Luci quotes from Disenchantment

Luci

Entertainment is just a tool that pacifies the masses, and leads to the decay and ultimate collapse of civilization... let's clap along!

Luci

You know, if there's one thing I've learned, it's when you're stuck in a cave with your psycho mum, the best thing to do is play along.

Luci

I am a demon.

Bean

[muffled] You're a demon?!

Luci

That's right. In fact, your personal demon. Get used to it, 'cause you are stuck with me for all eter... [Bean spits him across the room, where he hits the wall and rolls down it like a Wacky WallWalker] ... nity.

Bean

Pops, uh, I'm just kicking back with my new... cat.

Luci

Me?

Luci

Meow. That's what cats say, right?

King Zøg

I'm not here to answer cat questions.

Bean

I'm gonna have to kill him or something.

Luci

Do it! Do it! Do it! And after you kill him we can hide the body. Then we could join the search party and you and I can look at each other and try not to laugh.

Luci

Fire doesn't hurt demons, you're only hurting Bean!

Exactly. Once the flesh is burned away, the demon is revealed. Flesh burn, demon return!

Luci

Dude, she needs her flesh. Great... You're gonna make ME be the good guy? Ugh, I hate that.

Luci

[panting] I saved your life, Now I can go back to ruining it. [Luci is suddenly sucked into one of Big Jo's bottles] GYAH!--:

Gotcha.

Luci

Agh! You can't do this, man! I want my lawyer!

I never had to stoop to kindness or charm. But now those things are gone and so are the ladies. So, tell me why the damsels flock to you, someone far more repulsive than yours porkly.

Luci

I would love to give you some great advice, BUT IT WILL COME AT A GREAT COST! Occasionally I get to ride you like a horse.

The Eternity Pendant must not fall into the wrong hands!

Bean

Malfus, how do you know we'll use the vial properly? You don't know anything about us.

I know all about you, Tiabeanie.

Bean

But I didn't tell you my name.

It's a long story. I...

Luci

[spurring the horse] Hyah!

Elfo

No, I can't go crawling back home! It will wreck my image as a total badass!

Luci

What'd you do? Forget to return a library book?

Elfo

[gasps] Yes! I can never go back home!

Bean

I should know this, but does Elfo have a last name?

Luci

On checks he just writes "Elfo" and then puts a little heart at the end.

Bean

[seeing Elfo hurtling past in a tube] Did you see that? He made it! We're all here together! This is so- [Elfo continues to scream] Oh, wait, hang on. He's still screaming.

Luci

I think he's done now. [Elfo screams again] Nope. Wait... Okay, yes.