I've got a reputation to live up to. If my show does not make people vomit and have an erection at the same time, then I've let my audience down.
S3 E10Go Your Own Way
S3 E11I Had a Dream
Friends are always honest with each other. They can see past their differences. When they have a conflict, friends are there to forgive, a true friend knows when to bury the hatchet because friendship is a sacred bond build on trust
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[voiceover] Kill me now.
[voiceover, post-bachelor party] After last night they all think we share a secret, but Miguel's the only one who knows mine. I could tell the rest of them, but then I'll have to kill them. Just like I'm going to kill Miguel.
[voiceover] If home is where the heart is, where do you go when you don't have a heart? In Miguel's case, a five-star hotel.
[voiceover, sees LaGuerta collecting evidence] Miguel probably thinks he's getting lucky. Looks like he's getting screwed.
You need something under the table, I'm your guy. [pause] That didn't come out right.
What are you working on?
I, uh, found a gray hair. I was curious.
Oh, dude, I've totally done that.
You're bald.
[points below belt]
Oh.
Whenever you have an earth-shattering, ball-crushing mindfuck of a secret, you should tell your fucking sister.
[wrapped to a table] It doesn't have to come to this.
But it always does. I had high hopes for you, but I guess I just have to accept that I will always be alone.
That's not true.
You talking truth. That's good. You actually had me believing that I could have a friend and you fed me all your bullshit.
It wasn't bullshit!
[Clamps a hand over Miguel's mouth] Shh...
I tried. I tried to crack through that armor of yours. I know it's a possibility. I can still see the possibilities.
So this is my fault for being shut down?
I just wanted you to let me in!
Why the fuck would I do that now?
I know you. I know you, Dex, better than anyone else.
Oh, there've been quite a few who've seen the real me as they laid on that table. You're all just unchecked versions of myself. What I would've become without my father's code.
I'm not like them! I'm like you.
[Slaps him] No, no, no, no. No. I know I'm a monster.
I accept you. I accept you, Dex, like a brother.
I killed my brother.
...
I killed yours, too.
[Shocked] Oscar?...You?
I didn't plan to, but it was... kill or be killed, ya know.
[Wracked with emotion] YOU!!! You killed Oscar!
What did you say in your bachelor party speech? Friends are always honest.
Friends forgive. Friends forgive.
But I don't forgive you – and I don't get to have friends.
[As Dexter wraps a garrote around his neck] You little freak! You think I'm done with you?! You think this ends here?! IT DOESN'T!!!
It does for you.[Strangles Miguel until he's dead]
[Voiceover] Adios, amigo.
Please tell me you're not freezing sperm in there.
This only gets down to minus 40 degrees centigrade. Freezing sperm requires a vessel to be at least minus 200. What? I'm a donor. It's my way of giving back.
God help the children.
Use my authorization code to make it happen. Procedure above board, results - under the table - you good with that?
Absolutely. If you need something under the table, I'm your guy. [Pause] That didn't come out right.
S3 E12Do You Take Dexter Morgan?
[voiceover] There are few milestones in life that evoke a stronger response than our final act: death. What was once moving, speaking, killing, and threatening becomes nothing but an empty vessel, which is not so different from how I've always felt.
That was awkward. I don't think I've ever been asked to leave a funeral before.
Ramon didn't ask you to leave – he pushed you out the door. He's just so angry.
He's lost two brothers. He doesn't know whom to blame.
Certainly not you.
[voiceover] No, certainly not me.
[voiceover, trying to write vows] Darling Rita, once you were a dream and a prayer. Now our future is as bright as the sun glinting off the morning dew, and I vow that I will –. Sounds like I'm marrying a unicorn.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Dexter pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.