Dexter's Laboratory quotes

Greetings, Dexter. Welcome to my laboratory.

Emm, excuse me. But, did you say your laboratory?

Yes, Dexter. My laboratory. While you slumbered, I began an analysis of your primitive laboratory finding it to be highly inefficient. I discovered that by salvaging useful components and destroying obsolete ones, I was able to create this tower capable of performing functions thousands of times greater than its predecessor, rendering a former laboratory and its creator obsolete. And all obsolete materials must be destroyed.

[chuckles] Well, then. It sounds like you had a busy night. I'll just unplug it for a little while and you can get some rest. [Ultrabot 4000 Observation Unit attacks him]

I have created a monster. I got to destroy him.

I heard that. [Ultrabot 4000 Observation Unit attacks him again]

His laboratory, eh? We'll just see about that one.

[hides in a safe place] Drat. What I need is a diversion, something to draw their fire. Dee Dee! Oh, but Dee Dee is only around when I don't want her. [smiles in silence and pretends to be talking to Dee Dee] Oh, I certainly do have a lot of work to do, and I do not wish to be disturbed! I have no time to play now, so many thingies to do.

[arrives] Hi, Dexter!

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Phew! Well, I must say that was the most action I have ever seen. I doubt I will ever have a more adventurous adventure ever.

Like? Like?! Kids, I loved her muffins more than life itself. Those muffins are the reason I married your mother.

[Dressed as Mom] Muffin Time!

[Hidden in the dark] Dexter. Son, could you come in here for a moment? I need to talk to you.

And just what is it you want?

[steps out of the shadows like Darth Vader] Dexter. I... am your father!

[shocked] That is not possible! Oh wait, no, you're right.

So join me! Come to the Muffin Side. Do not resist. It is your destiny.

Never!

We are free!

Looks like you broke into the state prison.

Computer, what the heck is going on?!

Goo goo ga ga goo goo pee-pee!

Hmm, yes, pee-pee...

Hmm... What the...? [cuts to mugs leaking coffee, coffee pot, and milk] The kitchen's a mess. Something wrong here...! [searches through cabinets] Coffee, coffee, where's the coffee? Hello, coffee?! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE COFFEE?!

Uh...

We drank it all. [Dad looks shocked, then eerily calm]

You... drank the coffee? [laughs] You two drank the coffee?

[nervous giggling]

[laughing] [goes upset] Where did I go wrong?! I thought I was a good father. I thought I brought you kids up right. You see, kids, coffee is what we adults need to get started in the morning. It's the key to our ignition. You kids don't need it. No, you've got youth! We adults need the coffee. But now, all we have is... [holds up empty coffee pot] THIS! [tries to get a drop from the coffee pot but nothing comes out] Empty! A mere shell of its former self! I've seen some pretty horrible things in my life, but this... this is just... [lowers his voice to a hiss] SICK! [sobbing]

Everything is gonna be okay! We had coffee after all! [with a frightened look] But what if we didn't?

Hon, when's the last time we washed the car?

Give us a kiss.

[She replies by pushing him away] Ew! Gross! I don't wanna kiss you! [She leaves]

[dejected] So, what's new?

So... as I was saying, we here at Huber Elementary take great pride in our brightest students like Dexter here [he rubs Dexter's head, Dexter laughs], which brings me to why I called you both here. It seems that, well, Dexter's grades are slipping. Now, ma'am, I know this may be hard for you to swallow, but... but... Dexter got an A minus on his last test. [starts crying] I'm sorry!

That's it? An A minus, that's what you did wrong?!

Uh...

You give me a full body makeover all for a lousy A minus?!

Um...

Jeez, I thought you stole the school mascot or destroyed the science lab...

Hey!

Or at least TP'd his office!

Hey!

But no, you got a stupid A minus, [hits Dexter's head] dork.

Oh my.

Well, "Mom", I wouldn't have gotten an A minus [jumps up and raises his voice] IF MY STUPID SISTER WOULD STOP BUGGING ME!

Dee Dee is not stupid! She is prettier, taller, nicer, friendlier, happier, and way more popular than you'll ever be! Plus, your father and I like her best so...

Um... Eh... Er... Wait. Er... stop? Please? Please! STOP!!! [Dexter and Dee Dee stop fighting] That's enough! Obviously, this Dee Dee is the root of a lot of aggression between you two. Which is why I'd like the three of you to talk to the school counselor, let's say, same time tomorrow?

So, Dexter, where's your new buddy? Oh! Well, hello down there!

Hey! It's the man from before!

Oh!

This one's a lady!

He certainly is friendly.

Oh! Yeah, a little too friendly.

IT'S THE STICK!