Zøg.

Elfo

No, wait! I was just trying to control you... Ohhh. Well, it's not like your dad is entirely... Ohhh. Well, at least he... Ohhh...

Bean

Stop! Nobody fries my dad.

Yeah? Which one of y'all gonna stop us? Skinny girl? Kitty cat? Gross baby?

Elfo

[Chuckles at Luci] He called you a gross baby!

[Sees the drunken bodies of the trio, thinking they're corpses] So tragically young [throws Bean in cart] So tragically small [throws Elfo in cart] Eh... This thing had it comin'! [grabs Luci by his tail and throws him in the cart]

I never had to stoop to kindness or charm. But now those things are gone and so are the ladies. So, tell me why the damsels flock to you, someone far more repulsive than yours porkly.

Luci

I would love to give you some great advice, BUT IT WILL COME AT A GREAT COST! Occasionally I get to ride you like a horse.

Luci

Entertainment is just a tool that pacifies the masses, and leads to the decay and ultimate collapse of civilization... let's clap along!