[Mary Jo drags Julia to a keg party for moral support as she breaks off with her younger boyfriend, Kenny. As Julia returns from the powder room she runs into Kenny.]
KKenny
Mrs. Sugarbaker! How 'bout you and I going out sometime? I bet I could pick up a thing or two from you.
I believe that you will find as years go by, and you get older and wiser, traversing life's little ups and downs, that underwear probably really doesn't make all that good of a hat.(turning to Mary Jo and speaking loudly to be heard over the music) The powder room isn't really functional now. The keg is in the bathtub and it seems the tap is slow. This is a source of some concern for all the young men in there because they are trying to fill Craig's funnel. Craig, it seems, drinks his beer out of a funnel.
[Charlene tracks Julia down by phone for advice on handling her fiance's snooty family, who thinks she has no class . . . Julia continues in her loud voice in order to hear herself.]
That's just the point, Charlene. If you have class, you have it. It doesn't matter where you are or who you're with . . . and I have to go now because Craig is getting ready to drink out of the funnel.
I love your son with all my heart, and I'll do anything to make him happy. But as much as I want to fit into his family, I'm just as proud of the one I come from.
Don't try to reason with her, Anthony. Suzanne does not understand the concept of fairness. She only understands punishment and reward. If you don't want her to eat anymore of your cookies, I suggest you put a little mousetrap in there. Let it snap on her hand once, I guarantee she'll get the point.
I'm saying I want you and your equipment out of here now. If you are looking for somebody to suck pearls, then I suggest you try finding yourself an oyster. Because I am not a woman who does that, as a matter of fact, I don't know any woman who does that, because it's stupid. And it doesn't have any more to do with decorating than having cleavage and looking sexy has to do with working in a bank. These are not pictures about the women of Atlanta. These are about just the same thing they're always about. And it doesn't matter whether the clothes are on or off... it's just the same ol' message. And I don't care how many pictures you've taken of movie stars — when you start snapping photos of serious, successful businessmen like Donald Trump and Lee Iacocca in unzipped jumpsuits with wet lips, straddling chairs, then we'll talk.
Suzanne, why are you so interested in this course now? I mean, you didn't even want to go the first time. Now every time I see you it's, "Charlene threaten me, Charlene come at me with a knife, Charlene mug me at the Ready Teller."
Suzanne, I appreciate your enthusiasm for our anti-mugging course, and I must admit that occasionally this week I have enjoyed choking you, but this is a place of business.
You know, I think that women are just about ready to say, if you come up to us with a gun or a knife, you better be prepared to use it right then and there, because we are not going anywhere with you. And we are not going to be dug up, raped and mutilated months later on some rural road. We are going to be prepared to stand and fight with dignity in the parking lots and the shopping centers and the driveways of America. But buddy, you better be prepared to do the same, because even at the very least, one of us is going to be walking funny.
Oh, you know how they always show some young blonde thing in high heels with her bosom popping out of the dress, you know, running away from some monster or killer or something, and she's doing pretty good, she's making pretty good time until *snap* she twists that ankle. And then she just lies there til the monster polishes her off. I mean, I guess that's what you get for having big breasts and running around on three inch stilts.
I want a movie where a woman with a gun knows how to use it, and doesn't let some man wrench it out of her wimpy little wrist. I want a movie where the hero is Charlene, not Charles Bronson.
