Debra Morgan quotes from Dexter

Dexter

I remember your first words: shoes. You were very girly once upon a time.

Debra

That's funny. I always remember my first words as being, 'Hurry the fuck up.'

Debra

What in the mother of fuck went on in here?

Masuka

I know exactly what happened. Two words: autoerotic mummification. See, Mr. Plastic Man shot Captain Bloody Underpants while Underpants was in the choke.

Debra

Any idea where you want to live? I'm sorry. That was a stupid question. You should take the apartment.

Dexter

No. No, that's yours.

Debra

No, I insist. It's really always been yours.

You alright?

Debra

Three people are dead. Carlos Fuentes and two girls. No one's crying about Carlos.

Because he's a scumbag.

Debra

Yeah, he's a scumbag that I shot and killed.

And? What's the problem? Don't tell me that you feel bad about killing him.

Debra

I don't. That's the problem.

Angel

Deb. I'm gonna do whatever it takes, to set the record straight.

Debra

I thought you were backing LaGuerta's story.

Angel

I didn't know what I was gonna do. I was stuck between a rock and my wife. But I decided, I'm backing you.

Debra

Might not go over to well at home.

Angel

You're flesh and blood to me. Like my kid sister, but better, because I actually like you.

Debra

[Touched] Damn.

Angel

It's okay.

Debra

Yeah, it's okay.

Debra

You gonna introduce us?

That's the one I was telling you about - his new girlfriend.

Dexter

She's my tenant. Lumen, this is my sister Debra. Deb, Lumen.

Debra

I didn't know he had a tenant.

Lumen

Didn't know he had a sister. I'm gonna...go check on the girls.

Debra

Seriously? That's your tenant?

Dexter

Yes.

Debra

Where's all her stuff?

Dexter

She hasn't really moved in yet.

Debra

But you know her well enough to trust her with your son.

Dexter

It was an emergency. I thought the girls had been taken.

Debra

Why are you keeping her a secret?

Dexter

I'm not.

Debra

Really? Cos at the station we asked you who you were spending your time with. You didn't think to mention the hot blonde that's living in your house?

Dexter

Didn't seem...like it mattered. Obviously she didn't take the girls.

Debra

That's not the point. I'm not judging you. Believe me - I understand rebound as much as anybody. But don't you think it's a little soon?

Dexter

I'm not on any rebound.

Debra

Come on. She's your tenant - really?

Dexter

There's nothing going on.

Debra

Fine. I give up.

Debra

Watching these DVDs, watching it actually happen, is way worse than any fucking crime scene. What these women went through... I don't know. Maybe it's a fucking blessing that they're dead. No one could go through something like this and have a life again.

Dexter

[Long pause] People may be stronger than you think.

Debra

Believe me on this one, you're wrong. There's no coming back from something like this.

Debra

Watching these DVDs, watching it actually happen, is worse than any fucking crime scene. What these women went through, I don't know, maybe it's a fucking blessing that they're dead. No one could go through something like this and have a life again.

Dexter

People may be stronger than you think.

Debra

Believe me, on this one, you're wrong. There's no coming back from something like this.

Dexter

Where's 13?

Debra

Disc 13, it was damaged. I was actually grateful I didn't have to watch another one of these.

Dexter

Have you been here all night?

Debra

Yeah. And I think it was worth it cos I think I'm starting to figure it out. I went through Cole Harmon's contacts. And do you remember that weird plastic-wrap murder a few weeks back - those two guys at the warehouse?

Dexter

Yeah, one of them was a dentist.

Debra

A kids' dentist. Dan Mendell. Well, it turns out he and Cole are buddies. They fucking poke each other on Facebook. And you see that ring on the DVD? It matches photos taken at the warehouse crime scene. So, I think he's one of these guys. So, Dan the dentist is dead. He was shot to death. Looks like somebody attacked Cole Harmon in his house. And Boyd Fowler's disappeared. This is a group of guys that like to get together and they like to do this for fun. So, what else do they have in common? They're all missing. But they're not on the run, I can tell you that. Not one of them bought a plane ticket, or emptied their bank account or used a fucking credit card. Someone is taking these guys out.

Dexter

Who?

Debra

Well, at first I thought they were turning on each other. Then I thought, "That doesn't make sense. Why would they do that after all this time?" So, I started asking myself, "Who would want to take these guys out?" And you know the first person that came to mind? Me.

Dexter

You?

Debra

Someone who knows what these cocksuckers have been up to and wants to give them what they deserve.

Dexter

So, what are you saying? There's a vigilante out there?

Debra

Yeah, I think that's what I'm saying. Yes.

Debra

There are 13 DVDs and only 12 victims. So I'm thinking that one of the barrel girls escaped and now she's after the men that abducted her. And she is hunting them and she is killing them.

How is that even possible? The barrel girls are all slight of build. Alex Tilden was what, 175 pounds?

Masuka

Minimum.

Debra

Maybe she had help.

Like who?

Debra

I don't know. A man - someone she trusts. Someone who cares about her - a father, brother, husband, boyfriend.

So now it's vigilantes in love.

Masuka

Yeah, like Romeo and Juliet - except they didn't kill anyone. No, more like Bonnie and...Clyde.

Dexter

[Voiceover: Great. They ended up dead in a bullet-riddled car.]

Debra

What you said in there, do you really believe that? Do you really believe in nothing?

Dexter

Well, I suppose I believe in a certain set of principles.

Debra

What kind of principles?

Dexter

Well, a set of rules on how to conduct myself in the world so I don't get into trouble.

Hey, uh, could we talk in private?

Debra

Yeah, go ahead.

No I mean like, later, over dinner.

Debra

Why?

What's the big deal?

Debra

That's what I'm asking you. You're being weird.

You're being weird.

Debra

Okay, now you're being weird and stupid.

Debra

What is going on with you? You're acting so weird lately.

I'm not acting weird, I...

Debra

You're about to drink the candle.

Debra

Quinn just fucking proposed to me over fucking pancakes. What the fuck is wrong with him?

Dexter

He's Quinn?

Debra

I never wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

Dexter

So I take it this means it's a "no"?

Debra

Goddamn pantyhose. Has anyone ever died of crotch asphyxiation?

Dexter

You have now crossed the line into inappropriate brother-sister exchanges.

Jamie

Uh Deb is that you on TV?

Debra

Oh fuck!! [a mother with kids glares at her] Sorry!