There she is. Okay, so I say we just over there and be ourselves, girls. Well, not totally ourselves. We should definitely be a bit ourselves. We could also pretend we’re sort of better than we actually are, so, I suppose what I’m saying is we could present a version of ourselves as less --
Crap.
Precisely.
Why do we even have to talk to her?
Because she’s new, Michelle!
Urgh! I hate people I don’t know.
And, in case you hadn’t noticed, she also happens to be Chinese. I mean, how class would it be to have a Chinese friend?!
We could keep her in my toy box.
No, we couldn’t, Orla.
Oh, she’d definitely fit.
That is not the point.
Fine. But can we agree it’s on a strict one-in, one-out basis? If she joins the group, James has to leave.
Course!
Absolutely.
Excuse me?
(greets Mae in Chinese)
Is she all right?
Burning for you, Clare.
I-It’s Cantonese.
Right. Well, I’m from Donegal and we speak English there.
If you say so, Mae, but I spent the summer in Killybegs, and seriously? Not a fucking word.
We just wanted to introduce ourselves and --
Okay, I think I see where this is going. I get this a lot. Dull white girls wanting me to join their gang because, well…
We’re not dull.
Sure.
And I’m actually a boy.
Whoa. She has a really fucked-up accent.
We know.
(sighs) What’s in this for me? What are you bringing to the table?
Cream crackers?
I’m good for cream crackers, thank you. I’ll see you around, girls. (She is about to leave)
Maybe we don’t need a Chinese person. We’ve already got a lesbian.
What? Who?
Me.
Really? You don’t look like a lesbian.
What do you mean?
Just that you’re a bit…short.
Well, there’s no height restrictions… as far as I’m aware.
Interesting. I’ve always wanted a gay friend. I mean, ideally a fella.
Howdy, folks!
Christ.
I’m Jenny. This is Aisling. We just thought we’d introduce ourselves and see if…
Too late, Jenny. She’s ours.
I see. Look, these girls are great, but I do have a pen pal from the Caribbean, so, perhaps my circle is a little bit more diverse.
Back. Off.
Think it over. Give me a call. Oh, and FYI, the prom queen vote closes today.
FY nobody gives a shit.
Here’s the wee ballot.
I see you’ve thrown your hat into the ring, Jenny.
I had my arm twisted, but feel free to tick my box.
Dirty bitch.
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